Chapter 33
Two full days had passed before I reached stable condition. Although, out of some miracle, I had gotten through the worst, there was still a long road ahead. I had been moved to a private room with security. Mike was also outside the room at all times, just in case anything should happen. Nick had told the rest of the guys to go on ahead with the tour. He didn't want to disappoint the fans. However, he was not going to leave my side. There was nothing that the guys could do but sit around, so Nick thought it was best that they kept their schedule. The guys would call every couple of hours to talk to Nick, trying to comfort him.
Nick never left my side for more than a few minutes at a time. He wanted to be there when I opened my eyes. The doctors all felt that I would pull through, without many long term effects.
Nick sat there, singing our song over and over again. He knew that if I could hear him, I would respond to our song. Just before he was about to give up, he looked at me and noticed that my eyes started to flutter. After several minutes, I slowly opened my eyes, and saw nothing other than his beautiful blue eyes.
"Nurse! She is waking up." Nick called out.
The nurse came over and checked me over, and felt that things were looking much better. My vital signs were strong, and she asked for the doctor to come and check me.
I turned my head slowly and tried to speak to Nick. However, the respirator tube in my throat didn't allow for me to say anything. I was trying so hard say something, but all that came out were slight gurgles.
"Hon, don't try to talk. You have a tube in your throat. Do you know where you are?" Nick said softly.
I shook my head, knowing full well where I was. I looked around the room and saw bouquets of flowers and balloons. Stuffed animals lined the walls. I was very overwhelmed. Suddenly, I began to panic as scenes from the incident flashed through my mind. My eyes grew wider and my heartbeat was racing.
"Heather, sweetie, it's okay, I am here. It’s okay." Nick said, trying to comfort me.
Dr. Hernandez finally arrived and determined that I could come off the respirator. He told Nick to step back and give them room.
"Now Heather, on the count of three, I need you to breathe out as hard as you can, okay?" Dr. Hernandez instructed me. "One, two, three."
As I breathed out, I choked on the tube as Dr. Hernandez pulled it out of my throat. I began to cough uncontrollably. Finally, I was at ease, and tried to muster all the voice I could to tell Nick something.
"Nick…" I whispered weakly. "I know who it was." I finished, closing my eyes.
"Don't try to talk hon. Give it time. Just rest now. You don't have to talk about anything. Please, just relax." he said, as he stood up. He was concerned. He could see the fear and pain in my eyes, but didn't know what to do. He wanted to know who it was, but at the same time, he wanted me to just rest. That is what I needed the most.
Nick sat quietly while I rested. The medication that the hospital had given me was making me sleepy. Nick wanted to talk to me, he had so many questions, but he knew it wasn't the right time. He decided that when I woke up, he would just ask one thing.
*****
After a few hours of restful sleep, I awoke to find Nick asleep in the chair next to me. A nurse had come in and put a blanket over him, and then pulled the curtain shut. I whispered his name and immediately he awoke and jumped up.
"It's okay, sweetie, I am here. I am here. How are you feeling?" Nick said softly.
"I feel very tired, but a bit better. I just wish I wasn't in so much pain. It even hurts to breathe." I said with a raspy voice.
Nick just squeezed my hand and then gave me a kiss on the forehead. I saw a tear run down his cheek.
"Nick, are you okay? Oh honey, I will be okay, honest. I just look bad, that's all." I said quietly, trying to reassure him.
"I feel so guilty. If I had been there, none of this would have happened to you. It's all my fault. Can you ever forgive me for not being there?" he asked, tears pouring down his cheeks.
"Nickolas, dear, listen to me. You were working. It is not your fault that this happened. Nobody knew this would happen. There is nothing to forgive you for. Please, please don’t feel like this is your fault. You are hear now, and that is all that matters." I whispered.
Then Nick looked at me. I could see the pain and hurt in his eyes. "Heather? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked softly.
I looked deeply into his eyes. "I didn't know how to tell you. I wasn't a 100% sure, and I didn't want to bother you." I tried to tell him, in a raspy voice.
"No matter what, you knew I would be there for you." Nick said, feeling hurt.
I suddenly thought about it and it dawned on me that no one had told me if I had lost the baby. "I didn't lose the baby did I?" I asked, full of fear and sadness.
"Oh Heather, no. The baby is well and looks good. They did an ultrasound earlier today and said it looks good. I just wish you had told me that you were already 3 months pregnant. I would have been here for you. I would never have left you alone in that house. Oh God, I am so sorry." Nick said sadly, starting to cry.
I reached my hand out to him and he took it in his. He gently stroked my hand, and then told me,
"Heather, you will get better soon, and then you will stay with me. The baby and you need somewhere safe, and, I don't want you alone. You need to take good care of yourself, and our child to be. I love you, and our son or daughter, which ever it may be, and I will never let anything hurt you again."
I couldn't hold back the tears. I knew that he loved the thought of having children, however, it was now going to be a big change in both of our lives. Nick was at the peak of his career and well, to be honest, we weren't even married yet!
The tears poured down my face, and suddenly I felt a searing pain. The salty tears were running into the wound on my face. I winced and it suddenly all started to come back to me. I reached up to touch my face and realized the severity of my wound.
"Oh God Nick, what did he do to me?!!" I screamed. "I…I…must look like a monster! God no!!"
"Heather, Heather, please, honey, it's okay. Don't you worry, you look good. I promise, it doesn't matter what it looks like, it doesn't matter to me." he tried to reassure me.
"How bad will it scar Nick? Please be honest." I told him bluntly.
"I don't know sweetie. Dr, Hernandez hasn't talked to me about it." Nick seemed concerned. "But whatever it takes, we will make you all better. I will get the best people to help you. I promise. And, listen, no matter what, I will never leave you again, and I will be here for you."
All I could do was sigh. Nick was the most wonderful man I knew. I thought that once he heard that there was baby, he would feel trapped and try to leave, but he didn't. Then, I thought that he would turn away from me when he saw my face, but he didn't. He never left me, in fact, it only made him love me more.
After a brief moment, I asked, "Where is everyone?"
"I told them to go and do the shows. I didn't want them moping around here like me. I figured it would be good for them, and for me." Nick said, feeling guilty.
"Oh good. I was hoping that they didn't cancel the performances just to sit in the hospital. I promise, I will get better soon, so that you can back to the show soon too." I said sincerely.
"Heather, you take all the time you need. Everyone has been very supportive. No one is upset cuz I am gone, in fact, you have no idea how many flowers and balloons and stuffed animals have arrived, especially from the fans. They had to put them in a room next door." he laughed.
It brought a smile to my face. After a while, I told Nick to go
and get something to eat. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping
or eating because of this, so I ordered him to go while I slept for a while.
He reluctantly left, telling me that it would only be for a few minutes.