Chapter 36
Nick and the rest of the guys had to get back to the show. Dee and Nick's parents took turns staying with me until Nick came home. We would spend every night planning the wedding. Afterall, it was only a few weeks away. The theme was set for the holidays, and it was to be a fairytale wedding. I wanted it all to be perfect. Nick had allowed me to make as many of the decisions as possible, since he would be away most of the time. The only thing he insisted on was having some sort of green in the ceremony or reception.
I thought it was a good idea, afterall, it fell right at Christmas and what better time to include green in the service? I would call Nick frequently to ask him his opinion on things. He always told me that whatever I decided would be fine for him. I always laughed and told him, "Nick, if I decided to paint my hair purple and then wear a hippy dress, would you still marry me?"
And then he would always tell me in return, "I would marry you no matter what you looked like and what you wore." With that, I always giggled.
*****
I always thought about how Nick said it didn't matter what I looked like. The scar on my face was something that would never let me forget that night. I would sit at my vanity and stare into the mirror. I was horrified at the site. How could Nick love someone who looked like this? The cut, while altogether healed, left a terrible scar that ran from the right side of my lower lip all the way across my cheek to my right ear.
As I looked at myself, I began to worry about what people would say. Although the fans had been very supportive of Nick and I, the media would most likely make a mockery of the whole scene. I knew that no matter how hard I tried to keep the wedding a secret (at least the location that is), the press would somehow find a way to get there. I was terrified that the cameras would catch a glimpse of me like this. I don't know why I was so self-conscious about it, but I honestly was. I was not normally so vain about things, but for some reason, the thought of having that scar on me, made me feel so ugly.
My child, once grown, would want to know how mommy got that scar, and I would have to remember that fateful night. I couldn't bring myself to believing that it was okay. Our wedding was to be perfect, and this one small detail was bringing me down.
I decided to call Nick. I had to see him. No matter what, I was going to get to where he was and just talk to him.
"Nick, please hon, I really need to see you. I think we need to talk." I said, sounding concerned.
"Baby, what is wrong? Are you feeling okay? Are you just getting wedding jitters? Did I do something? Is it the baby?" Nick asked, very worried.
"Oh sweetie, don't worry, I love you, I am feeling okay, the baby is fine, and well, yes, I am having wedding jitters." I responded.
"You don't want to marry me anymore??" Nick asked, now even more concerned.
"No, no…that's not the problem. It is me. I need to look you in the eyes and know how you really feel. Please, I just need to come and see you. I miss you so much and I really want to be with you." I pleaded.
"Okay, anything for you Heather. I will have you on the first plane tomorrow morning. Mike will escort you, okay? Just be at the airport by 7:30 am. I will take care of everything." Nick directed me.
"I will see you tomorrow then. I love you, don't you ever forget that." I whispered into the phone.
"I love you too Heather. Sweet dreams baby." Nick said and then hung up.
I walked towards Dee's make-shift room. I had helped her move into one of the four bedrooms, so that she could stay here comfortably.
"Dee, I need a few days off, please. I need to go and see Nick. We need to work out a few things for the wedding. Is that okay?" I asked politely.
"Of course it is Heather. You take all the time you need. I will cover the store until you get back. I have plans to see Kevin next week, so, I think everything will be fine." she replied.
"THANK YOU! You have no idea how much I need to see him. I think my emotions are on a rollercoaster ride here. I mean, I am only four months along, but, I feel like I am on the verge of crying all the time. It is so weird." I told her.
"You just go and be with Nick. You both need each other very much, and I just want to see you happy. You are my best friend, and your happiness is very important. Plus, that gives me a few days to design your dress without you seeing it." she winked and giggled.
I gave her a huge hug and then said goodnight to her. I wandered to my room and started going through the closet, trying to look for something sexy to wear for Nick; but I had no luck. I suddenly started to realize that I was quickly growing out my regular clothes. I panicked, realizing that the only things that actually fit me were sweat pants and sweatshirts.
"What am I going to wear??? I have a loose fitting dress that I could wear with a sweater over it. Yeah, that's it. That will work. I will just have to go and get some things when I get to Lexington." I said out loud to myself.
Not only was I going to see Nick, but I was going to meet Brian and Kevin's extended family. I wanted to look good, and sweats and t-shirts were not the way to go.
I finally gave up, just putting a few items in a bag and went to sleep.
Tomorrow was going to be a good day, but only if I got some sleep.
I climbed into bed, softly singing one of Nick's songs, "I need you tonight,
I need you right now…" I finally fell asleep, dreaming about Nick and our
wedding.