Respectfully signed,

Everybody's favourite deadman,
The eternal niceguy,
He fights with the fury of a thousand were-cows,
The new and improved hammer of justice,
The man who is gonna get carpel-tunnel syndrome from updating this place,
The Inter-Gender Wrestling CHAMPION OF THE WORLD,
The man who eats like a Saiyan...partially cause he is one,
The ever-lovable "Ass of Custard the Dragon",
The Spare Crane....with no spare change,
Anna Louisa Franchesca Banana-Fana-Bo-Besca The Third,
Girlie man extraordinaire,
The air hockey champion of 2 continents and 4 countries (with the minor exception of Greg Jeeves's basement),
Mr. Hallmark,
The ghoul with a heart of gold,
Every woman's personal doormat,
Spineless lacky to the great Anikka/Laura (Air Hockey Champion of Greg Jeeves's basement)
Prop-boy,
The guy who most definately does NOT scamper,
The poor sap who lost his dignity (ALL OF IT) Friday, April 7th, 2000,
The boy known only as "The Attendance Student" to Mrs. Z,
Babushka,
One of the only two members of the Bacon McPosse who was not present on the original night of the incident, (Sorry about the screwup Tisha)
The cute one,
A proud member of Team Us,
The only one silly enough to wear a ceramic plate as a hat,
The guy who (according to everyone else at his birthday party) was dating his clone,
The man who insisted that the wild orgy at his party be ceased immediately...or there would be no pizza,
The guy with too many mental problems of his own to be a psychiatrist,
The guy who is easily distracted by shiny things.......ooh, thparkly.......,
Your next Dark Lord of the Sith,
Your very first Preist of Seiryuu,
The one charged with keeping "Psycho Smarmy Jackass Rob" locked up tight,
The greatest spinless lackey (LACKEY! NOT BASTARD! GET IT RIGHT BEN!) who ever lived,
A great source of cheap entertainment,
A "sky-guy" believer,
Assassin Jay's agent,
A member of "The Conspiracy",
A proud martyr for the recent bomb threat at his school,
Someone who knows that 16 and 3 don't equal 20,
He mutters....don't trust him,
Would be owner of a Coolass Egg Car AND a Time-Travelling Delorean,
Proud discoverer of the "thoch",
Equally as hot you,
A boycotter of Spanish Porno Movies,
A lover of "tight pants" and "hot asses" well...at least according to Rhett,
The true Canadian Badass,
The "good cop" in charge of interrogating Stuart Little on the whereabouts of his non-gas requiring car,
The winner of the first umbrella duel of all time,
A boring virgin,
The one and only worshipper of the Universe's Greatest Water Fountain,
"Tina's Rob",
"Lori's Got-...whaddaya mean "Tina's Rob"?
An evolutionized monkey,
The old Rob,
The only person at "GropeFest 2000" and "GropeFest 2001" not having a good time,
Still suspicious that Peter and Wes have plans to gangrape him,
The soon to be owner of the springy pen, the bandana, and the baby! Mwuahahahaha!,
He was there when it was raining in the walls,
Clay-Mation used for pure anarchy, insanity, destruction, malice, and hatred,
The Exception to Every Rule,
Dorean: Fourth Circle Apprentice of House and Clan Tremere, aka "Punishment Boy",
Shawn's.....Son.....well.....according to Shawn anyway,
An initiate in the ancient arts of "Southern Bonics" and "Tai-Flee",
Someone who needs his eyeballs,
He with finger on the button,
Not popular enough to be different,
Omnipotent, Incompetent, and Impotent,
The best rapee,
The Masked Avenger!,
Jessimine's Punching/Kick-Boxing bag,
The Official Chron X Punching Bag....a title proudly earned by getting the crap beaten out of him,
"Is Not Chicago",
A proud "Customer Care Representative" (aka: Gas Pumper) at Townline Sunoco,
He won a blowup mallet at the CNE for not being strong,
A paradox in grey/white/no socks,
"Sweet Chicken" (according to Crystal anyway),
"Non-Descript Funny Guy" (whatever the heck that means Jess),
Robert "I am Jack's painfully un-updated website" Dowsett,
A cute performer when doing the "I'm A Little Teapot" song,
The future boring, nerdy, annoying, backroom accountant for Jessimine and Tina's Lingerie store,
Bri's favourite effeminate wussy,
Everybody's favourite gas bitch,
Secretly Superman (and when I go crazy.....you damn well better still call me it....),
Proud discoverer of the month of October,
Possessor of the phantom status traits cushiony and sturdy,
A useless Tremere and a creepy Malkavian,
M'Hael to the Asha'man and Head Warder to Sikona Sedai of the Green Ajah,
And lastly, but most definately not leastly, the guy who loves women, very, very much,

Rob Dowsett