More than a little disappointed you didn't get invited to Superman's wedding.
Keep memorizing words like "SPLAT", "KAPOW", and "BLAMMMMO" for school spelling bee.
Your resume lists your last three jobs as Defender of the Galaxy, Sidekick to Defender of the Galaxy, and Assistant Manager of Inter-Galactic 7-11.
You shout "Curses! Foiled again" when they forget the catsup at the drive-through.
You whack your boss over the head with a hammer and are surprised when his skull doesn't pop back into shape.
Despite repeated attempts to stop speeding cars with your bare hands, neighbors still think you're just a suicidal lunatic.
At age 43, you set the regional subscription record for Grit Magazine.
Your compulsive self-narrative renders you too transparent for a career in real estate or car repair.
You're the only one wearing a cape at step aerobics.
"Holy 40-year-old virgin, Batman!"
Wife is getting tired of you introducing her as "My trusty sidekick."
Most of your sick days are due to "the effects of the earth's yellow sun."
Refusing to admit you're drunk, you vow revenge on the evil "Flaccidus" for your inability to "perform."
Your secret identity keeps drinking all the beer.
Your attempts at becoming "Danger Cloud" are proving hard on the underwear.