ANNOUNCER: Hello, music fans, and welcome to today's action-packed Boy Band Face-Off. Today, The Backstreet Boys will take on their arch-rivals 'N Sync in a series of GRUELING competitions. In each round, the teams will be judged on proper boy band behavior, cheering on their fellow band members, appearance, and of course, whether or not they win their event!
JC: (To his teammates) This'll be a cinch.
JOEY: Ya think so?
JC: Of course. Just keep smiling and DON'T hit on anybody.
JOEY: Okay, JC.
AJ: (quietly to Brian) I'm worried, Rok. We're gonna lost the first round for sure.
BRIAN: Have faith in Nick, AJ. He'll do fine!
AJ: But, it's a BATTLE OF WITS!!
BRIAN: You're right. We're screwed. Nick's a moron.
ANNOUNCER: Okay, let's bring up our first two contestants! From 'N Sync, everyone's favorite curly-haired cutie. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!
JC: (cheering) YEAH! JUSTIN!
CHRIS: WOOHOO!!!
ANNOUNCER: And, from the Backstreet Boys, blonde crooner NICK CARTER!!!
KEVIN: (halfheartedly cheering) Yeah, Nick. Go Buddy!
HOWIE: (quietly to Kevin) Cheer louder, man. We'll lose points.
BRIAN: GO FRACK! (under his breath) Just don't ask him what my birthday is.
KEVIN: (to Brian) We'll......lose anyway. Remember the trivia.....contest on.......MTV? Nick's......a moron.
ANNOUNCER: Okay, let's get this trivia contest started! Hands on buzzers. Question number one. Without looking, name all five of the Backstreet Boys.
NICK: (ringing in) Scary, Sporty, Freaky, Leaky, and Zeke.
ANNOUNCER: I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Justin?
JUSTIN: Nick, AJ, Kevin, Howie, and Brian.
NICK: Hey! GUYS! He Just named all of us!! HA!
JUSTIN: That was the question. Name the Backstreet Boys? (quietly) Moron.
ANNOUNCER: Justin, you are correct.
NSYNC: YEAH!!!!
ANNOUNCER: Question number two. Teen Queen Britney Spears used to be on what TV variety show?
NICK: (ringing in then staring blankly at the announcer)
ANNOUNCER: Yes, Nick?
NICK: (continuing to stare)
AJ: NICK! YOU'RE A MORON!
BRIAN: Just give 'N Sync the points and let's move on.
ANNOUNCER: Alright, alright. Nick, Justin, thank you. The score after round one, taking into account...
NICK: (interuppting) DAWSON'S CREEK! That's the answer!
JUSTIN: It's the Mickey Mouse Club, you idiot.
CHRIS: WOOHOO! JUSTIN RULES!
ANNOUNCER: Ahem!! Standings after round one, taking into account all four areas of juding, the Backstreet Boys have two points, and N Sync is on the board with four points. On to Round Two. Please welcome to the stage Brian Littrell and JC Chasez!
KEVIN: GO BRIAN! THAT'S MY COUSIN UP THERE!
AJ: (to Kevin) Calm down, Kev. I think you go through that sentence with no pauses.
KEVIN: Sorry.....but...Brian's my.....cousin.
CHRIS: (leading N Sync in a cheer) JC JC, he's our man! He can warble like He-Man!
JUSTIN: Did He-Man warble?
CHRIS: Whatever. GO JC!!!!
ANNOUNCER: Okay, Brian, JC, we'll be giving you a note. Your job is to hold that note, warbling as you see fit, for as long as possible.
AJ: We're screwed, again. This contest has to be rigged.
NICK: GO JC!!
HOWIE: Cheer for Brian, you idiot.
NICK: Oh, yeah...duh! GO BRIAN! Sorry, guys.
AJ: (to Howie) I'm gonna kill him. One of these days, he'll be asleep on the bus, and i'm just gonna smother that little....
HOWIE: Shhhhhh, we'll lose points!
LANCE: This one's ours. JC is the man! JOEY! Stop hitting on that girl! She's only 15!!
JOEY: Huh? What? Oh, yeah, go JC!
LANCE: Great...there goes our proper Boy Band Behavior point. Things just go to HELL when JC's not here.
ANNOUNCER: (at the close of the round, Brian gasping for breath and JC still singing) Okay, okay, that's enough!! This round goes to JC Chasez of 'N Sync!
NSYNC: WOO HOO!!!! (they do the happy dance....click here to see Justin demonstrate)
ANNOUNCER: So, the standings after two rounds are 'N Sync: 7, BSB: 4. Now let's bring up AJ Maclean and Joey Fatone for the FACIAL HAIR UPKEEP COMPETITION!
BSB: (assorted cheers) GO AJ! Work that goatee! You're the MAN! etc.
JC: They are gonna win this one.
JUSTIN: Don't say that. Just cheer for Joey.
LANCE: Yeah, and keep smiling. We don't want to lost our appearence point.
CHRIS: At least we know with Joey on stage, we can't lose our behavior point, unless JC has another momentary lapse of judgement and commands two girls to freak...
JC: SHUT UP!!!!!
CHRIS: Yessir.
ANNOUNCER: (carefully inspecting Joey and AJ's goatees) Mmm hmmm. Interesting. I Like what you've done here. I award the title of Best Facial Hair to AJ MACLEAN!
NICK: ALRIGHT, HOWIE!
HOWIE: Dude, that's AJ.
NICK: Oh.....yeah.
KEVIN: Moron.
BRIAN: WAY TO GO AJ!
JC:It's okay, Joey. We'll get 'em in the next round.
JUSTIN: Don't let us down, Chris.
CHRIS: I won't.
ANNOUNCER: After three rounds, N Sync is still in the lead with a score of 8 to 10. And, now, in the running for WORST HAIRDO, Chris Kirkpatrick and Howie Dorough!
JUSTIN: Chris has to have the worst hairdo. All Howie has is long hair. It's not braided or anything.
JC: Sportmanship, Justin. We'll lose points.
JUSTIN: Sorry.
AJ: Howie's ugly mop will definately win this contest.
KEVIN: Go.......Howie!
ANNOUNCER: Oh, this is not a hard decision at all. Howie Dorough definatley has the ugliest hair! (under his breath) Not to mention the ugliest overall look. (back out loud) I award the points to the Backstreet team!
BSB: ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!
HOWIE: I knew growing this ugly hair would pay off!
JC: Lance, don't let us down in this next event! It's the last one!
LANCE: It's in the bag!
ANNOUNCER: It's all tied up at 12 to 12. From this point, it's anybody's game. For the next contest "How Low Can You Go?", let's bring up Lance Bass and Kevin Richardson.
AJ: Ii's all you, Kev!
BRIAN: GO COUSIN KEVIN!!
ANNOUNCER: Okay, this contest is a little different than you would expect. What we want you to do is tell us the lowest, most un-boy band thing you've ever done.
LANCE: Oh, boy. (hangs head in shame) I....told the world about my girlfriend on Jay Leno.
ANNOUNCER: Oh, that is pretty bad. Kevin.
KEVIN: Well, I.....uh, I've.....
AJ: DON'T SAY IT KEVIN!!
KEVIN: I....uh....I have had.....
AJ: KEVIN! NO!!
KEVIN: I've had sex!
AJ: SHIT!
N SYNC: WOO HOO! WE WIN WE WIN WE WIN!!
ANNOUNCER: Well, there you have it folks, by a score of 15 to 14, N Sync has beat out the Backstreet Boys for title of Best Boy Band!
