Tony Stark: Hello, Thorn, and welcome to World Wide Wrestling's first ever shoot interview.

Thorn: Hello- or should I say "Hoooaaaaaaaaaa!"

Tony Stark: Please don't. Anyway, you're considered one of WWW's first ever Superstars and an all-time great in many people's books. You are a two-time former World Heavyweight Champion and an all around loud wrestler. Furthermore, many would conclude that World Wide Wrestling would have never gotten its feet off of the ground without you. What do you say to that?

Thorn: Well, not to toot my own hoaaarn, or anything- but, yes, I would agree with that statement. I mean, back in those days, WWW had quite an assortment of talent- but you could tell that they lacked something. I brought something new to the table when I came in, though. I mean, WWW had wrestlers with a white t-shirt and tearaways with a hat, or a white t-shirt and tearaways with a jacket; but, I was the first wrestler to ever have a white t-shirt and tearaways with facepaint, you see? Fans had never seen someone who wore a white t-shirt and tearaways with some facepaint, let alone an entire facefull. Back in the day, something like that would have been considered absurd. But I pushed the envelope, ya' know? I paved the way for other facepaint wearing wrestlers like Gnu Dynasty or Project who would come along later.

Tony Stark: Well then. You were also a founding member of the nWo. Tell us a little bit about that.

Thorn: Well, when WWW was first founded, the business of wrestling, in general, was at a true peak. I mean, WWF was big. WCW was big. ECW was even big. And all of this was the way it was because everyone was being creative. So, WWW had to be creative, too- in order to hang with the competition. That's why we did the whole nWo thing. We were the first to rip off the nWo, and that was a new idea.

Tony Stark: Well, I've got to agree with you there. Speaking of blatently ripping off WCW, how did you come up with the idea of being a poor man's Sting?

Thorn: Whoa, Tony. Hold on a sec'. A lot of people might think that Sting and I are two of a kind- but that's not the case. Sure we have a lot in common: we're both fun lovin', face paintin' guys with loads of passion for the business and mic. skills out the wahoo, but it takes a lot more than that to assume that he ripped me off. We really do have a lot more that's different about us than we do in common. For instance, when he says "Whoo", I say "Hoaaa". Need I say more?

Tony Stark: Ahem, yes. I see. Well, after being swerved by... uh, I believe Disco, Scab and T-Rex, you were booted, or I supposed socked, out of the nWo. How did that feel?

Thorn: Let me tell ya' something, it eats me up inside every damn day, J.R..

Tony Stark: My name is Tony.

Thorn: Look, let me just say this- if you don't mind that I tear away from the interview. (To the non-existant camera) Disco, if you ever swerve me again- I'll getcha'. (Back to Tony) I'm sorry about that.

Tony Stark: As am I. Well, I can see that the nWo is a sensative subject for you, so we'll move ahead in your illustrious career. I see here that after the nWo, you went on to pursue a singles' career where you actually won The Heavyweight Championship Of The World- a title that you would soon drop to Assassin in a very predictable swerve that mirrored the one that took place on Nitro only days before. Tell us about that.

Thorn: Well, Tony. After those psychoes in the nWo phantom-kicked me to the curb, I had no choice but to dust my self off and change the color of my facepaint-

Tony Stark: -Naturally.

Thorn: This gave me inspiration like never before. I didn't bump for anybody, I "Hoaaa"ed like a madman, I even won The World Title- it was awesome. Everything was going great without the nWo in my life. That's why I did what I did.

Tony Stark: What? Join the nWo again?

Thorn: Exactly, Tony. Don't you see the genius here? Since the nWo kicked me out and I was more successful without them, that gave me the success that would make those guys like me again and take me back. And they did.

Tony Stark: Perhaps- but, less than a week later, the nWo swerved you again and kicked you out... again. Did you see that coming?

Thorn: No way, Tony! I mean, Hogan and Nash didn't do it- that's why I don't understand why Assassin did it?

Tony Stark: Well, I'm not Assassin, so I have no idea. But, what I do know is that your career pretty much died after your second "run" with the nWo. Why do you think that's so?

Thorn: Oh, I opted to take some time off after that. I wanted to pursue my movie career and everything, so-

Tony Stark: You were in movies? Like what?

Thorn: Mostly Boy Scout instructional videos, but I was the stunt double for the Dell kid in a couple of commercials, too.

Tony Stark: Interesting. You were a stunt double- yet, your bumps suck ass.

Thorn: That's what I said! But the guys at Dell had to have me... I don't know?

Tony Stark: So, what do you see in your future- where can we expect to see you in the next five years?

Thorn: Well, I turned in my application to WWE. I left it in Lilian Garcia's mailbox, but they haven't called me back yet, or anything. Maybe they lost it. Either way, if that doesn't work out, I'll probably come back to WWW as like a legend. I'll probably be the Champion, I guess. Maybe I'll get the ol' gang together for another nWo. Actually, I had this idea for WWW to split their roster in half and they can have like me and Hurricane and T-Rex and Whirlwind and a couple of the other guys on only "Slam!", while the other guys will be on only "Monday Madness". That'd be bad 'beep'!

Tony Stark: I see. Well, Thorn, it's been real... unique talking to you today. I wish you all of the luck in the world.

Thorn: Thanks. Hey, by the way, where's Scott Summers been?

Tony Stark: Well, this concludes WWW's first and last shoot interview. Thank you and good night.

Thorn: Tony? What about Bruce Banner- where's he been?

Tony Stark: (Silence).

Thorn: Oh, well. "Hoooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" "Hoooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" "Hoooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"