So....you're a first timer, eh? Well, that's ok, there's a first time for everything, and this just happens to be your first visit to Rob's Quote Archive. Or perhaps, you came back to this page because you didn't read it all the first time, or because you ignored it. Or maybe.....just maybe.....maybe you're just sick. That's right....you're demented....strange.....insane......so, in other words, we love you!

   But enough kidding around, you want an introduction to the place. Well....you may not actually want one, but you're getting one anyway. So basically, this will outline, for all you people out there, just what goes on around here, and what happens.

   Well, I might as well start at the beginning, with the quotes. That's what the whole website is really about, the quotes. It all started when Rob decided he wanted to have a website, cause he didn't. And he was always looking at cool websites....furthering his jealousy. That had to stop. So Rob made crappy little shit website after crappy little shit website, until he stumbled upon something. People he knew said funny things....all the time.....never ending. So he thought he'd make a website about them. So he did. And this is the product of the insanity that is his roller-coaster soap opera of a life. Enjoy. Click the obvious button below to get to said quotes.

   Next we come to another section of the website, the Quotely Hall of Fame. It is here where the true champions of "quotely goodness" are decided upon and enshrined. Well, they're actually enshrined on another separate page, but it's all the same to you. So if you're smart enough, fast enough, and if you've got the guts, then maybe you can Win Ben Stein's Mon-....wait a minute, wrong promo here. *shakes head wildly, clearing thoughts* There, so if you think you can decide which quotes are the best, come to the Hall of Fame and vote for the hometown boy.

Gratuitiously small fine print: Excessive voting for onesself is strictly prohibited and may be punishable by you being forced to listen to Rob sing. Be forewarned. It will not be pretty.

   Then there's another fun part of the page, the voting section! Go out and ROCK THE VOTE as MTV once said (i think). But the important thing is that you excercise your Rob-Given right to vote for the important issues, like which is the best of the 7 Deadly Sins. So go there, and express your opinions.

   I guess I better slip this one in now, before I get so bored of it that I just utterly destroy it. This is the boring page, the updates page. The one I know none of you really go to.....so why do I bother to put it there? Because....in case anybody actually WANTS to know how the Archive has been improved since their last visit...that's where they go. It serves a purpose, although not a popular one. Henceforth, it stays. To access these historical records, simply click on the button below.

   Now, this next part of the page is also very important, but you MUST NEVER EVER EVER EVER USE IT! NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER! Ok....so maybe I'm over-reacting....just a tad, but I just don't want you to leave once I've gotten you all wrapped up here. I am of course speaking of our lovely Links section, which will speed you to insanity and (believe it or not), some actually USEFUL information from time to time. Unfortunately for you, it takes you away from the quote archive, but I know you'll be back.....they always come back.....mwuahahahahahahahaha.....

   This next part of the page is a very important one, for you see....it offers detailed instructions as to how to commit others to my asylum. This page offers you a method, ney, a chance, to spread the word of the quotely goodness on your own webpages all around the globe, creating a better world, a world of peace, harmony, and quotely goodness. I am of course speaking of the Banners Page. I've had several banners made for the site, none of which I've had to get off my lazy ass and make myself. (Thank God.) So thanks to those who've made them, and the coding for using them is on the page reachable by the obvious button indicated below.

   This next section is rather.....unique, to say the least. There comes a time in the life of every website, where it receives/finds/creates some content that just won't....fit.....into any of the other categories. This next page is where those funny or just plain interesting things will go that just don't work with the other items on the page. You'll understand when you get there, the stuff just doesn't belong. If this was that Sesame Street Game, they'd be the one thing outta three that gets pitched. So, if you're brave enough, head off to a little page I like to call: "And Now For Something Completely Different......"

   This next page showcases the literary talents of yours truly, and a select, if not ELITE grouping of others. I am of course speaking of the brand, SPANKING new Writings section. Inside you'll find poetry, stories, and anything else that qualifies by Rob and Co. Go. Now. Click There. Or Pay The Ultimate Price.

   And finally, the page you came from, the Main Page. There isn't much of an explanation required for this page, for it is mainly just a portal to the rest of the site. However, it does feature Rob's ever-growing list of nicknames (some of which have never been used or only once, it doesn't matter though), our beloved Guestbook, and the lovely hit counter which shows you just how many people have decided to come and visit me. There is also a link with which to email me, I do so love to get fan mail, so feel free to drop me a line.

   Well, this is Rob, signing out. I hope you enjoy the archive, I've put alot of my blood, sweat, and tears into it, so it better please you.....or else......there will be.....unpleasantness.......