"INTERGALACIC DIARY (THE LOVE JOURNAL OF SAMUS ARAN)"
VERSION B: THE OTHER DIMENSION OF ZEBES
(C. DeCracken)
[guest vocalist: Enya]
Great men I’ve held by my side
but to none was I a bride
My name invokes terror in the domain of enemies
“Samus Aran, Samus Aran,” galactic hunter of metroids and X virus
but where is my love?
Mario
How I love short, greasy Italians
He was so cute and could always make me laugh
But alas he loved another, a princess even
I wish them well with their love
And then there was Simon, of the Belmont Bloodline
noble and honorable, so fascinated by my every little electronic thing
I felt like some ancient goddess, enlightening my elect of hidden secrets from my world
He never bathed nor heard of soap, yet I loved him anyway
But alas he was devoted to the blood-vengeance art of justice of killing sinister creatures
and he wanted to be a priest
Such sacred robes rarely match and befall such a man
I enlisted for further missions to continually save the universe and rid abomination
After a thousand kills, I searched again for love
Then there was Shinobi, but he came from the Sega sector
I have never met someone who is so selfish and so childish
He had nothing interesting to say, and he ripped off all of my one-liners
What a jerk
I searched the skies and manifested the obliteration of evil doers
The guilty beneath rapid fire scorn “Samus Aran, Samus Aran”
Is there one who’ll call my name with love?
There will be one who calls me his consort
Finally, I found Ash
How could you not respect a man who fought the undead and survived?
Supreme quick wit and slick words won me over
His paranoia and hysteria became a cute joke
And his easily defeated antagonism I simply threatened with ready laser
[m.b. Army of Darkness] “Oh no!”
Past loves were often wed to royalty, but in my own way, I am queen
[m.b. Army of Darkness] “In my own way, I am king”
Hail to the queen, baby
[m.b. Army of Darkness] “Hail to the King, baby”
Beware our awesome force; now there’s two of us
Life is like a nintendo game
You have 3 lives, but I know where the 1-up’s are
stage completed/ game start/ high score/ next level/ game over/ end bonus/ warp to 8
Back to Thank Goodness I Saved You
