I sat with my eyes fixed on the water. The waves crashed up on the beach…reaching towards me. I was so relaxed…but at the same time feeling nervous that Nick would never show up. I decided to just sit and watch the passing boats and the waves.
The breeze lightly touched my face and I was comforted by it. I felt at peace. I just knew in my heart that I was doing the right thing.
A shadow was cast over me as a figure walked up from behind me. I was soon comforted by muscular arms as they reached around me. I felt protected by the man sitting behind me. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, hoping that this wasn't all a dream. After a few moments the arms let me go, and the figure stood up behind me. I quickly turned and looked up. It was him….he had kept his promise!
I lept up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Nick! Oh God, Nick, it is you!" Tears were pouring from my eyes as I looked into his. Seeing my tears…he began to weep uncontrollably. He wrapped his arms around my waist…and he kissed me. It was a feeling that I had longed to have. We held our kiss for what seemed like minutes. joy washed over me as he pulled back.
"Oh Heather, I have wanted that for so long. I have wanted you since the moment I walked away. How can you every forgive me? I am so…"
"Shhh, don't say it. Just hold me." I interrupted him. "I just want to be with you. I love you. I was so wrong, I have never stopped thinking about that day when you left. I have missed you. Don't say you are sorry. It isn't your fault. It is all mine." I rambled. I knew that I probably didn't make much sense. I thought I had it all planned. I thought I knew the right words to say, but I just blurted out random words.
Nick held me tight in his arms. Then he pushed me back and looked at me. "Heather, you are looking thinner. Forgive me for saying, but you look like you have been sick. Are you okay?" he said hoping he had not hurt my feelings.
"Nick, I…I…" I started to cry uncontrollably. He just looked at me…trying to comprehend what had happened to me.
"Shh, it's okay. You will be fine. We will be fine. I know in my heart that this is right. I will take care of you. And I will never let you go." he whispered to me.
I looked deep into his eyes. I had to look into his soul, to know if this was the right thing. I felt nothing but sincerity and passion in him. He was pouring out his soul to me…and I knew then that this was love. I just couldn't keep my actions from him. I promised to myself that I would never hurt him again, and lying to him was wrong. I started telling him about what had happened in the last month.
"Nick, when you walked away…I instantly knew I was the one to blame. I never knew how much I had hurt others…I was always more concerned with myself. I never stopped to think of others feelings. After you left, I didn't care about life. I locked myself up, I hid from everything and everyone. I hated myself." I spoke.
Nick took a deep breath and listened intently.
"I haven't slept in weeks, I haven't eaten. I even lost my job…" my voice trailed off. "and I have no one and nowhere to stay." I was completely ashamed of myself. I was so afraid to look at him.
I felt his soft hand touch my cheek, and a shiver ran down my spine. "Heather, I love you. You needn't worry about any of that. I will take care of you. I will love you and give you everything you want in life." he spoke softly.
"Nick, I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to be loved by you. You have such a kind heart, and you give everything you have to others. I could never deserve you." I finished. But then a thought came to my mind. "Nick, why didn't you ever tell me who you really were? Why did you and the guys never be honest with me?"
He turned away, ashamed for lying to me. "Oh baby, I am so sorry that you had to find out like you did. I was so happy that you loved me for who I was. I had never met a girl that wasn't in love or rather, lust, with me because I was a BackStreet Boy. I knew you didn't know about my career and I knew that our love was genuine. I had never felt so happy in my life. And the more I was happy, the less I wanted to tell you." he finished, tears streaming down his cheeks.
I was so captured by what he was saying that I had totally forgotten about the anger I had felt. "I forgive you." I said softly.
"I know that you will never forgive me Heather…and I don't blame you." he kept saying. "You are the love of my life and I never want you to forget that…but I understand if you can't…WHAT? Did you say you forgive me?" He looked puzzled.
"Actually, Nick, I had a feeling like something was going on. Remember how I kept telling you how you looked familiar but I couldn't picture it? Well, I saw a pic of you on your dresser, the one with all the guys. You are all dressed alike…and in the corner, there was a little symbol. "BSB forever" was written in pen very small. I thought nothing of it…and that is when I went into the bath. It wasn't until the other night when I saw the interview that it all fell into place." I was so relieved to tell him. "I love you…not your career, and not your money or fame or popularity…or your face…or your body…or…" I just kept rambling.
"You don't like my face and my body???" He asked with a sad expression on his face.
"THAT isn't what I meant! I meant that I love you for you…and I love everything about you. I didn't fall in love with you because your body was plastered all over tv or on teenie bopper magazines! You are the most gorgeous man I know…and don't forget that!" I said as I smacked him on the shoulder.
He grabbed me and pulled me closer to him and our bodies slowly dropped to the sand. He let my hair down and ran his fingers through it. Our bodies were intertwined with each other's. I could feel his body pressing closer to mine.
I whispered into his ear…"Nick, let's go back to your place, please."
"No, let's go back to OUR place…" he corrected me.
I blushed and just nodded my head. He picked me up and carried me over to the boardwalk. As we walked back towards his place, we passed the Clam Bake, and Lucy just smiled and nodded at me. She knew that things had gone well and she was happy.
****
We arrived at Nick's house after a short walk. We walked in complete silence…just taking in the moment. As we approached his front door, he took me by the hands and looked deep into my gray eyes and said, "My love, we are home."
As we entered, he picked me up in his arms…and then kicked the door shut. He carried me down the hall, down to his room. He looked at me and with a smile…he laid me down on his bed ever so gently. I could feel my heart race and my cheeks blushed.
I pulled him closer…and he laid down next to me. He turned on his side to face me…and just then I knew what I had to tell him.
I softly began to sing the words to the most beautiful song that I knew…
"Once in a lifetime, you find that someone else, who knows you better than you even know yourself. You're that connection, that makes my heart complete, and keeps my soul in balance, you are my harmony."
Tears formed in his eyes…he was completely touched by the words…and he then leaned down to kiss me. Our lips met in a soft and gentle kiss. He moved down and started to gently nibble on my neck. Goosebumps formed over my entire body. I let out a soft moan as I felt his hand start to carefully untuck my shirt.
"Nick." I whispered. "Nick…"
He pulled back and looked at me. "Yes…what is wrong hon?"
"Nothing, nothing at all…I love you." I whispered.
"I love you with all my heart and soul, Heather. I never want to let go of this moment. I want you…I want to feel you close to me…I want you to know how much I love you." he said.
I was overwhelmed by his words and small tears formed in my eyes. He stood up and pulled me up to him. A tingle ran through my spine as he slowly removed my shirt…and I let out a sigh. I started to unbutton his shirt…and soon that was discarded on the floor. He pulled me close to him. I could feel his body against mine. He lowered me down onto the soft satin sheets…as he kissed my stomach. He slipped his hands behind my back to remove my lace bra as he gazed at my body in front of him. I could see a slight grin on his face as he looked down at me.
He leaned down to caress my breasts with his tongue…being ever so gentle. I could feel the warmth of his body on mine. I could feel my cheeks warm slightly as I blushed. I had always wanted this…and this was our moment…nothing could stop us. He stood up and slowly removed his clothing and then helped me do the same. We stood for a moment just looking at each other. There was no embarrassment, no wrong feelings. Everything was so perfect. We lowered onto the bed, exploring each other's bodies. He moved his hands over my body until he reached the spot he wanted. He could feel how wet I was and he caressed me. He placed his fingers inside me as I moaned slightly. I felt no worries in the world…all I knew was that I must have been in heaven.
I couldn't stand it any longer. Slightly embarrassed, I whispered
into his ear…"Make love to me, please,…I want you Nick…" my voice trailed
off as he rolled over. He motioned me towards him and then he helped
lower me onto him. All I could feel was shear excitement as our bodies
became intertwined with each other. The rocking motion of our bodies
matched perfectly and we soon met our climax together. We both laid
there for a brief moment. Then he leaned over, kissed me and then
held me in his arms for the rest of the night…
Just before I dozed off…I thought about how I wanted nothing more than
to stay like this forever…to wake up next to him, to feel his body next
to mine…and to feel this happiness that no one else could ever give me.