Stepping out in front of a speeding car in the rain, leaving no time for their wet brakes to catch. Being the "innocent bystander" in an armed robbery, the one who walks in at the worst possible moment. Or maybe being bitten by a deadly snake or attacked by a rabid wolf...any of those would do. But they're just not happening. I couldn't count the number of times I've prayed for some freak accident to befall me, or the courage to take that step off the Riverbed Bridge when nobody's around. I must admit I may be too big a wuss for that or I'd have done it by now. But there are less violent ways too. I'm just sick of this shithole they call life, I'd rather be dead. It's not like anyone would miss me.
"Teddy, are you paying attention?"
*sigh* "Yes, Miss Hackney." I look down at the book on my desk and pretend to be following along to escape that totally unconvinced look she always gives me. Can't she just leave me alone for once, I shouldn't even be here today. My life's a mess, I feel like shit, and frankly I'm not having the best morning.
Today's definitely the day, and I know just how I'll do it. Right after school I'll just disappear and no one will find me till long after it's too late. I won't ever have to go home again, I hate that place most of all. He's been even worse than usual lately and I just can't take it anymore! I mean, I miss the bus this morning cuz I'm busy puking in the bathroom and that bastard throws me in the truck and drives me here anyways. What the fuck?? Whatever, this is the perfect escape. I'll be rid of him, everyone else will be rid of me, and all our lives will be better.
"Hey, we're on page 54 now." Bright Eyes whispers as she points to my prominantly displayed page 46. Oh who the hell cares?? Rolling my eyes at her I slam the book closed. Why can't everyone just get the fuck off my back?!? And when the hell did it get so hot in here?
Bright Eyes retreats her attentions back to her own book, a little put-off by Teddy's reaction. After all, she was only trying to keep him from getting into any more trouble. What was his problem today anyway? He was being even more disruptive than usual. She soon fears she may have only made matters worse as everyone in the room jumps at the sound of the slamming book.
Great, now not only am I starting to feel sick again but everyone seems to be out to piss me off too! I'm two seconds away from just getting up and walking out of the room in the middle of class when Ace leans over towards me. "What are you doing? Are you trying to get suspended??"
"That'd work for me!"
Before I know it, a shadow is cast over me. Looking up I discover the shadow's angry owner, Miss Hackney. She doesn't say a word to me, simply points to the door. By now I definitely know what that means. I don't even bother to gather my books, just grab my bag and head to the principle's office.
Well this is just peachy, now I have to sit through one of his stupid lectures too. Wait, why am I going there anyway? What's he gonna do if I never show up? Give me detention again? Sorry assholes, but you can't give detention to someone who's dead! I walk past the principle's office on my way to the front door of the school. As I get to the end of the lockers I stop for a minute to lean up against the wall, fighting off the wave of nausea that's overtaken me. Damn, maybe I'd better sit down for a minute. I slide down to the floor and close my eyes. What's wrong with me? I never get sick.
