This story is not intended to violate any copyrights held by MCA, Universal Studios, Renaissance Pictures or any other entity involved with the making of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys or Xena: Warrior Princess.
Smoke filled the thief’s lungs as he moved down another corridor of the castle. The fire continued to rage out of control in the King’s living quarters just east of his location.
As the smoke thickened, Autolycus recognized the hall he was now traveling. He remembered being in it before as he continued to look for the Princess’ precious Gem. He turned around, choking on the soot and ashes that coated his throat. He had to find the Princess’ Gem.
Autolycus moved down another corridor, noting almost absently, that the burn on his jaw hurt and he would never get the smoky smell out of his new, green tunic, never mind the perspiration stains. Autolycus rarely liked to break a sweat, but he had to find the precious, little Gem.
Suddenly, Autolycus stopped. He heard Hercules shouting down another equally smoky corridor. His shouting did not bode well. He heard more shouting. The King’s guards were working tirelessly trying to fight the raging fire.
The thief trudged on. He stopped at an intersection between two perpendicular corridors and watched through the smoke as a distant and foggy figure moved toward him.
“Did you find it?” Iolaus asked Autolycus at the intersection.
“No, not yet,” the thief answered.
“Well, keep searching, but don’t risk your neck to find it. King’s orders,” Iolaus said and then took off again searching for any remaining victims of the blazing castle fire.
“Yeah, well maybe I should quit now, then,” Autolycus shouted as the smoke-like apparition of Iolaus moved down the corridor. Autolycus traveled out of the corridor reluctantly touching his jaw, “after all, I’m just one bone away from risking my neck.” As the thief turned down another hall, he absently began in sing-song, “The jaw bone’s connected to the neck bone. The neck bone’s connected to the…”
Hercules was the first to emerge from the fiery building, bringing with him one of the last survivors of the inferno.
As Hercules crossed the threshold of the castle door, Princess Menagerie, the King’s young daughter, no more than six years of age, came running up to the demigod. Under the crook of his left arm was an exotic animal that Hercules could not identify.
It had a large, narrow snout and an equally long tongue. It had long, stiff ears and powerful digging claws. Its skin was thick and sparsely covered with hair. What little fur it had was stiff and gray.
“Aardvark!” Menagerie yelled in happy relief.
“Is that its name or what it is?” Hercules asked as he released custody of the animal to the young princess.
Without answering, Menagerie proceeded to lovingly place the unusual animal into a makeshift pen outside the burning castle. A few yards away, her parents watched in horror as their family home was quickly engulfed in the inferno.
The King and Queen of the small province of Zoolatria doted on their only daughter and lover of animals, letting the young girl keep each one of her many exotic pets in the castle. After the trio of heroes saved the royal family from the inferno, they were asked by the doe-eyed girl to save the royal pets.
Hercules and Iolaus quickly went to work, rescuing the family’s collection of animals. They drug the more reluctant thief, Autolycus, with them.
Within a few minutes, Iolaus was the next hero to escape the building. He smiled broadly at Menagerie and held up a large cage which carried a curious animal. It was black and white and about eighteen inches tall. The animal had a barrel-like body, webbed feet and wing-like appendages that appeared to be made of leather rather than feathers. He wondered why the girl kept it in a cage as the animal’s quiet demeanor and curious glances didn’t make it appear dangerous.
But because it was housed in a cage, Iolaus was somewhat reluctant to give the possibly dangerous animal to the eager, little girl with the outstretched arms.
“It’s a bird,” Menagerie answered to Iolaus’ silent worries before she wandered off to add the penguin to her collection.
“A bird?” Iolaus pondered gently. He determined the bird’s body was made more for swimming and diving than it was for flying. Trying to explain the bird’s origin to the child, Iolaus explained, “but I don’t think it belongs in a cage.”
Menagerie didn’t hear him. Hercules promptly joined his unheard partner. “Did you see Autolycus?”
Iolaus nodded. “In the hallway. What? He hasn’t come out?” Iolaus asked turning toward the burning castle not sure if he was more worried about the thief or worse, what bauble had possibly delayed the thief.
“You don’t think he’s …” Iolaus asked prefacing the words carefully, “collecting something that is un-collectable, do you?”
Suddenly, as if on cue, Autolycus came out of the burning castle. Caught in the crook of each arm was the last of the animals. In one arm, the King of Thieves’ held a beaver-like creature with a duck-like bill and webbed feet. In the crook of the other arm, Autolycus held an animal that was about the size of a domestic house cat.
“Gem!” Menagerie called out and came running merrily up to the thief.
Before the thief was given the mission to find the young girl’s precious Gem, Menagerie animatedly explained that Gem was a platypus. And although the young girl never described the beast; by the name, Autolycus naturally assumed it was some kind of exotic cat.
The animal the thief held in his left hand was uniformly black with two white bands running down its back. It seemed to be quite the disagreeable pet, Autolycus thought, as it continued the slow, deep, menacing chirring it began when the thief found it and scooped it up.
Autolycus had picked it up in the courtyard, figuring it must have escaped what was now almost burning rubble. The cat-like creature must have been sifting through garbage, Autolycus thought, since he could detect a foul smell emanating from it. Unbeknownst to Autolycus, he found a common skunk. The odiferous mammal was a common pest in the province of Zoolatria.
When Menagerie approached, the thief bent down and swung the arm holding the skunk to her, but the little girl quickly grabbed the beaver-like animal instead.
Menagerie looked curiously at Autolycus. “Why do you have a skunk?” she asked pointing to the creature in his left arm.
“A skunk?” Autolycus responded looking over to the black and white mammal. He had heard of the animal and its reputation for spraying a noxious liquid from its hind end. “I thought this was Gem.”
“Better put it down before it sprays you,” Menagerie cautioned.
Autolycus quickly dropped the skunk, and just as quickly found out that was the wrong thing to do. By then, the animal had been appropriately offended by the thief.
As Menagerie innocently walked off, Autolycus yelled in strident disgust as the skunk lifted his tail and sprayed him.
“Eeeewwww, what’s that smell?” Iolaus asked as he turned around searching for the foul scent.
“A skunk,” Hercules answered as he pointed to the thief running toward the small pond just outside the castle’s walls.
“A skunk?” Iolaus laughed and then said, “Really, Herc! You shouldn’t talk about Autolycus that way.”
The two men turned toward the castle when they heard the rumble of the last wall coming down. The enflamed wooden partition fell on a guard diligently fighting the fire. The flames quickly engulfed his back.
The frightened and startled guard began running in the same direction as the thief – the pond. But the fire had found a new source of energy and was eagerly burning the guard’s clothing and skin, distracting him from his task of putting out the burning flames that were slowly consuming him.
Iolaus quickly pulled off his vest and began running toward the guard on fire, but he didn’t reach him in time. Autolycus, also running at breakneck speed, ran into the guard and propelled both the guard and himself into the cold water of the pond.
Shivering and sputtering, the guard clawed his way up to the bank of the pond. Looking over to the still partially submerged thief, the guard thanked his rescuer, “Thank you. You saved my life.”
Spitting out water from his mouth, Autolycus waved him off not entirely sincere, “No problem. Nothing to it.”
The royal family, along with Iolaus and Hercules following, walked swiftly toward the pond to check on the guard and the thief. Hercules offered his hand toward the guard who accepted it eagerly. Iolaus stepped into the pond and offered his hand toward Autolycus.
Shuffling through the muck he had stirred up by falling into the pond, Autolycus reluctantly accepted Iolaus’ pro-offered hand.
As Iolaus helped him out of the pond, he could see the good the thief had just done and suggested, “You know, Autolycus. It wouldn’t hurt you to act more like a hero once and a while.”
“Hero. Yeah? Well, being a hero stinks.” Autolycus protested. “For once I tried it and look what it got me. No way. I’m a thief and proud of it.”
He pointed to his chest, “Thieves’ Guild, President, Scyros local 101,” he answered proudly.
“Awe, come on, Autolycus. Don’t be like that. You’re all wet.” Iolaus said and then chuckled at his play on words, “Being a hero is all it’s cracked up to be. You‘d see if you gave it a chance. Right Herc?”
Hercules opened his mouth to answer when the King of Zoolatria interrupted the demigod. In exuberance, he lifted his hands broadly and said, “Thank you, thank all of you. How did you know my home and family were in peril?”
“We were on our way to your Festival of Artemis when we saw the flames,” Hercules answered.
All eyes turned to Autolycus as he wrung out his tunic. Hercules and Iolaus waited for his sure-to-be made-up explanation.
“Huh? What? Oh,” Autolycus answered as he smoothed out his wet tunic. “Let’s just say I was in the wrong place at the right time when I…uh, smelled the smoke.”
“Yep. that’s Autolycus.” Iolaus glanced sideways at the thief, “He’s always had a nose for finding trouble.”
The King either didn’t know about the reputation of the King of Thieves or was so thankful that he was willing to forgive the thief’s transgression. The King looked toward his smoldering estate, “Unfortunately, I have no home to show you my hospitality and gratitude, but let me make it up to all of you. You will be the guests of honor at tomorrow’s parade.”
“Really, you don’t have to,” Hercules began to gently protest. “We were glad to help.”
“Oh, but I insist. We’ll see you tomorrow at sun up,” the King answered. He and his family began to wander back toward the smoldering ruins. Talking quietly to the Queen, the King mumbled, “of course, the kingdom only have two chariots, and there are three of them. What do you suggest, my Queen?”
Standing next to the pond, Iolaus said, “A parade? That‘s going a little overboard, don‘t you think?”
“Okay, so what’s a parade?” Autolycus asked unsure. The three men began walking away from the pond.
“I’ll let Iolaus explain it to you,” Hercules said.
“Autolycus, can you do us one favor though,” Iolaus asked.
“What?” Autolycus answered annoyed.
“Walk down wind of us, Phew!” Iolaus waved his hand next to his nose to demonstrate the thief’s loathsome smell.
Hercules, Iolaus and Autolycus found a modest inn and tavern in the center of the province’s only sizeable town. But it was soon clear that the King of Zoolatria was serious about honoring the trio when a runner sought out the heroes and presented them with an itinerary for the next day.
“Grand marshals? What in Tartarus is a grand marshal?” Iolaus asked as the three stood in the main square.
“Who cares?” Autolycus said as he grabbed the itinerary away from Iolaus. “It’s got the world grand in it, so, well, it’s got to be, well, grand.”
After a good night’s sleep, Autolycus was more agreeable in taking Iolaus’ advice about the providence of being a hero and he was eager to be so justly honored. Of course, Iolaus was talking about the noble concept of valor- the genuine act of heroism. Autolycus was only interested in the pomp and circumstance that was extended to them.
“We won’t have to do anything stupid, will we?” Iolaus asked.
“It’s probably just a title,” Hercules said. He looked at Autolycus, “Like King of Thieves.”
“Hey, watch what your saying big guy. I do plenty to keep this title,” Autolycus answered with irritation.
“Like steal, purloin, pilfer, swipe, filch…” Iolaus said.
“See, Hercules. Multi-talented,” Autolycus answered pointing to Iolaus and nodding agreeably.
Iolaus groaned in response.
As Hercules was explaining his theory on what a Grand Marshal was, two decorated chariots pulled up. Each chariot was being pulled by a beautiful, white, stately horse. The chariots were gilded in gold and ornately carved with images of the gods. The horses stopped skillfully in front of Hercules, Iolaus and Autolycus.
“Whoa!” Autolycus exclaimed as his eyes lit on the gilded chariots. “I’m beginning to like this hero thing.”
One charioteer climbed out of the vehicle. “Hercules, Iolaus,” he said as he presented his arm to each hero for a warrior’s handshake. “These will be your rides in the parade. I hope they meet with your approval.”
“The King of Zoolatria shouldn’t have. Really,” Hercules said with modest aggravation.
The charioteer then turned to the thief. “Autolycus, we had a little bit of trouble rounding up your ride. But I promise you, it should be here shortly.”
Soon after the statement was made, a lame, graying donkey pulled up. An old weathered cart was being pulled behind the ancient beast of burden.
Autolycus, Iolaus and Hercules took an incredulous look as the ugly beast drew nearer. The donkey had large ears that touched at each tip and its long, lower jaw stuck out beyond its large, yellow, upper teeth. Its back was swayed and the legs were splayed. Upon closer inspection, a white, milky covering clouded one eye. It was clear the poor beast was blind in its right eye.
As the donkey stumbled to a halt behind the beautiful, white stallions, Autolycus exclaimed, “Having trouble rounding it up? Looks like you had trouble digging it up. You expect me to ride behind that lame jackass?”
“I say, takes one to know one,” Iolaus commented quietly to Hercules.
“I’m sorry, Autolycus. It is the best we could do,” the King said as he walked up with his daughter.
King Refugius knew he was insulting the hero by presenting the beast, but he was not the wealthiest king and had little use for horses and gilded chariots. Besides, Dionysus, as the old donkey was called, was another pet of Menagerie’s and adored by the town folk. “We are but a small kingdom and only have two chariots. It is a shame that I disgrace you with such an ugly beast, but it is my daughter’s pet and therefore you will be well honored by our people to ride behind it.”
“But wouldn’t Iolaus be a better fit?” Autolycus asked, alluding to the hero’s small stature. Autolycus turned to Iolaus, ostensibly to introduce the hunter to the donkey. “Iolaus, feeble-of-mind meet Donkey, feeble-of-body.”
Iolaus walked up to the thief and spoke quietly, “Ah, come on Autolycus. First of all, you don’t want to insult the King by being a bigger ass than…the ass. Besides, if you don‘t get into that cart now, King Refugius might accidentally hear the real reason you were in his castle yesterday.” He slapped the thief on the shoulder sending him careening toward the cart, “Now, be a good sport and play ‘Pin the Thief on the Donkey’.
“Well, since you put it that way,” Autolycus began dubiously. Then he realized that his ride was without a driver. “Hey, where’s my driver?”
“Oh, we don’t have another driver.” King Refugius said, “But not to worry, Dionysus here will follow the two horses quite obediently.”
“How reassuring,” Autolycus answered drolly.
The six-year-old princess listened to the dialog between the heroes and her father, but she was already bored with the grown –ups’ conversation and saw one of her tiny friends across the street waiting in the parade’s crowd. Without excusing herself, she ran off calling the young boy’s name.
Dionysus watched his owner leave and nervously pawed at the ground wanting to join the young princess in what the donkey deemed as a more important diversion than parading the dark-haired human around.
King Refugius was also eager to get the parade under way, “Chop, chop,” he said, “We must get going. Your public awaits.”
Hercules shrugged his broad shoulders at Iolaus’ questioning look. “I guess then, it’s time to go.”
The demigod stepped into the first chariot and then Iolaus stepped into the second chariot, standing next to the charioteer.
Autolycus gave Iolaus a malicious look and followed the lead of the demigod and his partner. He stepped into the rickety cart but the weight of the thief on the already stressed boards caused several to buckle underneath Autolycus. His foot fell through the cart and slammed onto the street below him. As a result, he toppled over and into the cart head first.
Autolycus tried to break his fall by aggressively slapping his hand on the donkey’s back flank. Unfortunately for the thief, this was the signal for the donkey to go, and with a swift lope, the donkey took off unexpectedly past the two white horses and charioteers.
“Now, that’s the spirit,” King Refugius merrily exclaimed.
When Dionysus took off, Autolycus fell into the cart. One leg was still protruding through the bottom of the wagon and his hind end and other leg were hanging precariously out the side. The thief tried to right himself, but every time he tried, it appeared the donkey found every pot hole on the street. It twisted the thief into another compromising position and negated the thief’s effort to recapture what was left of his dignity.
The donkey quickly loped along the course, following the path that Menagerie had taken. Dionysus was trying desperately to catch up to her, and was moving precariously close to the parade crowd. The crowd that lined the street of the parade route seemed to find the trick rider in the donkey’s cart to be quite humorous and Autolycus could hear their jovial laughter as he tried to gain his composure.
Hercules could see the danger the donkey presented as the donkey quickly moved along the trail. He could also see that Autolycus was in equal danger in the ramshackle cart. Without regards to the charioteer, Hercules took the reins of the chariot and began to follow the donkey and its rider.
Iolaus’ charioteer didn’t move. “Well?” Iolaus said in antagonism before he decided he would take the reins on his own. His questioning statement urged the other charioteer to quickly follow the demigod.
With the thief’s left ear only inches from the ground, Autolycus could hear the hoof beats of the two charioteers behind him. They were quickly gaining speed on the lame but determined donkey.
During one particularly mean bump, Autolycus flew up just high enough to see Iolaus’ chariot on his left side. The thief quickly looked to the right to see Hercules closing in on the donkey, urging it to stop its quickened trot.
As Hercules’ horse nudged in, Autolycus could see Iolaus’ hand reaching for the thief. Autolycus tried to grab it as the donkey made a sudden and abrupt halt. The head of the thief plowed into the donkey’s hind end before he fell back and then through the dilapidated cart.
“Ooh,” Iolaus winced, “talk about your pain in the ass.”
Thinking the stunts of the three heroes were performed for the entertainment of the crowd, the throng let out a loud and unanimously appreciative cheer.
Both Hercules and Iolaus were embarrassed over the loud cheering, but Autolycus felt humiliated hearing only the echoes of laughter at his misfortune. He mistook the laughter and cheering as approval over Iolaus and Hercules’ attempts to rescue him.
“Why am I always one of those good people that bad things happen to,” Autolycus coughed as he lay underneath the cart.
Iolaus chuckled. Only Autolycus would categorize himself, the self-proclaimed King of Thieves, as a good person. But Iolaus had to concede that Autolycus was trying to do the right thing, what with rescuing the animals and participating in the parade, and somehow bad things kept happening to him.
“Here,” Iolaus said offering his hand.
“Oh, I am so sorry,” King Refugius said as he ran up. “Are you okay?”
Autolycus dusted off his pants. “Yeah, well, I’m not sure.”
“Let me make it up to you,” the King said. “I was going to invite you all to the ribbon cutting ceremony for our new museum, but I think you would enjoy the running of the Manticores instead. Ribbon cutting ceremonies are so boring. I guarantee you. The running of the Manticores is an event you’ll never forget.”
Autolycus thought it over. A sports event did sound like more fun than a museum opening, especially since the opening was taking place in the middle of the day and Autolycus couldn’t pilfer anything.
“It’s a sports event, right?” Autolycus asked unsure.
“Half of the population attends the event, Autolycus,” King Refugius encouraged.
Iolaus had heard of the event and was sure that Autolycus would not want to participate if he knew what it entailed, but he didn’t want to insult the hospitable King by speaking openly against it. Quietly, he tried to persuade the thief to join them, instead.
“Autolycus, why don’t you come with Hercules and me to the museum opening?” the hunter said. “I know how much you like to visit museums.”
Autolycus mulled it over for a moment and then the King of Thieves decided. “Whoa there, Shorty. There must be something to this running of the Manticores if you don’t want me to join in. You don‘t want me to have any fun, do you? Well, no. No sir-re bob.” Stubbornly he turned to King Refugius. “Tell me where to be and I’ll be there.”
“Oh, good,” the King replied, “We’ll let you start the games.”
The King put his meaty arm around Autolycus’ shoulder and led him down another alleyway before Iolaus could warn him about what he was getting into.
King Refugius told Autolycus that the running of the Manticores traditionally took place at high noon, when the beasts were the most frenetic.
Following the King’s directions, Autolycus wandered toward the intersection he believed the running of the Manticores was to take place. To Autolycus, virtually all alleys looked the same, unless there was something in them to steal, so it didn’t surprise the apt thief that he must have made a wrong turn somewhere.
He looked up at the sun as he continued to walk down the narrow road. Maybe he got the time wrong, Autolycus thought. He didn’t have one of those new-fangled wrist dials, so looked up at the sun again and then around at his surroundings as he said to himself, “Accounting for the longitude and latitude of Zoolatria, coupled with the calendar month, high noon should just about…” he looked back at the sun, “…be now.”
Suddenly, the thief could hear the crescendo rumblings of many excited voices. He continued down the alley and followed the commotion until there was a bend in the road. Then, he stopped. The alley had been cordoned off.
From his vantage point, he could see about a dozen Manticores stomping around in the small square, angry and mobbish in their demeanor.
The fearsome Manticore had the body of a lion, the face of an ape and the stinging, segmented tail of a scorpion. Its huge jaws held three rows of razor-sharp teeth that interlocked when the beast closed its mouth, ensuring a good grip for the Manticore and agony for its victim. The teeth could slash a man to ribbons.
A wooden gate separated the thief and villagers from the throng of blood-thirsty Manticores. Around the perimeter of the square, the town folk had built scaffolding, and Autolycus watched as the charioteer that he had met earlier walked the narrow planks, trying to control the Manticores. He beat them with a heavy stick, but that only incited their rage more.
Even with the beatings, the Manticores continued to move around the town square in a tight herd. Normally, they didn’t move in herds; they were not sociable creatures, far from it. Their herding instinct was a defense against the predation of the town folk of Zoolatria.
The Manticores continued to move in the herd, but the hour of noon had already arrived and the charioteer was impatient, wanting the games to begin. Soon with the endless thrashings of the charioteer, the Manticores would be angered into fleeing or fighting back. There would suddenly be a burst of speed, energy and panic, of villagers and of Manticores and the race would begin.
Manticores were already threatening to break the barriers and trample the population of Zoolatria and the more the charioteer tried to control the beasts below him, the angrier the Manticore mob got.
In response, as the charioteer beat the beasts, some began backing up, away from the herd and toward the barrier that separated Autolycus from the Manticores. Other Manticores milled around the other barriers and still threatened the crowd.
“What in Tartarus are you doing?” Autolycus yelled to the charioteer. “Why are you hitting them? They don‘t look like they like it,” he said dubiously.
“Autolycus, Thank the gods! You’re the hero. Get in here. I can’t control these miserable beasts.” The charioteer hit the backside of the Manticore closest to him, causing it to scream and lurch forward. It fell into another Manticore, causing a chain reaction within the herd. Several Manticores plowed into the barrier closest to Autolycus threatening to topple it.
The thief stepped back. He was suddenly more concerned with his safety than he was with the Manticores’, or for that fact, even the crowd’s welfare. Being the hero in this town was not all it was cracked up to be, he decided. His self perservation took over and Autolycus finally admitted to the charioteer, “Hey, you’ve got me all wrong. I’m not a hero. I’m a thief. I pick on locks for a living, not Manticores. You’re on your own in there.”
One Manticore recognized the singular din of a voice on the other side of the crowd. The thief’s exclamation diverted the Manticore’s attention. It let out a harsh shrill sound, drawing the attention of the rest of the Maniticore mob. In frustration, the charioteer flogged the Manticore that seemed to be creating the diversion.
“Autolycus, in Artemis’ name, you have to help me,” the charioteer pleaded.
The Manticores were naturally drawn to the dark thief that was alone on the other side of the fence. They were afraid of the villagers, being so mob-like in their own demeanor, but the thief was alone and that made him easy prey.
Unpredictably, several of the Manticores rushed the barrier that separated them from Autolycus. In their frenzy, they hit the barrier and the charioteer finally lost control. More than half of the Manticores broke free and flooded the street charging toward Autolycus.
The King of Thieves had no choice. He had to run.
King Refugius stood next to Iolaus and Hercules in front of Zoolatria’s new museum. The large demigod held a razor-edged, gold-encrusted sword in his right hand, ready to slash the ribbon that was wrapped around the columns that led into the museum. Several other citizens gathered around the heroes, waiting for the ribbon cutting ceremony to begin.
Menagerie stood next to her father, pulling anxiously at the King’s pant leg trying to get his attention.
The little girl was bored at the museum opening and wanted to see the Manticores in the main square. She had heard about the beast but had never seen one.
Iolaus yawned and then leaned toward Hercules and said, “I wish Autolycus were here.”
“Worried about him breaking into the museum?” Hercules asked.
“Are you kidding? I’m worried about him having more fun than I’m having, at the moment.”
Menagerie continued to pull on her father’s pants. “Daddy, I want to see the Manticores,” she said.
The King’s attention was divided between the heroes and Menagerie at his side, so King Refugius heard only part of the conversation between the demigod and his partner. Quickly, his attention became focused on the two men and not on his daughter. “Not now, Menagerie,” he admonished. “Iolaus, are you concerned about the thief, Autolycus stealing from the museum? Not to worry. Our museum is called a Natural Museum. There‘s nothing really of interest for the King of Thieves, just flora and fauna, that sort of thing.”
“How’d you know? Iolaus asked, “I mean about Autolycus being a thief.”
“The King of Thieves reputation is well-known in these parts.”
Menagerie pulled on her father’s pants once more. “I’m going to see the Manticores,” she said. She didn’t wait for her father’s permission, and purposely announced her intentions while her father was occupied, so that she would not have to be rebuked again. While her father continued to talk to Iolaus, she wandered toward the town square.
“I long suspected Autolycus was in my castle to steal something of value.”
“If you suspected him, then why did you let him get away with it?” Hercules asked.
King Refugius laughed. “Did I let him get away with it? I believe he‘s being aptly punished, what with the donkey wagon, and the Manticores. I don’t think Autolycus will be visiting Zoolatria any time soon. And speaking of Manticores…” He suddenly looked toward his feet remembering his daughter’s earlier request. When he didn’t immediately see her, he scanned the street looking for Menagerie. Her last words quickly haunted him. “By the gods! Help her! Menagerie went to see the Manticores.”
King Refugius looked up at the sky hoping that the day had not reached the appointed time when the Manticores were released. He saw that it had. “And they are running now.”
Hercules dropped the sword he had been holding and he and Iolaus hurriedly ran toward the town square. They understood the implication and potential danger Menagerie was in.
To the villagers, seeing Autolycus flee with the beasts in close pursuit appeared to be the signal of the beginning of the race. In the mad dash to beat the thief and join him in the adrenaline-filled rush of the run, the throng of villagers broke the barriers and converged upon the town square, running after Autolycus and the rest of the Manticores.
The beasts that remained huddled in the herd were kicked and almost trampled in the villager’s frenzy to begin the race. Some Manticores scurried out of the way while others responded to the abuse by attacking the riotous group.
But the singular fleeing thief caught most of the Manticores’ attention and therefore, the fearsome beast spared a good percentage of the population from their dangerous jaws and their stinging tails as they continued to pursue Autolycus through the streets.
Still running, Autolycus took a brief look behind him. He was still in the lead, but the Manticores, along with some of the swifter and in his opinion dumber villagers, were catching up to the thief. In an effort to evade the Manticores, Autolycus turned a corner, which led into a wider street. This, at least, gave him more of an opportunity to maneuver.
Once he turned the corner, he saw Menagerie. She was bouncing cheerfully toward him unaware of the herd of Manticores and villagers behind him.
Menagerie’s eyes were glued on the throng of Manticores when she saw the ugly beasts following menacingly behind Autolycus. She froze.
“Run Menagerie, run!” Autolycus yelled as he continued forward.
The beasts were quickly advancing on Autolycus. The Manticore was powerfully built and was made for the endless pursuit of prey. If Autolycus not had a clear head start on the herd, he would have surely found himself a victim of the Manticore’s powerful jaw or stinging tail.
As he continued to run toward Menagerie, pleading for her to escape, one large Manticore bolted by Autolycus with uncommon speed. It was clear to the thief that the beast found Menagerie finer prey than the larger and wilier thief. Like all predators, it sensed she was defenseless.
The thief knew that he had to get the King’s daughter out of harm’s way. If she didn’t move soon, she would be attacked, or worse, trampled by the Manticore stampede. Autolycus pumped his legs harder trying to reach Menagerie in time. He feared he had little time to rescue the young princess.
Cold terror could be seen in the young princess’ eyes as she trembled in the middle of the street.
“By the gods, Menagerie, run.” Autolycus pleaded again.
Autolycus suddenly saw his life flash before him. Actually, he decided, it was his death. He never liked to get involved with other people's problems. After all, that's why they were called 'other peoples problems'. He never quite understood how Hercules and Iolaus could do it so often and so unselfishly. As he watched Managerie's life in peril, Autolycus could imagine what his life, and more importantly, what his death would be like if he didn't try to save the young princess. Images of the gallows, guillotines and being thrown in sand shark pits flooded his mind. Bumped into reality by an uncoordinated Manticore, Autolycus made his decision. He may not have been able to save Menagerie, but he could see what would happen if he didn't try.
“Awe, to Tartarus with playing mister nice guy,” he said in resolve. Autolycus had to do something.
Suddenly, The King of Thieves’ focus switched unselfishly to Menagerie. He stopped and in his brief hesitation, watched several Manticores pass by him. The King of Thieves was out of time.
Standing in the middle of the street, Autolycus looked up. He drew his left arm away from his body and quickly flicked his wrist. His grappling hook shot out of the holdout device in his sleeve. Wasting no more of the precious time he had to rescue Menagerie, Autolycus allowed the grappling lead to make two quick circles before swinging the hook onto an extended tree branch several yards away. Grabbing his grappling line, the King of Thieves propelled himself toward the frightened princess.
The swift Manticore was only moments away from sinking his powerful jaw into the warm flesh of the small princess. As he swung by, Autolycus extended his right hand toward Menagerie and grabbed the princess away from the open jaws of the Manticore. He scooped a protective arm around the young princess’ waist as he continued flying in a low arc, toward another stand of trees.
As he was still airborne, Autolycus could see both Iolaus and Hercules running to the rescue. The portly King was following behind, but at a much slower pace.
Hercules ran to battle the closest Manticore as Autolycus slid off of his grappling line in front of the surprised King of Zoolatria. The King of Thieves quickly, but gently, placed Menagerie in the loving arms of her father.
“Thank the gods, Autolycus. You saved her,”
“Well, yeah. All in a days work,” Autolycus replied as he shrugged his shoulders and immediately backed up. Then, he turned to face what was left of the Manticore mob.
Iolaus was deftly fighting one Manticore with dynamic hands and flying feet. He continued to pummel the Manticore’s apelike face in rapid, fluid succession and then he finished off the beast as he made a graceful turn and forced the beast off-balance.
Hercules had grabbed one Manticore by its stinging tail and was swinging it around, taking out several other beasts that just happened to get in the way. Finally, he let the Manticore go and watched as it sailed over the others.
Through the melee, one Manticore managed to escape both Iolaus’ and Hercules’ determined efforts, and was heading straight for Autolycus. A second Manticore also headed toward the thief, following closely behind the first.
Autolycus was not in a favorable position to fight the first beast, so he quickly flipped over the incoming Manticore. In an aerial somersault, he landed behind the beast. He vainly tugged on his tunic as he watched the second beast approach and promptly prepared himself for the second Manticore.
As the second Manticore approached, Autolycus steadied himself and silently began counting off the seconds. When he determined the timing was right, the thief jumped up in the air and performed another mid-air somersault. His feet connected with the lower jaw of the Manticore and as he finished the flip, managed to toss the beast for a loop. Once on the other side of the beast, he reversed his flip and kicked the Manticore in the head rendering it unconscious. The thief’s characteristic yodel echoed through the streets with each somersault.
King Refugius tenderly set his daughter on the ground and with a gentle but firm push, he urge her to run back to her mother. “Now, go. Run to your mother.”
Menagerie nodded and as the King watched his daughter run to safety, he steeled himself for battle with the first Manticore in which the thief had escaped.
King Refugius, poised and calm, watched the Manticore approach. With great speed, the King of Zoolatria took off his crown and with a flip of his wrist, tossed it toward the Manticore as if it was a makeshift charka. The crown hit the beast in the throat, crushing its windpipe and downing it immediately.
“That will teach you to go after a defenseless child,” the King announced with resolve.
With the last of the beasts subjugated by King Refugius, a breathless Iolaus, Hercules and Autolycus wandered toward the King.
Autolycus rested his hands on his knees as he tried to get his breath back. Even though breathlessness, Autolycus looked at the King and said, “King Refugius, I think you need to re-think this ‘Running of the Manticores’ at next year’s festival. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.”
The King laughed in tension-filled relief, “I’ll take that under advisement.”
Autolycus sighed. Knowing he was there to steal from the King and worried that another fit of bad luck might befall him; Autolycus decided it was time to leave the kingdom of Zoolatria. “Well, I’d like to say it’s been fun, but I can’t, so I’m outta here.” Autolycus said and then turned to leave.
“Where’s Menagerie?” Iolaus asked in concern.
“Right here,” the Queen of Zoolatria said as she walked up and stood beside her King. She put a gentle arm around her daughter and pulled her protectively close. Behind the Queen were several of the King’s premier guards. “I thought you might need some help, but I can see the heroes Hercules, Iolaus and Autolycus came to the rescue again.”
“See, Autolycus. You can’t leave. You’re a hero,” Iolaus said and nudged the thief.
“If it’s all the same to you Iolaus, you and Hercules can keep the hero status. I thought it would be fun, you know, being hero for a day, but it’s hard work. I’d just like to go back to being…”
“The King of Thieves?” The King of Zoolatria finished. “Yes, Autolycus, I knew. But it really doesn’t matter what your name is whether it be the King of Thieves or not. You are still a hero by any other name. We’ve seen that today. You will be welcome in this kingdom and treated as a hero, whether or not you believe you are.”
King Refugius patted the King of Thieves’ shoulder. “Now, we have a museum opening to attend.” He began steering Autolycus toward the museum.
Iolaus and Hercules tagged behind. They listened as the King of Zoolatria and Autolycus spoke quietly.
“You know, I’m really sorry about everything that has happened to you. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” the King asked.
“You have a ‘get out of jail free’ card?” Autolycus responded.
Iolaus spoke softly to Hercules, “With Autolycus’ bad luck, he might want to make that a whole coupon book, not just a card.”
Iolaus then laughed to himself as the heroes and the royal family continued in silence toward the museum.
THE END
