Tony Stark: Well, uh... this is... embarrassing, but while scouting for talent here at Spring Creek Elementary, I ran into former World Wide Wrestling Superstar-

Whirlwind: -Former?

Tony Stark: Oooh- this is awkward. I'm sorry, Mr. Wind. Did nobody tell you?

Whirlwind: This hurts, Bruce. After all I've-

Tony Stark: -Uh, I'm actually Tony Stark- not Bruce Banner. He died of AIDS in early 2000.

Whirlwind: (*Sigh*) It just keeps getting worse.

Tony Stark: Right. (Uncomfortable pause) Well, anyway, while scouting for talent here at Spring Creek Elementary, I ran into former World Wide Wrestling Superstar Whirlwind in the Principal's office. Seeing as how I have to wait for the fifth graders to get back from a field trip to start talking contracts, I figured I may as well conduct World Wide Wrestling's second ever shoot interview.

Whirlwind: Well, I'm glad you chose me.

Tony Stark: I don't know if "chose" is exactly the word...

Whirlwind: It's great to be here.

Tony Stark: In the Principal's office?

Whirlwind: Yeah. Ya' know, I just flew in. Boy, is my bedsheet tired.

Tony Stark: You're a comedian, I see.

Whirlwind: Yeah- pretty much. Mrs. Fields says that I'm the class clown. That's why I'm here.

Tony Stark: Where? In the Principal's office or in this depressing state?

Whirlwind: Both, really.

Tony Stark: I see. Well, let's talk about your "career". You were originally brought in to World Wide Wrestling as a member of then-owner Creation's stable. Did you guys have a name for that group?

Whirlwind: Officially- no. But I think we played with the idea of calling ourselves the Horsemen.

Tony Stark: Naturally. And speaking of blatantly ripping-off WCW, you were actually one of the few wrestlers in WWW at the time who was not a cheapened version of an actual professional wrestler. Critics (and myself) would say, though, that the reason for this is that even WCW (who, at the time, was promoting characters such as The Dog, The Machine, MVP and Disorderly Conduct, to name a few) would not have such an unappealing "character" as yours. What say you?

Whirlwind: I don't understand what is so unappealing about my character.

Tony Stark: Well, most noticably, your entrance music was 'Turn! Turn! Turn!' by the Byrds.

Whirlwind: Yeah- but don't you understand what that song is all about? It has meaning.

Tony Stark: I thought you just chose it because of the "turning" pun.

Whirlwind: Well, I did. But, there is meaning to the song. It is about changing and growing as a person.

Tony Stark: Yet, as you sit here almost naked in an elementary school 7 years later, your character has seen no progression.

Whirlwind: Yeah... but I have grown two and a half feet taller.

Tony Stark: Touché. But that still doesn't answer the real question: why did World Wide Wrestling hire you?

Whirlwind: You make it sound as if I were just living in the downstairs area of the World Wide Wrestling arena and that I must have just been a character who was thrown together because no one else was available.

Tony Stark: Pretty much.

Whirlwind: Well, you're wrong Mr. Rhodes. WWW wanted me. Creation wanted me. I was just the kind of talent he was looking for. I was a pre-pubescent schoolboy who could fly, was cut, brought his own bedsheet and had mic. skills comparable to his own.

Tony Stark: I can't argue with that. But, speaking of Creation's love of small boys, didn't you have a hand in the Ant and Gnat "talent"-exchange deal?

Whirlwind: Yeah. Canadian Cannonball and I had worked together on a flumeball deal up in "Canada" (Utah) and I had the opportunity to meet his family in the process. Of course, Ant and Gnat are his brothers and, when I saw them, I knew they would be perfect.

Tony Stark: Well, they out-worked you. What ever happened to them, by the way?

Whirlwind: They had a good thing going with WWW, but they had to quit as Y2K drew nearer.

Tony Stark: And you followed suit?

Whirlwind: No. I've just been taking some time off to re-package the whole "Whirlwind" gimmick.

Tony Stark: In other words, you just got the third nipple removed?

Whirlwind: Exactly.

Tony Stark: Well, the fifth graders are back now and I'm sure you've got some popsicles to eat or something. I'll give you the last word.

Whirlwind: (Turning in circles) "Whooosh, whooosh, whooosh!"

Tony Stark: You're blown-up, aren't you?

Whirlwind: Winded, actually.