1. Abolishing the F.C.C.
FCC stands for 'Federal Communications
Commission'. This group decided all by
itself to violate the first amendment
rite to freedom of speech; because they
got a letter from a reverend in
Mississippi. Reverend Donald Wildman
didn't like what he heard on the radio
one day. Well reverend didn't anyone
tell you that their are TWO KNOBS on
the radio? I know the reverend must have
felt uncomfortable around anything with
two knobs on it. But, there are two
knobs on a radio; one turns it off and
the other CHANGES THE STATION. Imagine
that reverend you can actually change
the station; it's called freedom of
choice and it's in the constitution,
look it up in your library if your not
too busy burning all the books!
2. Abolishing Bumper Stickers:
Oh boy, we have bumper stickers lets put
more out there, wouldn't wanna get out
there on the road without reading
material for other drivers now would we?
Let's see what we can remember from our
journeys on the road..here's kind of an
intellectual one
"Honk if your horn is broken"
...that outta keep the average american
for about a mile and a half.
"I found him I have Jesus in the trunk"
And my favorite bumper sticker
"I'd rather be driving"
,usually guys having that one have on a
shirt that says,
" Same shit, different day"
. And of course the three most puke
inducing words known to man
"Baby on Board"
.I don't know what yuppie cock-sucker
came up with that one
"Baby on board""Child in car"
..who gives a FUCK! I certainly don't.
You know what these morons are saying to
you don't you? There actually saying to
you,
"We know your a shitty driver most of
the time,but because we have a child
here we expect you to straighten out for
a little while"
...you know what I do when I see that? I
drive'em right into a fucking
tree.Bounce that kid around a little
bit, give him a sense of reality.. LIFE
DOESN'T CHANGE BECAUSE YOU POST A
FUCKING SIGN! You know I'm supposed to
alter my driving habits because some
woman forgot to put her diaphragm in,
isn't that nice, a treat for me. Why
don't you put up an honest sign
"ASSHOLE AT THE WHEEL".
3.. Abolish All Warning Labels:
People talk about how this new
generation is inferior. So many are
wondering how we can make a better batch
for future generations. Well I got the
way to go; abolish all warning labels.
Back in the old days the retardenly
stupid were killed off before they could
breed their inferior genes onto to the
next generation, but with the
advancement of the lawsuit and
liberalism we now protect these nimrods
from their own moronic fate. Does any
intelligent, fucking sane person, really
need to be told not to digest liquid
drano??? I doubt it, and if someone dies
cause they did, then
good-fuckin-riddens. Their recently was
a story...now hold onto your pussy,and
cocks cause this is a keeper. Their
recently was a story out of London,
England where a teenage boy died from an
overdose...on deodorant. I'm not making
this up. Apparently this young boy
suffered from OCD (Obsessive Compulsion
Disorder) and he felt that he was never
"clean enough". He sprayed so much
deodorant onto his arms and body that
when police found him there were 15
empty cans on his floor. But here's yet,
funnier shit. His parents said that
"He just wanted to smell good for his
classmates, they should make those
warning labels bigger"
. No you dumb back-woods limey bitch
they shouldn't have had them at all;
your son was a fucking freak and you
should have known it and taken him to a
fucking psychologist. If we rid
ourselves of these labels and helmet and
seat belt laws then we can eliminate the
rather more screwy sector of our
population.
4. Legalization of drugs:
Now don't think I'm some hippy looking
to get high without the "law" gunning
for me. The reason drugs should be legal
is because A. the war on drugs cost
trillions and has never worked in any
country at any time in mankind. B.
because prisons are over crowded with
harmless junkies who get better "shit"
while in prison, while our states let
out the child molesters and rapist
because of over crowding. and C. because
if we let dumb fuckers use and abuse
drugs daily with no threat of jail then
they will die off in record numbers and
our country will be a safe place again.
Legalize it so we can get rid of actors
like Charlie Sheen and Leonardo DiFagio.
5. Official Porn Day:
I believe we should not only destroy
laws, but replace them with some new; so
in edition to drugs, we will make a law
called Porn Day. On this day all men
will sit with their children and watch a
good porno flick (5 star rated ones of
course, can't let our kids see filth).
When I see American History X which
glorifies the Natzi movement more so
than showing how it's wrong (which was
also pointed out by Siskel and Ebert) I
see how many of our younger citizens are
being brain washed into thinking violent
thoughts. But to see a young child's
face when he sees double penetration is
priceless. When a young sprout witnesses
the joys of anal sex for the first time
it can't be missed.
"Hey Jenny, see how she's licking his
balls like that? She really digs him."
See that's the kind of quality time you
gotta spend with your kids or else they
grow up all fucked up and raping and
killing instead of sitting at home and
jerking off all over themselves.
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