"I've always followed my fathers advice. He told me, first, to keep my word, and second, to never unsult anybody unintentionally. If, I insult you, you can be Goddamn sure I intended to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble." ~John Wayne~
"Always forgive your enemys; nothing annoys them so much." ~Oscar Wilde~
"If A equals seccess, the formula is A equlas X plus Y plus Z, X is work, Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut." ~Albert Einstein~ April 18, 1995
"A flashlight is what you carry dead batteries in."
"Babies don't need the traditional slap on the rear end when they are botn. But at least it gives them a good idea of what life is going to be like."
"Don't be afraid to talk to yourself, it's the only way you can be sure somebody's listening." ~Franklin P. Jones~
"Before decided to retire, stay home for a week and watch the day time TV shows." ~Bill Copeland~
"The trouble with being a good sport is that you hvae to lose to prove it."
"Always be tolerant with those who disagree with you. After all they have the perfect right to their ridiculous opinions."
"Hell, there are no rules here. -- We're trying to accomplish something." ~Thomas A. Edison~
"Don't let people drive you crazy, when you know it's within walking distance."
"I'm not intending to imply insult or judgement here but I am curious to know in order to be able to respond to your posts in an appropriate manner, so please forgive what appears to be, but in fact is not intended as an insulting question: Are you stupid?" ~Melinda SHore~
"If everybody's thinking alike, somebody isn't thinking."
"Speak the truth, but leave immediately after." ~Slovenian Proverb~
"Those who think they know it all, are very anonying to those of us that do." ~Robert K. Mueller~
"Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason."
"Cheer up, things will get worse."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, someone else will."
"All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart."
"If you can't live without me, then why aren't you dead already?" ~Cynthia Heimol~
"You deserve a longer letter than this; but it is my unhappy fate seldom to reat people so well as they deserve." ~Jane Austen~
"Your silence on the subject of our ball makes me suppose your curiosity is too great for words." ~Jane Austen~
"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war." ~G.K. Chesterton~
"All true wisdom is found on t-shirts"
"Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people."
"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer." ~Anonymous~
"Better to have loved a short man, than never to have loved a tall." ~David Chambless~
"He who thinks by the inch, and talks by the yard, deserves to be kicked by the foot."
"Smile -- it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
"A great many open minds, should be closed for repair." ~Toledo Blade~
"May all who love the Lord, love you and those who don't love you, may the Lord give them a limp so you can see them coming." ~Irish Blessing~
"The touble with being punctual is nobody's there to appreciate it." ~Franklin P. Jones~
"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked." ~Ovid~
"You are not angry when you people when you laugh at them> Humor teaches toleracne." ~W Somerset Maugham~
"People can be divided into three groups: 1>Those who make things happen, 2> Those who watch things happen, 3> And those who wonder what's happening."
"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoulds. Then when you criticize him, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have his shoes."
"God must love stupid people, he made so many of them."
"If in doubt, make it sound convincing." ~Murphy's Law~
"Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said."
"When angry count to four; when very angry swear." ~Mark Twain~
"Forgive your enemis but never forget their names." ~John F. Kennedy~
"Never put off until tomorow what you can avoid altogether."
"If swimming is so good for your figure how do you explain whales?"
"LIfe is like a box of chocolates. It's full of nuts."
All I ask is you treat me no differently than you woult the Queen."
"I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"If you get kicked from behind, it is because you are out in front." ~R.E. Phillips~
"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and sings." ~Ed Gardner~
"Oh, how many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring." ~Colley Cibber~
"Marriage is a wonderful invention. But, then again, so is the bicycle repair kit." ~Billy Connolly~
"Jesus only told half the story. The truth will set you free. But first it's going to piss you off." ~Soloman Short~
"Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
"If you want to do something you will find a way. If you don't, you'll find
"Marriages are made in heave, but so is thunder and lightning."
"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal." ~Jane Austen~
"Every man is a fool for at least five minutes every day; Wisdom consists of not exceeding the limit." ~Elbert Hubbard~
"NEVER go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
