Chapter 81
“Heather, hon, don’t forget, we have to go to the hospital today to do the blood work and other tests prior to your surgery. We have to leave in about half an hour.” Nick yelled down the hallway.
“Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten. I will be ready in a few. Have you fed Katie Lynne yet?” I replied.
“Yep, she is ready to go. I got her dressed in her pink pj’s. Is that okay?” he hollered back.
“The one’s with the little hearts on it?? Yeah, that is fine. Make sure that we have enough diapers and wipes in the bag, would ya babe?” I asked back.
“I am one step ahead of ya Heather. Me and Katie will just sit here and watch Tarzan or something while you finish getting ready.” he answered.
“That’s fine. Umm, Nick, after we are done at the hospital, would you mind if I went and ran an errand. Alone?” I asked as I walked down the hallway, putting my hair up into a ponytail.
“No hon, where do you need to go? I will take you.” Nick offered.
“Nick, sweetheart, this is something I need to do alone. I hope you understand. I just need about an hour and a half to do something very important. Please, I hope you understand.” I said softly.
“I understand, I just wish I could be there for you. I know that life is difficult for you right now, but baby, listen, everything is going to be all right. I just know it.” Nick said with a smile.
I looked at him thoughtfully and wondered how I could have found someone so sweet, caring, and understanding. He had so much faith and hope that he never seemed to let the bad things in life bother him. He and I had a talk several nights before, preparing him in the event that the surgery didn’t go well. He knew that there was less than a 50% chance that I would pull through the cancer treatments without difficulty. He also understood that my chances of survival was slim too. I knew that fear and hurt filled him all the time, but he tried to remain strong all the while. He never ceased to amaze me with his unbelievable strength.
“I sure hope it will be Nick. I hate to see you suffer because of me.” I said with tears filling my eyes.
“I just know you will be fine.” he said as he held me tight. It wasn’t until Katie started fussing that we stopped hugging.
“Oh Katie honey, it’s okay. Mommy and Daddy are here.” he said as he lifted her and held her gently in his arms.
He walked around the house singing to her as I continued to get ready. Within a few minutes we were placing Katie into her car seat and we were off to the hospital.
*** *** ***
“Now, just lie back and relax while we look over your x-rays and stuff Mrs. Carter.” the technician said.
Nick and I sat in the examine room for about 15 minutes until Dr. Christine and Dr. Sigapeli came in.
“Heather, this is Dr. Sigapeli. He will be performing the mastectomy. But, after looking at the x-rays, it looks like the cancer has spread even further. We won’t be able to tell exactly until we do the surgery. What I need from you now, Mrs. Carter, is consent to take out more tissue if necessary during the surgery. Is that okay?” Dr. Sigapeli asked gently.
“Yes, I suppose I have no other options, do I?” I asked fearfully.
“Unfortunately, no.” he answered.
Nick and I looked at each other and realized that this was far more serious than we ever imagined. Nick suddenly had a look of fright across his face. “Dr. Sigapeli, will she ummm, get better?” he asked.
“It is hard to say right now Mr. Carter. Your condition, Mrs. Carter, is grave. It unfortunately doesn’t look good at the moment. However, we will not know much until we do the surgery and see if we can get all the cancerous cells. After the surgery, we will then do chemotherapy to try and eliminate the rest of the cells. That is the best I can offer you.” he answered as honestly as he could.
“Well, then, let’s get this over with. What time is the surgery?” I asked.
“It will be Friday, May 26, that gives us a week to get back the blood work and the rest of the results. You need to be here at 5:30 am for check in. We will take you to in-patient surgery holding and then get you ready there. Mr. Carter, we will provide you with a private room if you need us to. We want to keep this as low key as possible. Not to be mean, but we don’t want a slew of girls outside holding vigil in the parking lot. And, we will provide security for you and your daughter while Mrs. Carter is in surgery.” Dr. Sigapeli said as he tried to give us as much information as possible.
“We will be here right on time.” Nick said.
“If you have any questions, please call me. I will be available to you both at any time.” Dr. Sigapeli said and then excused himself.
Dr. Christine stayed for a few minutes, offering any advice and help that she could. She knew that the hopes of recovering weren’t good, and hated to see us so sad. “Heather, don’t worry. Dr. Sigapeli is one of the top specialist in cancer on the east coast. He will help you and do everything possible to eliminate the cancer. I have faith, and so should you.” she said as she smiled at us both, looked at Katie one more time and then left.
Nick, Katie Lynne and I decided to just go back home and relax for a bit. Nick wanted to call the guys and give them the details and ask them over for dinner. “Heather, do you mind if the guys come for dinner tonight? I will order Chinese food and whatever else you want. I just want the six of us to hang out tonight. How about that?” He offered.
“That sounds nice babe. Just like good old times, that really weren’t that far away.” I said with a smile.
“And Heather, we will have a great evening, and I won’t let them ask or mention anything about the surgery. It will be a night to just have fun and enjoy life. Okay?” he then finished.
“Sound wonderful!” I said and then went to get my car keys. “Nick hon, I am going to go and run that errand now. I should be back in about two hours, so don’t worry. I promise I will call when I am done and on my way here.” I said as I leaned down and kissed him passionately.
Nick was taken back by the kiss and smiled brightly. “Wow, we need to continue that tonight after the guys leave.” he winked and then kissed me again.
I laughed and then said goodbye to Katie Lynne and left.
*** *** ***
“But Mr. Ellis, I don’t want Nick to know about this until afterwards. Please.” I begged.
“Fine then, well, we better hurry and get this done. Are you sure about everything and have your presentation ready?” he asked, kind of annoyed.
“Yes sure, I do. Now, let’s get this done before I change my mind.” I finished.
Mr. Ellis pulled out the tri-pod and video camera and set it up. He pulled out a new video cassette and placed it into the camera. “I am ready now Mrs. Carter. Whenever you want, just start to speak.” he said.
I then began to smile and speak into the camera. “Dearest Nickolas, Kathryn Lynne, and all my lovely friends…”
*** *** ***
Nick sat around with Katie who was becoming a tad bit restless. Katie was now about a month and a half old, and was doing remarkably well for a premature baby. She had already doubled in size in under a short amount of time, and remarkably, didn’t wake up fifteen times a night. Dr. Christine said that some babies were just good that way and we should feel lucky. She had absolutely no ill side effects from being born early, and there was no sign that my cancer had affected her either.
“Now Katie, your daddy is going to watch Tarzan. You ought to watch it too.” he said with a smile as he looked down at her.
She was so small, and fit easily along the length of his forearm. Her head was like the size of an orange and her entire body could fit within the space between his wrist and his elbow. He very carefully wrapped a small blanket around her and then sat back to watch the movie.
“Tarzan? Well, alright, he’s your baby.” Nick heard the small gorilla say in the movie. He laughed as he continued to watch. He especially liked the part where the mommy gorilla sang the song, “You’ll Be In My Heart.” he sat as sang along with the movie as Katie Lynne slept in his arms.
After about 2 hours had passed, I walked in the front door. Nick sat motionless as he watched the end of the movie. He was afraid to get up, for Katie was sleeping soundly, and he didn’t want to wake her.
“I’m home Nick. Did you miss me?” I said as I bounced into the living room. Once I approached, I could see that he was watching the end of the movie. “Oh, I am sorry.” I said softly as I leaned over to kiss him.
“This is such a sweet movie. I can’t wait til Katie is big enough to watch it with us.” he said. “And the music, for a Disney flick, is pretty good.”
“Yup, and when she is all bigger, she can sit and sing along with you. Maybe she will be part of your group.” I said.
“That is possible. Two Carter’s in this music business already, and look, we now will have a third.” he said proudly.
“Well, what time are the guys coming over? I will order the food so that it arrives shortly after they get here.” I said looking for the phone book.
“They will be here in about an hour.” Nick replied as he got up to put Katie in her crib.
“Then I will call in the order now. Since it’s Friday evening, it will take about an hour or so before it will get here anyway.” I said dialing the number.
An hour later, the guys had arrived and the food came shortly after. We all sat around, gossiping and chatting, and then we decided to watch the movie The Sixth Sense. Once the movie was done, I hugged everyone goodbye and then we decided to turn in for a good night’s sleep.
While Nick was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed, I pulled out the journal, as I always had. I had decided to write a daily entry for Nick and Katie everyday until I couldn’t any longer.
“Dearest Nickolas and Kathryn Lynne,
Today was a long day, and an eventful one. Today, Dr. Sigapeli told me that my cancer had spread, and that it was getting worse. I am scared about it all, but I am feeling okay. For some reason, there is a strong peace over me that keeps me from being sad any longer. I know that my life has been good all this time. I have never regretted the decisions I have made all this time. Just remember I love you both with all my heart. And, that even if I am not here where you can see me, you both will always be in my heart.
I love you both!
xoxoxoxox
Heather Lynne (Mommy)”
I quickly closed the book and returned it to it’s rightful position
in the night stand. With that, Nick walked out of the bathroom and
we finally went to sleep.