Chris.....the name runs through my head like a frightened animal trying to esacpe a predator. I don't know WHY I can't stop thinking about him or the trivial things about him that have always made me smile.....Maybe I'm beginning to regret killing him and burying him under that big tree in my backyard but who knows.....I wanted him all to myself and now I have that so I should be happy. I smile. He's all mine, and now he can't complain about it because he's dead. He won't be complaining about anything now. Twisted humor. Everyone keeps asking me where he's been for the past few weeks and all I can do is smile and say "I don't know". Oh well. Chris didn't take me seriously when I told him that if I couldn't have him, no one would but I guess he does now. Hehehe.
I placed a rose on his grave last night and told him I loved him, then blew him a kiss goodnight and went off to bed. Every now and then I'll get the desire to dig him up and perform random acts of necrophilia on his decaying corpse but I haven't had the time lately......or the tools to do it. The night I killed him, I had invited him over for dinner. We ate in candlelight; Chris always loved to eat.....and I had pointed out that the wyne I had served with his meal was poisoned but I suppose he didn't believe me because he simply smiled and finished his glass in one gulp. Then he dropped dead to the floor, his veins pulsing with the lethal dosage of arsenick. Silly Chris who never took things seriously. Well, I suppose that served as a good characteristic on my part, don't you agree?
Anyhow, after he fell dead, I finished my meal and drug his lifeless body into my bedroom and into my bed, so I could spend one last night with him before the tedious task of burial was performed the next morning. I slept well and I'm sure he did too. More twisted humor. I kissed him goodbye one last time and covered him with the dirt, smiling to myself the whole time. Now Chris belonged to me and ONLY me.
I felt special.
I loved Chris and when I discovered that he didn't WANT to commit to me, well, I MADE him, and no one knows. I talk to him all the time and he talks back to me.....I hear his voice in my mind and I think he's happy to be where he is. I treat him very nicely. Everyday I sit upon his grave and sing to him and talk to him and everynight I leave him a rose and say goodnight. He appreciates this.
However, right now I think Chris is mad at me. You see, I think I have fallen in love with someone new and Chris knows. He scolded me. This new person's name is Steven and you know what? I don't think he wants to commit. I think I'm going to invite Steven over for dinner next Saturday. Maybe he'll have a sudden change of heart......
