This story is not intended to violate any copyrights held by Renaissance Pictures, StudioUSA or any other entity involved with the making of "Jack of All Trades".
"Now, Jacques," the colorful bird whined, "why can't I greet the lovely Mayfair 51. Afterall, she was a founding member of the resistance..."
"Yes, that's true," Jack Stiles confirmed.
Mayfair 51 was one of the founding members of an orgainization to save Pulau Pulau from the evil, infamously known as "the cancellation". The government in control thought the original group of five as misfits, but with their arsenal of swords, they developed a following and fought for the citizens of Pulau Pulau. They were ultimately responsible for the "Vive La Resistance" movement, comprised of a rag tag group of freedom fighters.
But even as important as Mayfair51 was to the resistance, she did not know of Jack Stiles or Emilia Rothschild's roles in the movement, so Jean Claude's identity as more than just a ordinary parrot had to remain secret.
"Whoa," Jack chided, "Any more talk from you and I might agree to your birdbrain scheme. And if I did, Emilia would have my hide." [i] Not that that isn't an [b]unpleasant[/b] prospect[/i]. Jack daydreamed. "Now go. You have your orders." Jack shooed the bird away and Jean Claude fluttered off in a huff.
Moments later Jean Claude arrived at the foot of Mayfair51. She was outside her modest home cutting hybiscus to put into a fresh arrangement. She didn't see the parrot right away, and so Jean Claude had to clear his throat several times to be noticed.
"What's this?" she asked herself as she saw the rolled up note secured on the carrier parrot's back. She pulled out the note.
I must see you tonight. Come alone. I will meet you on the beach of your ocean front property. Crucial business. It was signed; Dragoon.
Mayfair51 was intrigued, especially since she was not the only resistance leader that recognized the Dragoon's uncanny resemblance to Emilia Rothschild's handsome attache, Jack Stiles. Even though it was her birthday, and she would spend it quietly with her family later, she had no pressing plans, other than some laundry, so she decided to go.
Emilia Rothschild walked into the secret lab. She looked around expectantly for Jack, finding him reading a newspaper from America. It was seven months old.
"What are you doing?" Emilia asked.
"Catching up on the news."
"That paper is over seven months old!" she exclaimed when she noticed the date on the cover page.
"Hey, sister. On this bump in the ocean, old news is still news, however outdated it may be."
"Tell me, Jack." Emilia asked fishing. She had yet come up with an appropriate gift for the resistance leader. "What did you get Mayfair51 for her birthday?"
"Oh! I got the perfect gift." Jack got up and handed Emilia a box. "I understand she's really fond of beetles, so I went to the market and bought her a whole box of Spanish flies. Live one's too!"
Emilia covered her mouth and laughed, "Oh please tell me you are kidding," Emilia couldn't quite believe it. She handed the box back to Jack. "She likes the Beatles. I understand they're a quartet from my native England.
"Ahh," Jack mused as he put down the box, "I thought it was strange that she kept refering to one of her beetles as Ringo. Hey, Em. What did you get Mayfair 51?"
Emilia sidestepped the question. "You know, Governor Croque was very suspicious when I had to break our dinner arrangement tonight."
"So why didn't you just tell the "big bag of wind" we were going to a surprise birthday party?"
"For a Resistance Leader? I assume you want to blow our cover, " Emilia chastised jokingly.
Only if you're naked under them. Jack thought.
"You know, I wouldn't be surprised if we find Captain Brogard snooping around the place." Emilia mused tapping her delicate finger to her chin.
"It'll be just like him to crash a party too. Party pooper." Jack groused.
"I tell you Governor, something with the resistance is going on tonight. My informants saw Mr. Stiles talking to the daughter of the son of a cousin to a neighbor of one of the resistance leaders. This may finally lead me to the Daring Dragoon."
"Jack is an imbicile, Brogard. You don't really think he's involved in the resistance, do you?" Govenor Croque puffed up his chest in bravado, and laughed. "Why, I hear the fair Emilia has to tell him when to tie his shoes."
"He wears boots."
"See what I mean?" Governor Croque answered.
"Still Governor, if you don't mind..."
Governor Croque didn't quite understand Brogard's passion for catching the Daring Dragoon, but he saw no harm to his puny attempt so he gave his permission.
"As you wish Brogard," Governor Croque said as he got up from his desk. He pulled on a drawer and pulled out a nightcap and hs beloved cow puppet. Putting the nightcap on his head he said, "Now, Mr. Nipples and I are going to take a nap before my party. Dinner will be at eight." Croque worded it as a command and not an invitation.
"Very well, Governor." Brogard nodded formally and then left the room.
"Who are you?" Jack asked as four men all dressed alike came bounding up to the secret agent.
"Why we're The Beatles, man!" the one speaking made a victory sign. Jack assumed by the sign that they must have been a covert member of the resistance.
"Well, at least look alikes." another 'Beatle' said. " I heard you're having a party for Mayfair51."
Before Jack could respond, another group of four mop top, look alikes walked up. Followed by another. Jack's head was beginning to whirl with all the look alikes at the party.
"What's going on Em?" Jack said as he pointed to the group of twelve, all similar in appearance and dress.
"I don't know, Jack. Could be some type of cloning experiment."
"Yeah, yeah..." Jack said warily as he looked at the group, "...cloning. I hear it's the coming thing."
The party was in full swing when Mayfair51 approached her ocean front property. Several umbrellas made of palm fronds were strategically placed in the sand, and tiki torches lit up the night sky. As she approached the crowd, she could see the buffet of food spread out on a table.
"What's going on here?" she asked.
Someone responded, "Happy Birthday", before she was immediately swept up in a conga line.
Jack was drinking a glass of champagne and listening half heartedly to one of the "Beatle look alikes" explaining the origin of the song [i] Hey Jude[i] when he noticed some movement in some brush on the edge of the beach. Using his right hand he beckoned Emilia to come to him.
"What's wrong Jack?" Emilia asked.
"I think we've got company," he said as he pointed to the bushes. He could almost make out the head of Brogard and one of his officers.
"I think it's Busybody Brogard. You were right Em. Keep Mayfair51 occupied, and I'll take care of Brogard." With that Jack walked off and away from the party goers.
"What do you make of it Jean Pierre? Why, half of them look identical." Captain Brogard quit talking and turned around when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
"I don't remember seeing your invitation," the Daring Dragoon said as he confronted the two men.
"Get him!" Brogard commanded to his subordinate. Jean Pierre was barely able to get his sword out before Jack kicked his wrist dislodging the weapon. He then thrust his foot toward the unfortunate officer's midsection, knocking the breath out of him as he knocked him into the bushes.
Jack turned around to see Brogard with his sword raised and ready for him. Jack parried every move made by Brogard, but he remained on the defensive. Each battle with Brogard was getting more and more mundane and Jack didn't have the patience to continue this parry for long. He decided to disarm Brogard. As Brogard lunged toward Jack's right side, the American spy grabbed Brogard's arm and then punched him in the face. Brogard fell to the ground. Jack grimiced and shook his hand. He forgot how painful a fist fight could be.
Jack grabbed his hat and tilted it down in salute to the fallen Brogard and his flunky. Finding a quick exit favorable to a quick execution, Jack turned on his heels and disappeared.
"Captain Brogard? What are you doing here?" Emilia asked watching her partner's progress from a safe distance. When she saw the flowing cape of the Daring Dragoon leave, she came to the aid of the Captain.
Brogard moaned and then sank back into the sand.
Mayfair51 had followed the Importer/Exporter to the brush. She looked toward Emilia and then down toward Brogard. She could hear the soft crunching of footsteps behind her and turned to see Jack with a bucket of water.
"Would you like the honor?" He asked as he offered the bucket to Mayfair51.
"Oh, could I?" she begged as she eagerly took the bucket and poured it over Brogard.
