Chapter 87
“Nick, we need to hurry, I have an appointment at 9:30. Are you just going to drop me and Katie off or are you staying?” I hollered down the hallway to Nick.
“Umm, management has us in the studio today. We are recording two songs for the album. Will you be okay without me?” Nick yelled back.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. I will call Dee when I am done and see if I can get a ride with her. Do you want her to bring me to the studio?” I asked.
“No, you better come back here. Ivan and Jean Louis are pretty upset right now. It would be best if you just stay away from the studio for a few days, you know, stay out of the line of fire.” Nick answered.
“I take it they are pretty ticked at Howie for taking off for so long?”
“Yes, and they are taking it out on all of us. We are three weeks behind schedule on the album, so they are squeezing us hard the next two weeks.” Nick said, frustrated.
“I can understand. The magazines are pressing Dee pretty hard too. She has five appointments next week just with magazine editors alone! She is really having luck now. I am so happy for her. I just wish I could go back to work. It gets lonely around here when everyone is gone.” I said.
“Honey, once you are better, and Katie is a bit older, we will be back on the road. You will be coming with us. I was trying to talk to guys in management in to hiring you are our official Spokesperson. AJ’s mom is backing down, now that he is older and she doesn’t have to keep an eye on him.” he laughed.
“You would do that for me? I would be your Spokesperson for the group? Woah!” I said with excitement.
“Yup, the others in the group think it is a good idea, and a great way to keep you near me.” Nick said with a smile.
“Well, then, I better be checking up on my latest gossip on you guys.” I said with a giggle.
Nick smiled and was glad to hear the laughter in the air again. The house was alive again, and things seemed fine.
“Now, we better hurry, because I am going to be late!” I said as I grabbed the keys.
*** *** ***
I sat with Katie in the examine room waiting for Dr. Christine and Dr. Sigapeli. While Dr. Sigapeli was doing tests and stuff, Dr. Christine was going to do a check up on Katie.
“Now Heather, we need to draw some more blood, and then do another x-ray series and MRI. Can you stick around for a while until we get the results back from the lab?” Dr. S, as I was starting to refer to him, said.
“Oh yeah, I don’t have anywhere to go, and I have to wait for a ride anyway.” I answered.
“Great, well, let’s get to it. Just lie back and relax. First we are going to check the wound site. Then we will draw blood, and then do the x-rays.” he said as he was checking my chest for any signs of abnormalities or infection. “So far, the surgical site looks great. You are healing very well, with little scaring. The nice part is, if you decide to have breast reconstruction, they can cut where the first scars are, reducing the scarring elsewhere.”
“Oh, that is encouraging. Oh, and Dr. S, I got a wig. I hope you don’t think it is silly.” I said.
“Why Heather, I couldn’t even tell. Are you losing that much hair?” he asked.
“Umm, yeah.” I said as I pulled the wig off.
“I see.” he said as he noticed that most of my hair was now totally gone. “Well, at least you won’t need much shampoo and conditioner.” he joked.
“Funny, ha ha. You know, that is the same exact thing Nick said to me when it first started falling out.” I said. “What is it with you men. You have no idea how important a woman’s hair is.” I said with a serious tone.
“Heather, I wasn’t trying to be mean…” he said.
“I know…I was kidding too.” I said with a smile.
“Well, let’s get this blood drawn and the x-rays and MRI done, so you don’t have to be here all day.” he said.
*** *** ***
The five guys sat in the recording studio going through the songs that Brian had written. There were some beautiful ballads. AJ had brought in an up-tempo song he had been working on. Nick brought one that had an much edgier sound to it, and Kevin fiddled on the piano the whole morning. Howie sat on a stool, worried about even saying a word. Everyone was a bit upset at him, because they had gotten in trouble due to him. But, no matter how much yelling and reprimanding there was, they knew that Howie needed the break, and couldn’t stay mad at him for more than a few minutes.
“Come one guys, why don’t we put ‘When the Dawn Comes’ and ‘Surroundings’ on the album. They are two great ballads that WE wrote. I think it is important that we put as many songs as possible from us. We need to get the critics to notice us, not criticize us for singing other peoples creations.” Brian said cheerfully.
“Yeah, and then we could put ‘In the Dark of the Night’. That one is a bit more up-tempo. That leaves us with 8 or 9 more to pick, but at least it’s a start.” Nick said.
Howie, AJ, and Kevin all agreed. The choices were fine with them. So, they decided to get into the studio and start working on the recordings.
The afternoon went so fast, with them singing and playing that Nick didn’t even have time to think about my appointment.
*** *** ***
“Heather, would you please step into my office?” Dr. S had asked me out in the waiting room.
“Sure.” I said as pushed Katie’s stroller down the hallway.
“Come right in here, and have a seat. I have some things to discuss with you.” he said.
I sat down, not sure what to expect. When I looked at him, I knew something wasn’t right. I looked nervously at Katie Lynne.
“Heather, there is a problem. I don’t know how we missed it, but we did.” he started to say.
“Miss what? Doctor, please tell me.” I begged.
“The cancer, we knew it had spread, but we didn’t realize it was this extensive.” he said, trying not to choke up.
“I don’t understand. I have been feeling good, tired, but overall, pretty good.” I told him.
“Heather, I don’t understand it. The mastectomy should have gotten it all. But, it seems as if the cancer spread further than we ever expected. And the reason you are so tired is because you have what is called a metastatic brain tumor. The breast cancer spread to your brain, in turn causing you to have a tumor. There is one problem, because of the position of the tumor, it is inoperable. And, chemotherapy won’t touch the tumor. We could do radiation treatments, but I don’t know what kind of luck we will have. Do you want to do that?” he asked.
I sat there, completely stunned. How could I have come so far, only to be knocked right back down again. Why was all this happening to me? I started to cry, realizing that all the treatments I had gone through wasn’t doing me any good. “What about the other cancer? Did we get it all?”
“The breast cancer seems to be eliminated, but the brain tumor, all your treatments didn’t do anything for it. Unfortunately, 80% of metastatic brain tumors are attributed to breast cancer and other types in women. But, in some cases, there is little that can be done. These types of tumors grow rapidly, and because we cannot remove it, radiation may not be able to slow it down or shrink it before it does damage.” he answered as honestly as he could.
“Well, I know that Nick would want us to try the radiation treatment, because we don’t believe in giving up, so, please, we need to do this as soon as possible. If not, I want to know how long I have. I have many things to do, and if you know for certain that you can’t cure me, than I want to know how long I have.” I said, with tears in my eyes.
“Heather, I don’t know if I can cure you. At this point, the radiation treatments would only prolong your death, and cause you pain and suffering even further. But, we can try if you want. However, if we don’t try at all, then you have about a month or two. That is it. I am so sorry.” he said as he hung he head.
“Thank you for being honest. I need to go now to take my child home and see my husband. He needs to know about this.” I said as I got up and walked away. I am sure there were papers to be signed or something, but I didn’t care, at least not at that very moment.
As I walked away, Dr. Sigapeli took out his voice recorder, and spoke
into it. “June 16, 2000. Patient Heather Lynne Carter, 24 years old, diagnosed with
breast cancer, received radical mastectomy to both breasts, was found to
has a metastatic brain tumor, resulting from the spreading of the breast
cancer. Prognosis—no recovery. Patient given time frame of
one to two months.
*** *** ***
I sat sobbing silently, as the cab took me home. “Here you are Mrs. Carter. That will be $10.50 please.” I handed the cab driver a $20 bill and told him to keep the change. He helped me to the door, noticing that I had been crying the whole way, and then left.
I sat quietly on the couch waiting for Nick to come home. I didn’t call him, or anyone. I couldn’t alarm them over the phone. It wasn’t right. I sat nervously, wondering how to tell Nick. My heart skipped a beat when I heard the front door open.
“Heather, honey! I’m home! Did you miss me?” he said cheerfully.
He didn’t hear anything, so he walked into the living room, only to find me sitting there silently.
“Heather. Did you hear me?” Nick asked.
All I could do was shake my head. When he approached me, he could see that my eyes were swollen and bloodshot. He immediately grew concerned at the site of me.
“Heather, what’s wrong honey? Did something happen today? Is Katie alright?” he asked as he crouched in front of me.
“Katie…she is fine.” I said softly. “But Nick…” I said as I broke down. I started sobbing uncontrollably. He couldn’t get me to stop, and he knew something was bad. He was so scared because of how seriously I was sobbing, that he called his parents to come over and help him.
“Heather, please. Tell me what is wrong. Please!” Nick kept saying over again.
All I could do was cry. Katie then started to cry, which made Nick even more nervous. He panicked, not knowing what to do. I wouldn’t talk; I wouldn’t look up. All I could do was sob uncontrollably. Once his parents arrived, Bob got Katie calmed down. Jane stood there, trying to sort things out.
“Heather. Listen to me. We can’t help you unless you tell us what is wrong. Please, honey, just talk to us. We can make it better.” Jane assured me.
“No…no…no one can make it better.” I said, still crying. “Dr. Sigapeli said that my cancer…spread. The breast cancer is eliminated, but no one noticed it had spread elsewhere.”
“Well, don’t worry. If it’s a tumor, it can be removed. Don’t worry.” she said as Nick looked nervously at her.
“No, it can’t be. The tumor is in my brain, and it is called a metastatic brain tumor. Because of where it is located, it is inoperable. And to make matters worse, it is growing rapidly, and chemotherapy won’t work. The doctor says that I could try radiation therapy, but there is little hope of that working either. So, basically, I have about a month left. That is it.” I said collapsing back in the couch.
Nick stood there for a moment, and then collapsed into his mother’s arms. “Mom, oh God, please tell me this is NOT HAPPENING!!!” he suddenly yelled and heaved a book from the coffee table across the room. “THIS CANNOT HAPPEN TO YOU!!! IT JUST CAN’T!!! YOU HAVE DONE EVERYTHING THEY HAVE ASKED YOU TO…WHERE IS GOD NOW? WE ALL PRAYED…AND THIS IS WHAT WE GET IN RETURN!!???” Nick yelled as he stomped out the front door.
Jane tried to go after him, but he got in the truck and drove away. I knew that he just needed to calm down…as did I. I knew where he had gone.
Jane called Brian for help. “Brian, he ran off. Please, will you go and get him? Yeah, it’s bad…really bad.” Jane said into the phone.
Brian and Leighanne immediately drove to the house. When they arrived, they found me laying on the couch asleep, Jane holding Katie, and Bob pacing back and forth.
“My God, what has happened. Please, tell us.” Brian pleaded.
“Brian, it’s Heather. The cancer spread and she now has a metastatic brain tumor. It is inoperable…” Jane tried to say, but started to cry.
“They can’t take it out, and there is no way to get rid of it. It is growing really fast, and the doctors give her no more than 2 months.” Bob finished.
Brian and Leighanne stood there in shock. They didn’t know what to say or do. Tears started to stream down Leighanne’s cheeks, and all Brian could do was ask where Nick went.
“Heather said that he would go to their place on the beach. Do you know where that is at?” Bob asked.
“Yes, it’s down by the boardwalk. Not to far from where her friend Lucy works. I think I know where he is at. I will go and try to get him.” Brian walked out, still in shock. His mind was running a thousand miles an hour, and he wasn’t sure if it was all a bad dream he had yet to wake up from, or if this was all real.
*** *** ***
“Yeah, I know. I don’t know how Nick is holding up. I am still looking for him. Yeah. Heather was sleeping when we got there, but she didn’t look good. Kevin, what is Nick going to do?” Brian talked into his cell phone as he drove towards to beach.
“Uh huh…metasta…something…brain tumor. Yes, it’s possible. I don’t know how they missed it. I just don’t know.” he continued.
Dee and Kevin were on the other end blurting out questions left and right, and demanded answers, answers that Brian didn’t have. Kevin hung up the phone, and the two of them left for our house. Brian then called Howie and AJ. The two were are AJ’s house watching the baseball game on television, when they got the call.
“WHAT!! NO! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!” Howie yelled in the phone. AJ sat there stunned at Howie’s outburst. He had no idea who was on the other end, and what in the world Howie was talking about.
“Howie, what is God’s name is going on?” AJ demanded to know.
Howie dropped the phone and ran to get his car keys. “AJ, let’s go. I will tell you in the car.”
AJ and Howie locked up the house, and ran to the car. AJ still had no idea of what was happening, he was just following his friend’s orders. “Brian needs us. He has to find Nick. He thinks he may be at the beach down near the boardwalk.” Howie said, as under control as he could be at the moment.
“Well, why would Nick be at the beach? Did he and Heather have a fight or something?” AJ asked. “And why I am I becoming the last one to know anything these days?!”
“AJ, Heather is going to die.” Howie said in a very monotone voice.
“What?” AJ said in shock.
“You heard me. And Nick is upset, and he took off. No one knows where he went.”
*** *** ***
Howie, AJ, and Brian all pulled up at the boardwalk at the same time. They got out, and started to walk out on to the beachfront. They knew he had to be here, but where? The paced up and down the beach, until they found a figure sitting in the sand about a quarter of a mile away.
“NICK!!” Brian yelled out as he ran towards him.
Nick sat there, stone-faced and pale. He couldn’t come to terms with what was happening. Brian, AJ, and Howie all came up to him. Nick got up, looked at them, and then fell into Brian’s arms.
“This is all a big nightmare, one that someone keeps forgetting to wake me up from.” Nick kept saying. “She is my life…she is all I have.” Nick cried.
The three of them tried to console him, and then helped him back to the car. On the drive back to the house, Nick explained everything to them. The three couldn’t believe that nothing could be done. It was hard to believe that I had gone through so much, only to have it all for nothing.
Once they arrived back home, Nick walked in and sat on the floor in front of me. “Heather hon, I am here for you. I am here.”
Everyone else stood around, whispering. No one knew what to so
or do. They knew that words weren’t going to make things better.
So, they all decided to go home and leave the two of us alone. Jane
and Bob took Katie with them overnight, to allow us time together.
Everyone wished it was all just a bad dream…but soon realized…it wasn’t.