Chapter 86
Things were going well for the first few days. Nick had gone to the studio several times to work on songs. Management was getting frustrated with Nick though. He always had his mind on Katie Lynne or me. Brian would sometimes even have to snap his fingers at Nick and call for a break. Howie and Kat were over in Spain, despite the threats from Ivan and Jean Louis. Howie didn’t care. He knew in his heart that the trip was important to the two of them, so, they went, even if management got angry.
I went in to have the sutures checked, and within seven days, the wounds had closed nicely. After they removed the stitches, I began my chemotherapy treatments. They were rough, but like Nick always said, “Be strong.” And that was exactly what I had done. I went the first day, expecting the worst. The chemotherapy did just as I expected. It made me so sick, and I spent hours at a time throwing up. It was like having morning sickness all over again. Dr. Sigapeli gave me medication to control the vomiting, and it helped.
The first few days of treatments seemed miserable, but after I got used to it, it wasn’t too bad. The worst part was having to get an injection every other day. I hate needles, so this was traumatic for me. Nick talked to Dr. Sigapeli about my fears of needles, and asked if there was some other way to avoid me having to get stuck everyday. The doctor recommended that I get a central venous catheter, so that way they didn’t have to stick me with a needle everytime. There was already a little port for the tube to go to, and that made my life so much easier. The worst part was that I had this funny little plastic port under my skin on my arm, and it looked weird.
Nick was always right at my side during my treatments. Although the hospital always made him nervous, he never let it show. He was there to support me, and that was final. Even when Dr. Sigapeli had to check for my cell count and platelet count, (which required more blood to be drawn), Nick sat there patiently supporting me. I would turn my head away from the needles, and he would always make a silly face so I wouldn’t notice the needle. It made me feel good that he was so sweet through all of it.
Everyday Howie and Kat would call from Spain to check on me. It was so weird to have everyone calling me and dropping by. There was always a steady stream of people at our house. Jane and Bob would come make breakfast. Brian and Leighanne would drop by to help with Katie mid-day. AJ would come by, harrass Nick, steal Katie for an hour or so, and then kiss me goodbye. Kevin and Dee, well, they always found time to come and help clean the house, cook dinner, and hang around to watch television with us. Aaron and Angel had this amazing ability to drop in to visit their niece. Aaron was so proud to be an uncle, although he always thought it was weird. Angel, Leslie, and BJ just sat around with Katie reading bopper magazines, fashion magazines, and the lastest gossip. They liked to point out to Katie which latest fashion was the best. I would laugh because Katie was only 2 months old, and had no clue what they were raving about.
This was our life, day in and day out. Totally surrounded by our friends, only to find time to ourselves in the evening.
*** *** ***
“Heather, how are you feeling?” Nick asked. “Has the nausea calmed down more?”
“Yeah, at least I held down ALL my food yesterday.” I laughed.
“Is there anything I could get you?” he offered.
“Umm, well, I could use a glass of apple juice. Would you mind getting that for me while I go use the bathroom?” I asked as I got up.
My entire body felt tired, and sore. All the chemotherapy was hitting me hard. It was a tough drug to deal with. But, Dr. Sigapeli said that I needed a very strong drug to cure the cancer, so I did everything he told me to. However, despite all the sleep I got, I never felt rested up. Nick was concerned, because anemia was a side-effect of the chemotherapy, and he was hoping I wouldn’t end up with it.
As I looked in the mirror after washing my hands, I noticed a little hair on my shoulder. I reached up to pull it off, and noticed that a clump came out with it. As I ran my hands through my hair, more and more fell out. It was terrible, clumps of hair just fell out so easily, like someone was cutting it off.
“NO!!!” I screamed.
Nick panicked and came running down the hallway. “Heather, are you okay? What’s wrong??!!”
“My hair….” I sobbed. It was starting to fall out. “Nick, this can’t happen. NO.” I continued to cry.
“Baby, it’s okay. It’s just your hair. It will grow back. Don’t worry.” he laughed, trying to lighten the situation. “Hey, think of it this way…we will save on the shampoo and conditioner!” he said, jokingly.
“THAT IS NOT FUNNY NICK!” I yelled as I continued to cry.
“Hon, it’s really going to be okay. We can get ya a neat hat, AJ’s got so many, he could lend ya one, or if you don’t want ANYONE to know, I will take you and get you a wig, so no one can tell. How about that?” Nick offered.
“That would be nice. Maybe it all won’t fall out. The doctor said I may only loose a little.” I said, trying to lift my spirits a bit.
“Well, then it is settled, we will hide it from the others.” Nick said with a smile, knowing in his mind that it was the right thing to do.
*** *** ***
“Oh Kevin, come here hon.” Dee said seductively from upstairs.
“Yes, dear…just a moment.” he replied. Kevin knew that Dee wanted to show off some of her latest designs. She was starting a lingerie line of clothing in addition to her usual clothes. Kevin found it exciting and appealing.
“Well, I need your opinion. It will only take a minute.” she said back.
Kevin got up from the kitchen table, and walked up the stairs. Once he reached to top, he went straight to the bedroom. Dee was lying there on the bed with a lilac colored lace teddy. It had a thong back, and she was lying in just the right position to show it off. Kevin stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes fell over her.
“Denise…that is…umm…sexy.” Kevin said, turning a lovely shade of red.
“Why thank you kind sir. Although, your description is…lacking something…” she said with a grin.
He knew exactly what she wanted, and he laid down on the bed next to
her and kissed her neck. It soon turned into far more than just a
simple romantic kiss. And that was exactly what Dee wanted…
*** *** ***
“Leighanne, do you want to go over and see Nick and Heather today?” Brian asked from the bathroom.
“Yeah, but later on. Why don’t we go shopping. I wanted to look for something.” she replied.
“What are you looking for?” Brian asked curiously.
“Umm, I wanted to find Katie a new pj set or something. I think she needs one. Have you seen how fast she has grown?” Leighanne asked cheerfully.
“Yup, Little Bits is looking really cute. It is amazing that she is only 2 months old. I think she is going to learn to walk fast and talk sooner than most. I mean, have you seen how alert she is, and she is sooo little.” Brian bragged about his niece.
“Gosh Brian, you act like she is your own daughter.” Leighanne laughed.
“Well, someday I hope that you and I have one just like her.” Brian said softly as he walked over to her and kissed her gently.
Leighanne always melted in his arms when he did that. Brian was always so gentle with her, so sweet, and so kind. She never lacked for anything. If Brian had a say in it, she had it. All she had to do was look at something, and he would get it for her. If she looked like she was sad, he would crack a joke to make her laugh. It was amazing how the two of them got along so great.
“Well, where do you want to go shopping at?” Brian asked.
“I was thinking of the mall…over in Tampa. No one is expecting us over there, so, maybe we won’t get bombarded by kids.” she answered.
“Sounds good.” Brian said. “We’ll leave in about 45 minutes, is that okay?”
“Yup, I will be ready.” she replied and got up to go get dressed.
*** *** ***
“Nick, would you mind taking me today to go and look into a wig for me?” I asked.
“Not at all, but where do we go?” He asked curiously.
“There is a store at one of the malls over in Tampa. I think they even cater to cancer patients, so it should be discreet.” I said.
“Then, why don’t we go in about an hour. Does that give you enough time to get you and Katie Lynne ready?” he asked.
“Yup, just let me take a quick shower and get dressed. Katie had her bath last night, so, she just needs to be dressed. Could you pull the pink sleeper out, the one with the little elephant on it? I will put that on her. What are you going to wear?” I asked.
“Umm, I was thinking black jeans, with a black t-shirt, and a forest green over-sized button up over top. Then I will wear my bucket hat and sunglasses. Hopefully no one will recognize me.” he said with a smile.
“Good luck, we haven’t found one adventure we have taken that you haven’t gotten noticed. But, hey, since you all are off tour, no one knows where you will be anyway. So, we just might be lucky today.” I said with a giggle.
“While you get ready, I am going to pack some water bottles in Katie’s bag for the two of us. Have you been drinking plenty of water? Dr. Sigapeli wants you drinking at least 10 glasses a day.” Nick mentioned.
“Yeah, why do you think I have to pee every ten minutes?” I said with a laugh. “But, thanks. Could you also make sure there is plenty of formula for Katie? And at least a few diapers? She seems to be going through them like crazy! I swear, babies…I want to know where they put it all???”
We finished getting ready, and then head out the door. It was about an hour to the mall, so, we had plenty of time to laugh and sing and giggle. Katie slept the entire time, as usual.
*** *** ***
“Kevin…that was…amazing.” Dee said as she laid next to him. “Remind me to thank your mother and father when I see them next.” she teased.
“For what?” he asked.
“For creating that most handsome and sexy man on the planet.” she said with a smile.
They laid there in each other’s arms for about an hour, before they decided to get up and do something. (Something that didn’t involve sex, at least for a few hours.)
“I was hoping to take some of my designs over to one of the shops at the Tampa mall. Would you like to go with me?” she asked.
“Dee, when have I ever turned down going somewhere with you?” he asked.
“Umm, let’s see, I am sure there was at least one time, but right now, I don’t know.” she answered.
“Well, we’ll go in just a little bit.” he said.
The two of them got ready and soon made their way to Tampa, just at the others were.
*** *** ***
AJ was walking through the mall, luckily, without anyone noticing he was there. He found a great shop called The Hat Zone, and soon found himself trying on 15 different hats. The store clerk just looked at him. She was unnerved by him taking down all the hats and piling them up. “Excuse me sir, but do you have any intention of buying those hats?” she asked as she approached him.
“Oh yes ma’am.” he answered sincerely.
“Well, I hope you have almost two hundred…” she said as she stopped mid-sentence. It suddenly dawned on her who she was speaking to. “Umm, oh my gosh…umm, I am sorry. You are…umm….” she tried to say, stumbling over her own words.
“Yeah, I’m AJ, but please keep it quiet…I don’t want anyone to know I am here.” he said, whispering.
“Could I just ask a quick favor?” she asked nervously, trying not to shake uncontrollably.
“Sure, what do you need?” AJ asked.
“Could you just autograph my Tampa Bay Bucs cap? Please?” she said with a nervous grin.
“Of course, my lady. Anything for you.” AJ said with a smile. “By the way, has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?” he complimented her.
“Umm, no.” she answered, her cheeks turning bright red.
“Well, you do Miss…” AJ said as he tried to figure out her name.
“Brianna. My name is Brianna.”
“Miss Brianna, what are you planning to do this evening?” AJ said, putting on the charm.
“After I get out of work, I was just going to go home. Why?”
“I have a proposition to make. Since you have been so nice to me, I would like to return the favor. Would you like to go to the Hard Rock in Orlando tonight?” he asked.
“Would I? With THE AJ McLean?? That would be so cool. You mean it?” she asked.
“Yes, I do. What time do you get out of work?” he questioned.
“3:00. But if Steve gets here earlier, I can probably get him to cover for me.” she said.
“Either way, I will come by around 2:30 or so, and see if you are ready. Do you need to go home or drop your car off?” he asked.
“Yes, but you could follow me or meet me at my house.” she offered.
“Well, my lady, I will then meet you at your house. I will be sitting in the drive way at 3:00 patiently waiting for you to arrive. But take your time, I am in no rush.” he said as he paid for the hats, and then kissed her hand gently.
Brianna just sighed and practically melted to the floor. As soon as AJ walked out, she started screaming at the top of her lungs with excitement.
*** *** ***
Everyone had made it to the mall, unbeknownst to each other. Leighanne and Brian were busy looking at baby clothes at the Limited Kids store, AJ was looking at funky clothes in Gadzook’s, Dee and Kevin were over at Sandra’s Closet dropping off clothes, and Nick and I were at the wig shop.
Leighanne and Brian soon found themselves walking through the mall window shopping. They soon ran into AJ who was struggling to carry all his bags.
“AJ, what are you doing here?” Brian asked.
“Shopping, like most people do in a mall.” he joked. “What about you?”
“We were picking out a few things for Katie Lynne.” Leighanne answered.
“Well, do you want to shop alone or would you like to hang out with us? We are probably going to go eat in a minute.” Brian offered.
“Sure, I’ll come with you guys. Oh, and when we sit down to eat, remind to tell you about this girl I met.” he said with a sparkle in his eyes.
Brian and Leighanne started to laugh as the three of them walked through the mall. Brian offered to carry some of AJ’s packages, figuring that AJ had easily bought well over a $1000 worth of stuff.
It wasn’t too long before they ran into Kevin and Dee.
“My God, what is this? Can’t we have one day where we aren’t all together?” Kevin asked.
“It wasn’t my fault you picked to come to the Tampa mall. How were we supposed to know you were coming here?” AJ huffed.
“Well, since we are all here, why don’t we go get something to eat.” Brian offered.
“That sounds great, I am starved.” Dee smiled.
The group found themselves walking through the mall, window shopping. It wasn’t until they came upon a corner store called, Tresses. As they all walked by, something caught there eyes.
“Is that Nick I see over in the store?” AJ asked.
“I don’t know, but sure looks like Little Bits in that stroller.” Brian said. “But what in the world are they doing at a wig shop?”
“Why don’t we go ask. I am sure there is a good explanation.” Kevin said.
Dee and Leighanne had an idea, but didn’t want to say anything. The five of them walked over to the store and AJ spoke up.
“Yo man, Nick, don’t you have enough hair already?!” he joked.
Nick and I turned around and were horrified. “AJ, what are you
doing…” Nick said trying to quiet him down.
“My God, what did you do? Bring the whole gang?” Nick exclaimed
as he say the whole group walk into the shop.
I immediately burst into tears. The sales clerk who was helping me, tried to calm me down. Everyone looked terribly uncomfortable at the situation.
“Heather, why are you guys here?” AJ asked, not quite understanding.
Dee walked over and put her hand on his shoulder. “AJ, she’s buying a wig.” she said softly.
“I know she is buying a wig, but why?” AJ asked.
Nick went over to talk to them while the sales clerk took me to the back. She didn’t want me to feel any more uncomfortable, so she decided to help me in the back.
“Heather is losing her hair. She didn’t want anyone to know. So, that is why we came all the way over here to Tampa to go shopping. She wanted to get a wig, to hide it so that no one knew. She is already embarrassed about her image right now, and this was just a major blow to her right now. Can you please try and keep it quiet.” Nick explained.
“Oh man, I didn’t know. I am really sorry. Honest, man.” AJ apologized.
The rest of the group smiled and tried to make light of the situation. It was several minutes before I had the nerve to walk out in front of them.
“Guys??” I said as I stepped out.
They all turned to look at me. “Oh Heather, that looks nice. No one will ever notice.” Brian said.
“I am sorry, I just didn’t know Heather.” AJ said to me.
“It’s…It’s okay. Really. I am just really having a hard time dealing with all this right now. I was hoping I could keep it a secret. Please don’t tell Howie or Kat. And, would you all pretend like you don’t know?” I asked.
“Of course, but Heather, it doesn’t matter, having the wig doesn’t change the way we look at you. You are beautiful no matter what.” Kevin said softly.
“Thanks everyone. I appreciate that. I am just trying to keep my self-image up so that it keeps me feeling strong. That’s all.” I said softly.
“Well, your secret is safe with us, Heather.” Dee said as she hugged me. “And don’t worry, once you are off the chemo treatments, it will grow back…so this is only temporary.”
“Yeah, you all are right.” I said. “Now, who is hungry? Nick and I are starving!”
“I swear Heather, we must all have ESP or something. We were all on our way to the Food Court.” Leighanne said.
The eight of us went to eat and enjoy an afternoon just hanging out. AJ told us all about this beautiful girl that he had met, and how he was going to take her to Hard Rock. Once we were done eating, we all went our separate ways. AJ went to pick up Brianna, Dee and Kevin did some more shopping, and Brian, Leighanne, Nick, Katie Lynne and I all decided to go back to Orlando. Brian and Leighanne came for dinner, and then stayed to watch movies for the evening. Things seemed like the good ole days, before life went crazy for us all.
Later that evening, I sat down and wrote a little note in my journal for Nick and Katie.
“Dearest Nickolas and Kathryn Lynne,
It’s me again. I wanted to tell you that despite all the bad things going on, today was the best day I had had in weeks. Although I am tired and sore all the time, I feel pretty good. I don’t know if the cancer is getting better or worse, and I won’t find out until next week. But, I am just living my life as normally as I can. Nick, thank you for taking me today. You have always been by my side, even through what may have been something very embarrassing for you. Kathryn, you are the light that brightens my day. I hope you understand, even though you are so tiny, that I love you so much. I hope to be there the day that you need to go shopping for the special prom dress, or shoes or whatever it is you need. I want to be part of that. Your daddy and I love you so much. Thank you for helping put a huge smile on our faces.
Well, today was a wonderful day, and I am living life as you have taught me Nickolas. Live life to the fullest, for the future is scarce. Nick, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your love means the world to me.
Many hugs and kisses. I love you both with all my heart, mind, body and soul.
xoxoxoxo
Heather Lynne (mommy)”
And with that, my day was complete. It was time for a nice
and peaceful night’s sleep. Nick cuddled me close to him, and held
me in his arms all night. It was a wonderful feeling to have him
near me. Despite how I looked, and despite what I lacked, his love
for me never changed.