Chapter 90
The morning breeze flowed through the open windows on the back side of the house. The sunlight shone as if it had never shone before. My body was so tired, and my mind ached. I wanted nothing more than to be at peace, and to have Nick be with me. I could hear the scurrying about going on in my house. Why were there so many people here? My mind was so scrambled, so foggy.
“Good afternoon sleepy head.” Nick said gently. “I was hoping you would wake up soon.”
“Good afternoon my love. What is going on? Why is everyone here?” I asked, curiously.
“Because, we are trying to make this day very special for you. That’s why. We all want to be here for you.” Nick said, hoping to make me smile.
“Thank you.” I whispered.
Nick leaned down to give me a hug, knowing that very soon, he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. I was amazed at how strong he was and so full of life. He held Katie Lynne in his arms as he walked around and got the guests ready for lunch.
“Come on y’all. She’s awake!” Nick yelled.
Everyone scrambled into the room, taking their places among the chairs and couches.
“Heather, it is good to see you up.” Dee said as she smiled brightly.
I wondered to myself, was this heaven, or what? My friends sat around, like nothing bad had ever happened. Was I already dead and gone? Was this what was awaiting for me at the “pearly gates”? I tried to comprehend what was happening. How could everyone seem to real and so cheerful?
It was easy, they didn’t want me to die alone, and scared. They were actually trying to make things easier for me and for Nick. Nick sat right at my side, helping me with Katie. We all sat around and chatted, and then I drifted off to sleep again. It was so hard to stay awake, it took so much effort. I felt crowded by everyone, yet, it was nice to have them there. My life was so full of wonderful friends and family, how could I want for anything else? The only dream I ever had was to be happy. But today, I was not happy. I was watching my friends and my husband talk and try to the make the best of a bad situation. I suddenly realized that I would never see Katie Lynne grow up into a beautiful young lady, I would never seen her go to prom, and I would be leaving Nick all alone.
As I sat there silently, pictures of my life passed before me. The things that I had done, and the things that others had done for me. Why had Nick pulled me out of that water? I will never know. Why did all this happen to me? How could I have been so lucky to have found the one soul mate and true love in the world? And, now, in the time I needed my prayers to be answered the most, they were being denied?
“Nick, please, I don’t want to die in here. Not in front of everyone. I just can’t.” I whispered.
“I know Heather, I know. I was hoping that we could both go together to our special place on the beach and just watch the sunset? Would you like to see that?” he asked, trying to be strong.
“I would want nothing more than to be with you Nickolas. I love you so much.” I said weakly.
Nick and I got our things, and we decided to head to the beach. I refused to say goodbye to anyone. I refused to shed a tear. I wanted it to be like we were just going for a walk.
“I will be back everyone. Nick and I are just going to watch the sunset. Will you all wait for us?” I asked as I grabbed a blanket off the couch.
Everyone nodded in agreement, knowing full well that I would not be coming home. Nick glanced at everyone, silently thanking them for their discretion and sincerity. He hugged everyone and then carried me to the car.
“Heather, today, we will just be happy and enjoy the life that God has given us.” Nick said as he lowered me into the car.
I sat there silently, wishing that things could have been different. “Nick, I am sorry that you had to find me at the beach last year. If you had never come to help me, we would have never met. I am so sorry that your life has been turned upside down. And now, I feel so bad that you will be all alone.” I said as a tear fell gently down my cheek.
“Heather, nothing has made me happier in my life. You showed me that love is something you should treasure. You gave me something that will always hold a special place in my heart…your love. And I will teach our daughter to have the same spirit and passion that you do. She will never forget about you, and neither will I. You may not be here in body, but in spirit, you always will be. Please, just remember…you are the love of my life, and there will never be anyone to replace you…ever.” he said as he pulled up to a parking space along the boardwalk.
Nick then picked me up, and carried me over to the spot where he first met me. It was mid-afternoon, and the waves were slowly rolling in. It was the start of high tide, and far off in the distance, we could see the swimmers playing. Boats sailed back and forth the entire afternoon. Children played on the sand. Sand castles were the remnants of battles won in fantasy worlds.
Nick sat on the blanket, holding me in his lap. Compared to his giant frame and muscular body, my frail and sickly frame was easily overtaken. He held me like a small doll in his arms, gently caressing my tiny hairs. I didn’t realize the impact all this had on Nick until I felt a cold tear fall on my face. I tried to look up, and saw Nick wiping silent tears away from his eyes. The pain and the sorrow were finally beginning to emerge.
“Nick, you have to promise me…you will move on. You will be happy again. Please promise me.” I whispered.
“Heather, I can’t promise. I love you so much, and I can’t stand to see you go.” he said, holding me closer.
“Nick, don’t do this. I can’t leave until I know…please…Nick.” I said, barely able to whisper. I then looked out towards the water, and noticed that the sun was setting. “Look Nick, that is the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen.”
“Yes, but not as beautiful as you sweetheart.” Nick said, holding back the tears. “Heather…I promise…but I will never let go of you. You will always be in my heart.” Nick said as he kissed me on the forehead.
“I am so tired…I just want to sleep. I love…you…Nick.” I said as he kissed me gently on the lips.
“And I love you too Heather. I will always, always love you…” he said.
“You’ll…be…in…my…heart…Nickolas…I…love…you.” I said as my body went limp.
Nick held me close and just kept saying, “Just sleep Heather. Don’t be afraid. I love you. I love you.”
*** *** ***
Nick stayed on the beach, crying his eyes out. The time had come to say goodbye, and there was nothing that could take it back. Life had come and life had gone. It was one day before the anniversary of the rescue. Nick would never forget that almost exactly one year before, he had rescued the girl of his dreams from the very same spot. The sunset had finished, and Nick sat there, cradling me in his arms. His heart was full of anger, anger for taking his precious love away, anger for taking away the only thing in life he loved with all his heart.
It wasn’t until all of his friends stood behind him, that he realized that the day had come to an end. They had all been there when he said goodbye…but far enough away to respect his privacy. Katie Lynne cried, and Nick was brought back to reality.
“Katie Lynne, don’t you cry. Mommy had to go, but she will be watching over us all.” Dee tried to say as tears streamed down her face.
Brian and Howie helped Nick. The time had come for everyone to say goodbye to a very good friend.
*** *** ***
Everyone had gathered at Nick’s house. The authorities had come to do what needed to be done. The Carter family gathered around Nick, trying to console him. A small crowd gathered in prayer around the house, made up of fans, friends, and neighbors. Everyone stayed at a distance, not wanting to intrude.
Out of the darkness came something that surprised everyone. Nick held Katie in his arms, trying to comfort his daughter.
“You’ll be in my heart…yes, you’ll be in my heart. From this day on…now and forever…more.” he heard coming from down the hallway.
Nick walked slowly, in a daze, towards the music. When he approached the living room, Aaron and Angel were sitting there watching Tarzan…and the ending credits had come on. It was playing Nick’s favorite song, “You’ll Be In My Heart.”
“That was one of Heather’s favorite moments in the movie. She loved that song, and so did I. I wanted to sing it for her, but I never had the time.” Nick said softly.
Everyone looked at him, and then went to his side to comfort him. He cried, he got angry, and then he laid down on the couch. A chapter in Nick’s life had come to an end…and all he could do was try and remember all that he once had…
Heather Lynne Carter
~~ August 14, 1975 -- July 2, 2000 ~~