Oh my god...he's NINTEEN!!

...and still a freakin' idiot.

Yes, that's right. Our darling curly-haired friend Justin turns 19 today. Yippie skippy! Maybe now the 18-year-old crack will wear off and the boy will be sullen and moody once again. I'll tell you what I want for his birthday. The opportunity to attack his hair with Bumble and Bumble Straight and a hair dryer. I'd love to see how long that mop is. Anyhow, in the grand tradition of Keepin' it Real, we now bring you...

Justin's Top Ten Birthday Gifts

10. Some different colored bandanas to hide that mop on top. That tan one is just gettin' nasty.

9. Courtside seats to Da Lakahs...courtesy of Kobe, the big ol' lug!

8. A new set of clubs. "The key to a good putt. In the hole."

7. Three more dark blue denim jackets...so he doesnt have to keep wearing the same one over and over and over....

6. Some mad phat rims for da Benz. (Like that ride could BE any more fly.)

5. A copy of "The Fifth Element"...from Chris...so the can practice singing like "The Diva."

4. A special gift from Trace: A free meal at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Yummmmmm. (Best friends always know just what you need, huh?)

3. Another shirt with a fork on it. Shirts with forks on them kick butt! (Teehee, Nati.)

2. A special Cap'n Crunch endorsement deal. A lifetime supply in return for one commercial: "Justy and The Cap'n make it happen."

1. Gettin' down wit' OBT. (Unfortunately, this will only be funny to Natalie and Me. But oh, well....Deal with it!)

Humah...oh yeah....uh huh.

We love us some index.