Things a Redneck NEEDS

Used pickup truck. I prefer CHEVY, but any brand will do. It must be jacked up so high you caint git in w'out gittin a ladder. You cin store the ladder in the bed of the truck.

One 4X6 (at least) Confederate flag. Mount this behind the gun rack or fly it in the back. You gotta be proud of yer heritige and not be afraid to tell everyone and his brother that yer SOUTHERN AND PROUD OF IT. (juss be shure not to fly the flag on yer truck in front of the school in which you belong and drive back and forth in order to get attention. Uhhh...long story.)

One belt buckle no smaller than a large pizza. This here is a MUST. The belt buckle is one of the easiest ways to tell everyone, "Hey y'all! Ima REDneck! Look at me! Bow down before me!" The best one's have places to engrave your name, but if yours is lacking this, you cin git it done on the back. Juss be shure to show everyone that you've done this. Example: friends, family, policemen, etc...

One camoflauge jacket. This are soooooo kewl. Be shure to git the right color tho, none of that brown crap. Go traditional, go green.

A variety of country music tapes. Be shure to include such greats as Garth Brooks, Alan Jackson, Bryan White, Joe Diffie, Clint Black, and Brooks & Dunn.

A closet full of Wrangler jeans. Tight. (but not so tight you caint breath or eat) Add a flannel shirt and a pair of Justin Ropers boots and you've got one dynomite outfit. As an added touch, I like to top it off with a baseball cap instead of a cowboy hat. Heck, we're rednecks, not hicks! Juss be shure yer cap has a fishin hook on the brim, and that the brim is well broken in. It shuld look like an upside down "U".

HOME