A

Adenoids: Space creatures wut be keepn' Elvis alive.
Anasthesia: Rushun Princex y'all studyed in skool.
Antacid: Haloosinagenic drugs used by littl' bugs.
Artery: Wut the plastik Jesus on yer dashbord is.
Asteroids:Ya git a suvere case of these wen ya sit too long.

B

Bard: verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
           usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
Bit: A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
Bowel: A alfebit letter, lyke A, E, I, O, or U.
Bronchitis: Dinosore frum the plascticscent age.
Byte: First word in a kiss-off phrase.

C

Carpal: The rank below sargent.
Cat Scan: Lookin' fur Hookers.
Cauterize: Makin' eye contact with a Hooker.
Cursor: What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.

D

D & C: Warshington- where the weerdos, purvurts, and kongress peepul leeve. (AKA: dustin' an' cleanin')
Digital control: What yore fingers do on the TV remote.

E

Enema: Sumon who ain't a friend

F

Fester: Yer unkle's name.
Floppy: When you run out of Polygrip.

G

Genital: Head of Army.
G.I. Series: Gomer Pyle, USMC.

H

Hard drive: Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
Hypodermic: Big fat zoo critter.

I

J

K

L

LAN: To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
Lung: Oppozit of short.

M

Modem: How you got rid of your dandelions.
Mouse: Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.

N

Network: Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.

P

Q

R

Reboot: What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
Recovery: Whar ya' fix up yer furnitchure
Rectum: Wut happenz wen ya' drive yer pikup drunk.
Renal: Wen ya' hafta pull it out an' nale it agin.
ROM: Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

S

Seizure: Empurur of that Italyan city.

T

Testicles: Books of the Bible. (AKA: myfological superhero)
Tumor: Number of beers ya' can drink after last call.

U

Urine: Oppozit of "yer out".

V

W

Windows: Places in the truck to hang your guns.

X

Xenobiotic: Life on 'nuther planet.
X-ray: Sumon who ain't called Raymond no more.

Y

Z