Test Subject # 1: really
Test Subject # 1:i know lots of funny people
Ami: are they ORIGINALLY from Ohio?
Test Subject # 1: yes
Ami: tell me a funny story
Test Subject # 1: i dont know any
Test Subject # 1: sorry i'm no help
Ami: well, anywho...thank you for you time!
(Obviously, this is a perfect example of our theory. He's from Ohio...claims to know funny people, yet can't some up with anything TRULY funny to tell me. Thanks, Buckaroo, for making the theory work for me!)
Ami: we are under the impression that no one ORIGINALLY from Ohio is funny enough to make me laugh uncontrollably for hours upon hours
Test Subject #2: ok?
Ami: so...are you originally form Ohio?
Test Subject #2: yah
Ami: are you funny?
Test Subject #2: well everyone i talk to say i am
Ami: hmm..can you tell me a funny story right now
Test Subject #2: well why don't ya tell me if ya wanna send me a pic of yourself
Ami: I'm ocnducting scientific research here
Test Subject #2: yeah ok
Ami: so, can you tell me anything funny?
Test Subject #2: umm..sure
Test Subject #2: so what's in it for me?
Ami: the joy of knowing you helped with a scientific investigation
Test Subject #2: why don't ya just call me on the phone and i'll make you laugh
Ami: alrighty. That's all I need. Thank you for your time!
(Okay, hitting on people is not funny. We know 98 Degrees can hit on girls...so we already knew that men from Ohio had hormones! Jeez, get the right theory in your brain, Mister!!!)
Test Subject #3: yes, extremely
Sammi: my friend ami begs to differ
Sammi: try and tell me a joke
Test Subject #3: uh
Test Subject #3: what do you find funny..
Sammi: i dunno
Sammi: say whatever and i'll tell u if i laugh
Test Subject #3: whatever
Sammi: yea, that's so not funny
Test Subject #3: mr. flibble's very cross. You shouldn't have run away from him....
Test Subject #3: What should we do with them Mr. Flibble?
Test Subject #3: ....Oh we can't possibly do that..
Test Subject #3: WHo'd clean up the mess?
Sammi: um, ok
Sammi: i have this theory that people from ohio aren't funny
Test Subject #3: ohh, i see
Test Subject #3: are you from oh
Test Subject #3: And who gave you the power to judge humor?
Sammi: ok, thanks!
Sammi: bye bye
(Sammi e-mailed me her chat with a random Ohioan...and it frightened me. I only posted about one-third of it...but...it helps the theory a bit. Have you ever read stories about 98 Degrees where Jeff has done something outrageuoly off-the-wall and stupid to try to be funny? Well, that's what this guy reminded me of. Jeff...trying to hard to be funny....and in essence, still proving that no one from Ohio is ACTUALLY funny.)
Test Subject #4: sure
Ami: are you originally from Ohio?
Test Subject #4: yeah
Ami: Can you tell me a joke or a funny story or aomething like that?
Test Subject #4: i could try
Ami: go for it!
Ami: reach for the stars!
Test Subject #4: i'm a funny guy, i'm just a situational comic
Test Subject #4: i need to be there
Ami: so, tell me a story about a time you were ther..tell me something funny you've done
Test Subject #4: we've called Taco Bell to see if we could rent the store for a birthday party
Test Subject #4: then asked if the little dog would be there
Ami: that's pretty funny
Test Subject #4: i'm one of those people who just makes little comments at funny times
Test Subject #4: for the most part
Ami: right on
Ami: well, you've been most insightful..thanks for your help!
(Okay, I've got to admit, this guy was very nice. But, he wasn't really funny. He didn't really tell me anything that could easily be twisted and turned into a idea for a humor site. I mean, i'm certain the guys in 98 Degrees are nice, too, but nice does not equal funny.)
(I didn't even IM this guy. His profile *yes..that's what that is* said it all. NOT FUNNY!!!)
Test Subject #6: i dont know if this can be done, but i will try, what is it
Ami: Well, The Ohio Theory is that no one ORIGINALLY from Ohio is funny.
Ami: Are you originally from Ohio?
Test Subject #6: yes i am
Ami: Are you funny?
Test Subject #6: depending on the time you catch me, y?
Ami: can you tell me a funny story right now?
Test Subject #6: probley, but i dont see why i should
Ami: to help us disprove that no one from Ohio is funny
Test Subject #6: sorry to dissopoint but, i find this hidiously ignorant and fruitless, i dont tell jokes on command. plus jokes arent funny, wit is. jokes meerly bring a smile.
Ami: Okay, then...thank you for your time!
(This guy was MEAN MEAN MEAN! After I said thank you and tried to leave, he kept IM-ing me, telling me I was wasting his and everyone else's time with my stupid theory. I was wasting his time? Then why the hell was he yelling at me for hours? Dumbass. Apprently, there's dumbasses in Ohio..but not funny ones.)
Test Subject #7: sure
Ami: are you originally from Ohio?
Test Subject #7: yeah
Ami: can you tell me a funny story? somthing that will make me laugh?
Test Subject #7: why?
Ami: Well, I've got a notion that no one from Ohio is funny
Ami: I need someone to help me disprove that
Test Subject #7: i dont know
Ami: you do't have any funny stories?
Test Subject #7: i cant think of any right now
Ami: thanks for your time!!
(Just another basic example. Most of these guys were totally nice, but none of them could make me laugh. It must be a sad state of affairs in Ohio.)
Test Subject #8: ok
Ami: are you originally from Ohio?
Test Subject #8: yes
Ami: can you tell us a funny anecdote or a joke?
Test Subject #8: umm....
Test Subject #8: only dirty ones at this time of night
Test Subject #8: wait...
Test Subject #8: oops...
Test Subject #8: I just thought of one...
Ami: okay
Test Subject #8: what did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
Ami: i dunno
Test Subject #8: DAM!
Ami: well, that's all we needed...thanks for your time!!
(Okay, I have to tell you that this guy's joke made me smile. Not because it was all-out funny, but because of the effort. I mean, what a dorky little joke to tell when trying to be funny. I smiled, but I didn't laugh. Valiant effort, Home Sprout, but, no cigar.)
Test Subject #9: surely
Ami: are you originally from Ohio?
Test Subject #9: yeah
Ami: can you tell me a joke or a funny story?
Test Subject #9: sure,,,why?
Ami: to prove that SOMEONE from Ohio is funny
Test Subject #9: heheh
Test Subject #9: ok little johhny and his grandpa were fishing one day. and grandpa cracks open a beer, little johnny asks "grandpa can i have a beer?" grandpa replies"can your dick touch your asshole?" and little johhny replies "no" and grandpa says "well until it can u cant have a beer." So they continued fishing and grandpa pulls out his pipe, packs it and lites it up, little johhny asked grandpa"grandpa, can i have a hit off your pipe?", an grandpa asks johhny "johnny can your dick touch your asshole? johhny replies no an grandpa says "until it can you cant hav a hit off my pipe." So little johnny pulls out some cookies an granpa asks"can i have a cookie johnnie?" an johnnie asks granpa"granpa can your dick touch your asshole?" an granpa says yes, so lil johnnie says "granpa then go fuck yourself!!!!!!"
Ami: well, thank you for your time! Talk to you later!
(Okay, guess what? That joke is not funny. I bet I didn't have to tell you that. Why do guys think jokes like that qualify as funny? Oh, well, whatever.)
Test Subject #10: sure whats the theory
Ami: are you originally from Ohio??
Test Subject #10: born and raised
Ami: score! Can you tell us a joke or a funny story about your childhood?
Test Subject #10: I was dropped on my head I don't know
Ami: We're trying to find at least one funny person in the entire state of Ohio..so far...we've failed
Test Subject #10: I am more of a on thespot kinda guy, I need to know a person before I relax enough to be funny I guess
Ami: hmmm, that makes sense
Ami: well, thanks for your time and your insights!! later!
(This guy then proceeded to tell me that all boy bands must die..and that he knew a guy who went to school with one of the guys from 98 Degrees. I asked him if that guy remembered if the 98 Degrees guy was funny, and he ignored me. Chump!)