White: *sarcasm* ...Yes, Dog. It tastes just like chicken.

Myshu: On ice.

television: --We interrupt our regularly-scheduled program for this important announcement. The large fire that has already claimed a dozen lives and engulfed a quarter-mile of Melon Forest is spreading quickly to--

Meekachu: Stupid fire. It's making me miss my show!

Miya: You're all heart, Meek.

Meekachu: Darn straight. Now I'll never know what happens!

Miya: ...

White: ...

Myshu: I could drop you a hint...

Miya: *gets up* That's it. I can't take this anymore! All you guys ever do is sit around the couch and watch t.v! There's a whole world out there that's going by without us! Don't you care?!

Doggirl: Hey, that's not true! We do lots of other stuff.

Meekachu: Yeah. You're forgetting video games.

Miya: Ugh! Forget it. I quit! *stomps out the door*

White: ...Is she serious?

Myshu: Don’t jinx it.

Doggirl: Hey, wait! You can't quit--I haven't fired you yet!

White: ...Woah. She’s really gone. I can’t believe it. Shouldn’t we, you know... go after her?

Myshu: Why on Yoshin would you want to go and do something like that?

Meekachu: Crap. White’s right. I suppose I have to motivate myself to get off the couch, now.
...
...
... ...Oh well. I tried.

White: Your laziness has broken new grounds, Meekachu.

Meekachu: Ah, don't sweat it. I'm sure she'll come back around sooner or later.

Miya: AAHHH! *rushes back in*

Doggirl: Wow, already? That was fast.

Miya: SONOFAMONKEYTHERE'SABLOODYINFERNOOUTTHEREWE'REALLGONNABURNALIVE!

Doggirl: ...In English?

White: Whoa, calm down! What's going on??

Myshu: I believe the abridged version is "There's a fire."

White: WHAT?

Doggirl: *sniff sniff* Hey, I smell smoked ham.

Miya: THAT'S THE FOREST BURNING TO THE GROUND, YOU FLEA-BITEN TWIT!

Doggirl: The forest is made of ham? Wow!

White: Did you just turn this stupid overnight or was it the television, Dog?

Meekachu: Hey, don't diss' the tube.

Miya: Screw the t.v! I just said there's a fire outside! Get a clue!

Myshu: And you ran back into the flimsy wooden structure because...?

Miya: Well shoot me for trying to save your lazy tails! I'm outta here! *bolts*

White: What’re we waiting for! We can’t waste a second! *runs for the door, stops, turns around and grabs the SNES, then follows Miya*

Doggirl: *panics* Yip! *scrambles outside*

Myshu: I always wanted to do this... *grabs a chair and heads for the window*

Meekachu: Yo Mysh, the door's right over--

Myshu: *smashes the glass and jumps outside*

Meekachu: ...Whatever.
...
Fine! *grumbles* Stupid fire, ruining my movie... *walks out*

rat: *runs*

flea: *flees*

Meekachu: *runs back in* Man, almost forgot! *picks up the t.v. and hauls it out*

12-22-02:

Doggirl: *ahem* Ladies and gents, it's finally that time of the year...!

Miya: Oh, I love Christmas...

Meekachu: Yeah, you get to take off work, and get presents, and--

White: In order to take off work you'd have to actually be working to begin with, Meekachu.

Meekachu: A slight technicality.

Doggirl: What are you guys talking about? I meant it's time for an update.

Myshu: *exasperated* Sweet Bahamut.

Doggirl: But hey, since it's the holidays, I've decided to be extra-lazy and roll the update announcements and skit into one nice, neat package!

Miya: I'd like to question the use of the words "nice," "neat"--

Meekachu: --and "package."

Doggirl: Hey now, don't be mean. *considers Meekachu's remark* ...And weird. I'm doing society a favor, here.

Myshu: Since when have the doghouse's visitors constituted a "society?"

Doggirl: What did I just say about being mean? Man, you guys would argue with a brick wall if someone drew a face on it.

White: Well, one time you peed on a brick wall because someone drew a fire hydrant on--

Doggirl: That was a nice way of saying shut up!

White: Oh, sorry.

Doggirl: What was I doing...? Oh right, an update. *pulls out a scroll* Ahem... *reads in a phony car salesman's voice*
First of all, "The Great Switcharoo" is at an end! But don't fret--Ryoka added plenty of bloopers for your reading pleasure.

Meekachu: More hilarious than hitting your funny bone--guaranteed!

Doggirl: *ignores him* By the way, you'd better check the thermostat in hell, 'cause "King of the Mountain" has a new chapter!

Myshu: Are you telling your audience to go to hell?

*Meekachu and Miya snicker*

Doggirl: *panics* W-what?! Of course not. Uh... geez, that came out wrong...
...Moving on!
*reads* Ryoka also contributed two new pics to the scrapbook, and the gallery is loaded with EIGHTEEN funny/tragic/cute/whatever pics from Brett! Woo!

Myshu: *deadpan* I'm thrilled.

Doggirl: Hey, you should be. That's a lot of drawin'. More than I do in... a year.

Miya: More than you update in a year.

Doggirl: No thanks to you lazy bums.

Miya: Oh whatev--

White: Speaking of your drawings, Dog, don't you have any?

Doggirl: Uh... that's right! I do. One in Myshu's section--

Meekachu: She looks like her neck is broken.

Doggirl: Hey! It does not... *looks* ...Oh darn. It does look that way.

Myshu: It's obviously a subliminal message: she wants me dead.

White: Way to interpret, Myshu.

Doggirl: Uh... I decline to comment. *ahem* Like I was sayin', I've also got two in the gallery--

Miya: Hold your horses there, Dog. *looks* Hey... these are ancient!

White: No kidding. Didn't I see you draw these, like, two years ago?

Doggirl: *defensive* It's new to them! *sticks up her snout* And that's one year, Miss Exaggerate.

Miya: Whatever. Get on with it.

Doggirl: Um, right. And... uh... *mumbles*oneinthescrapbook. *shoves paper away*

White: Pardon?

Miya: Na-uh. You're not getting away that easy, muttley. What's this about the scrapbook? *tears paper away from Dog*
...Hey, it's a drawing for that game... uh... what's-its-name.

White: Final Fantasy.

Myshu: *narrows her eyes suspiciously*

Meekachu: Aren't there ten or so of those?

Miya: Who counts?

Doggirl: Well, I count. ...Oh, hehe, I made a pun. I think.

Miya: *sarcastic* Yeah, haha. Hilarious.
Who is this, anyway?

White: Oh, I remember! It's--

Myshu: --Zidane.

White: Yeah. What she said. You played Final Fantasy IX, Myshu?

Myshu: ...no. But I met the prick.

Miya: Waitasecond, that's not a Nintendo game.

Doggirl: *evasively* Yea... so?

Miya: So! This is a Nintendo fansite, in case you forgot, mutt-girl.

Doggirl: Hey, if White can play Final Fantasy Tactics, I can draw fanart for FFIX. So neh. *sticks her tongue out*

Miya: How is that at all releva--

White: Uh, excuse me?? *turns to Myshu* Did you say you MET this person?

Myshu: Hrmph. That's no person. He's a monkey. And a prick.

White: That's pretty far-fetched, Myshu.

Doggirl: He does look like a monkey--

White: I meant that she met him!

Miya: Hold the fort, here! I don't buy this, either. There's no way you could know him.

Meekachu: Yeah, next you'll be telling us you know Mario! Hahaha.

Myshu: I do. He's a dumbass.

everyone: ...

White: Well, I certainly didn't see that coming.

Doggirl: *writes on her scroll* Note to self: never try "live update" again...

2-2-03:

(After the fires die down, the doghouse's patrons gather around the smoldering wreckage of their former abode.)

Meekachu: What a tragedy.

White: Says he who ran into a burning building to save a television.

Myshu: And that Super Nintendo you're holding was conveniently in your arms as you fled for your life, right?

White: ...Touché.

Miya: *wails* What are we going to do?! We're homeless!

Meekachu: Again.

Doggirl: ...! *panics* Oh no, my bone stash! *rushes over to a pile of dirt and starts digging*

White: Considering it was a fire, Dog, I don't think anything buried got--

Doggirl: *digs up a skeleton* Phew... still there.

Miya: O.o()

Myshu: ...

White: ...Right. Anyway, I think our first priority should be--

Meekachu: --finding an electrical outlet.

White: What??

Meekachu: For the t.v, of course.

White: Oh, gimme a break...

Miya: Arg! I'm sick of you and your t.v! *punts the 'tube, breaking the glass*

Meekachu: O_O!

Doggirl: Yipe!

Miya: Gaahh! My foot! *hops around in agony*

White: Are you okay?

Myshu: I'd imagine kicking in a glass screen with your toe would incur a bit of pain.

Miya: It hurts, but it felt so good!

Myshu: What a poetic paradox.

Meekachu: ...
*stomps over to Miya and leers at her*
...This means war.

Miya: Bring it on, pal! I haven't run out of places to stick my foot, yet.

Myshu: All right, a fight. About time something interesting happened.

White: Sweet magic, no! No one's fighting! *steps between the two yoshies*

Miya: If you don't get out of the way, White, you're gonna look like that t.v.

(meanwhile)

Doggirl: *toying with the salvaged remains of the doghouse* Aw... the Super died.

Miya: *distracted* What? The supervisor?

Meekachu: Superintendent?

Doggirl: No, Super Nintendo.

...

Miya: Uh... Dog, it was never alive. Therefore, it can't, you know... die.

Doggirl: No... it was my friend! I want to give it a proper burial.

Myshu: I'm sure it will fit right in with your human corpse.

White: What? It's broke? Are you sure? Darn, and I worked so hard to save it, too.

Miya: How can you be sure it's broke, if you can't even plug it--

Doggirl: *grr* Stupid piece of junk, live...! *hits it*

SNES: *zaps her*

Doggirl: Eek!

Myshu: The vengence of the dead.

Meekachu: Spriff it, Miya, this is all your fault!

Miya: What!? How in Yoshian is it my fault?!

Meekachu: I dunno, but it just felt like the right thing to say!

Miya: Why you...! *throws a fist*

White: I said no--! *steps in the way*

*slug*

...

*thud*

Doggirl: ...o_o! White!!

Meekachu: Geez... you killed her!

Miya: I... I... she was in the way!

Myshu: You want that on her tombstone?

Doggirl: ...Nooo!!

(to be continued...)

3-30-03:

Everyone huddles over the fallen White, awe(dumb)stuck.

Miya: ...Is she dead?

Meekachu: Find out. ...Poke her with a stick.

Miya: Eww, I'm not poking a dead body! You do it.

Meekachu: You slugged 'er!

Doggirl: Waaaahh...! *cries*

Myshu: Look what your stupid mutt's doing now. Shut her up.

Meekachu: Hey, she's not mine.

Myshu: *looks to Miya*

Miya: *looks ignorant* Dog? What dog? I've never seen that dog before.

White: ...ugh... *sits up*

Meekachu: ...!

Miya: She's waking up!

Doggirl: Ahh...! Zombie!! *starts to run*

Myshu: *grabs her by the nape of the neck, thereby thwarting her escape* Idiot.

White: Uh... *blinks* ...huh? What happened? *stands up*

Miya: Um... *sheepishly* ...Hi White.

White: *sees Miya, and her countenance seems to transform before everyone's eyes* Oh yeah, I remember now.

*slug*

*thud*

Meekachu: Holy fruits! White came back from the dead and killed Miya!

Doggirl: ZOMBIES!! *freaks out*

Myshu: *bonks the dog on the head* Cut that out, you flea circus!

White: I'm not dead, you (blankity) (blank) (blank)-heads!

Miya: ...owww... neither am I...! *stands up*

*holds her sensitive nose* You little (blank)! That hurt!

White: That's what you get, you stupid (blank)! I can’t believe you (blankity) hit me after I expressly-(blanky)-told you not to (blanky) fight!

Meekachu: Uh... nice to see you're back, White.

Myshu: And more profane than ever.

White: Shut the (blank) up.

Myshu: Oh yeah, you can have this back. Nobody else wants it. *throws dog at her feet*

Doggirl: White! *jumps into her master's arms, wagging her tail gleefully* You’re not a zombie!

White: Of course not, you silly (blank). *hugs her pet* Aww... such a sweet (blank) dog.

Meekachu: ...You can stop swearing, now.

White: Oh, right. *instantly becomes nice again*

Meekachu: *blinks*

Miya: Dang-spriffing-gummit... *quits rubbing her sore nose*

Well? What’re we going to do, now, people?

Doggirl: About what?

Miya: *scoffs* "About what?" About our home! It's a pile of ashes!

Doggirl: Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

Myshu: That's because you have the attention span of a newt.

White: Hmm... maybe we could find someplace else to stay.

Meekachu: Yeah, someplace with a working t--

Miya: *glare of death*

Meekachu: ...never mind.

White: ...Oh! I know! We could go to the Cove!

Doggirl: Cove?

White: Yeah! It's a sacred place to yoshies, but I've got the hookups that could let us in!

Myshu: What's so special about this “Cove”?

Miya: Yeah. How come I’ve never heard of it?

Meekachu: I think I remember this. The Cove is the yoshies' version of Paradise. Most don't believe it even exists. I've never seen it, myself.

Doggirl: What's it like?

White: Oh, it's a beautiful garden, where the Super Happy Tree resides. All the different kinds of fruit grow all year round there, and no one is ever hungry or sad.

Doggirl: Super Happy Tree...? *snigger*

Miya: Sounds too good to be true.

White: I'm positive it's real! Just because most people haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!

Myshu: Sounds like the motto of blind faith.

White: You're all such pessimists. What have we got to lose?

Myshu: Nothing, if wandering for the rest of our lives on a fruitless crusade for a utopian garden centered around a plant dubbed by a mentally handicapped localization crew sounds like fun to you.

Doggirl: Arf! I say we go for it! Sounds like an adventure.

Miya: Fine. It beats kickin' around here, waiting for our house to grow out the dirt.

White: It's settled, then. Let's go!

...

Meekachu: ...Does the Cove have cable?

Miya: Grr.

8-6-03:

And so, our... *ahem* "heroes" set out to find the legendary Cove of Yoshi’s Island.

Doggirl: Are we there yet?

Miya: No.

Doggirl: Are we there yet?

Miya: No.

Doggirl: Are we there yet?

Meekachu: Physically, spiritually, or hypothetically?

Doggirl: ...

...Are we there yet?

Miya: Oh for the love of fruits...! *turns on the mutt* I don't know, okay?! Maybe we were there, and you were so busy aggravating everyone with your mindless questions that we passed it up!

White: Actually, it's a rather distinguished place. I don't think anyone happens upon it on accident and doesn't realize it.

Miya: I was being facetious!

Doggirl: Aww. *looks disappointed*

White: ...Has anyone seen Myshu?

Meekachu: I thought she was right behind us.

(Everyone looks around, finding vacant woods around them.)

Miya: Oh this isn't funny.

Doggirl: Um... she's gone.

Miya: Any more useful observations, Shermutt?

Meekachu: Maybe she ditched us, like that day at the park.

Miya: This isn't a typical romp through the park! We're on a spriffing journey! You can't just walk off without warning!

Doggirl: Ack. So much yelling. You have a lot of anger issues, Miya. Perhaps you should seek--

Miya: *thwaps Dog on the head*

*KO* *thud*

Meekachu: Now that's anger management.

White: Quit abusing my dog, already. Now we have to carry her.

Meekachu: No we don’t... *shifty eyes*

Miya: I'm starting to like this idea.

White: You guys! I like my dog. ...Fine, I'll carry her. *picks up Dog*

Miya: Your funeral.

Meekachu: Speaking of losing dead weight--

Miya: --Like that broken television you insist on lugging around?

White: ...

Meekachu: Hey! You've got to make room for the necessities. Anyway, I don't think Myshu's coming back.

White: You may be right. ...She's not very predictable.

Miya: Or reliable.

Meekachu: Or nice.

...

Miya: Oh well. "When life hands you lemons..."

Meekachu: "...say goodbye?"

Miya: Um, no. But close enough. We're better off without that creepy dragon lady, anyway.

White: *sigh* Let's keep going, then.

9-21-03:

For Want of an Outlet...

9-21-03:

King of the Mountain