" *throws stuff at other person in the class* " ~Random person in accounting class.
"Psst....don't throw stuff." ~Ms. Cole. She's my accounting teacher.
"Yeah, don't throw stuff." *immediately throw stuff at the person who was just warned* ~Other people in accounting class

"How can we draw God Mike, nobody knows what God looks like." ~Me
"Sure we do, he looks like that guy with the fork from The Little Mermaid." ~Mike

"Thats what i thought. So, sup?" ~Tina
" *rants furiously* I'm getting tired of saying this every time, but nothing much." ~Me
" *laughs* Thats probably because thats what's usually going on, unless you strike some chord of communications your doomed for saying it forever." ~Tina

"Even in space, Rob! Even in space!" ~Tina
"The more you say that, the more you ruin the inside joke." ~Me
"If I'm not saying the whole thing, how am I ruining it?" ~Tina
"Just say it! 'Even in space you're whipped Rob!' And are you going to tell them about how in the history assignment you were commander because you said so? And that I carried your oxygen because you said so?" ~Me
"Oh, and I'm the one ruining it." ~Tina

"Rob.....can I borrow that dollar? Here, I'm jumping up and down." ~Tina
"Yes, I will also be jumping up and down for the dollar." ~Crystal
" *confused look on face* Why are you two jumping up and down like that?" ~Me
"Because we're females, and females are more appealing when they're jumping up and down Rob." ~Tina
"Yup!" ~Crystal
"Oh, now you're gonna give her the dollar because she jumps up and down better, aren't ya Rob?" ~Tina
" *confused still* Whatever......just take the money. Or you could fight over it! *evil grin* "~Me. Hey! I can have a little fun every once in awhile 8) Although winning the best 2 out of 3 falls, Crystal ended up not receiving the dollar, she was sad and pouty, but Tina shared the food she purchased with her anyway. Rob did not receive any of the food.

"We want 100,000 tons of uranium." ~Random country
"What for?" ~Canada
"Um....we're building playgrounds, yes, that's it, radioactive playgrounds." ~Random country
"Are you sure you aren't building nuclear weapons with evil sinister intentions to take over the world?" ~Canada
"Yes, yes, of course. We're building playgrounds, so just give us our uranium before we nuke your asses to death!" ~Random country
"Wha?" ~Canada
"Oh nothing.... *innocent look* " ~Random country
"Ok, here's your uranium. *looks the other way while random country builds nukes* " ~Canada

"Whoever just witnessed that.....did not witness that." ~Tina
" *wasn't paying attention to her* Witness what?" ~me
"That's what I like to hear." ~Tina

"Carpé diem Brad, carpé diem." ~Me
"Yo quiro taco bell?" ~Brad

"Jesse, you're not being an ass are you?" ~Me
"No, not at all, just defending my flesh." ~Jesse

"I'm incompetent." ~Me
"You do know what that means, right Rob?" ~Tina
"Yeah, it means I'm not competent." ~me
"No! I mean the OTHER thing that it means....." ~Tina
" *clues in* I said INCOMPETENT Tina, not IMPOTENT!" ~me

"So, you're teaching us how to launder money?" ~Me
"Well....yeah....I'm kinda....ok, so I am." ~McDonell. One of those history lessons gone horribly, horribly wrong.

"You can't." ~Me
"What?" ~Tina
"Get the net income figure without making an income statement." ~Me
" *lightbulb goes off in head* Pulp Fiction!" ~Tina

" *whispering* Rob....do you think they would mind if I turned on some lights in here?" ~Crystal
"No! We are the people of the night! Lights will blind us! *hisses at Crystal* " ~Me
" *bursts into laughter* Oh, you're so funny, I love ya! *hugs Rob* " ~Crystal. It was dark in the comp lab after school, she wanted light, I'm really a hideous sub-terranian vampiric creature with 3 inch fangs that is frightened of the light, what part  of that conversation don't you understand? ;)

"What if you attack them?" ~Jay
"Then its assault." ~McDonell
"What if you attack them and break their jaw?" ~Jay
"Then its assault with serious bodily harm, 5 to 10 years." ~McDonell
"Well....what if you attack them....and they break your jaw?" ~Me
"Then you're an idiot Rob!" ~McDonell

"Yup, they raped her, beat her, strangled her with her own bra, and lit her up....not a pretty story guys." ~McDonell
"Whoa, I'm not wearin a bra anymore!" ~Sara

" *walks outta the cafe with a grin on his face* " ~Me
"Rob, why are you grinning........? You just prayed for us.....didn't you?" ~Bri
"Well........yeah..........." ~Me
"Hey Tina! He just prayed for us!" ~Bri
"Damn him! Lets kick his ass!" ~Tina
" *runs away* " ~Me

Wearing clothes is a priviledge, not a right. ~Me
No, it's a punishment! ~Tina. Don't read too much into that.

" *pouty face* Why is Ben leaving?" ~Tina
"Probably because of the Evanization." ~Me

"So, you wanna be a fireman when you grow up Chris? Do you just wanna be a sexy man in a uniform? Or do you wanna fight fires?" ~Kadie
"Yup, that's it, I wanna find 'em hot.....and leave 'em wet." ~Meringer. Just the kind of thing you'd expect from him.....

" *flailing* " ~Rob & Tina
"Flail! Flail! Flail!" ~Rob
"This proves it! He's gay! Look! He's chick-fighting with me!" ~Tina
"Flail! Flail! Oh wait........no! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! *quietly* Flail!" ~Rob

"Hehe! Now that's 2 teachers that have called me an idiot!" ~Rob
Aw, you were asking for it." ~Ms. Cole

"You don't scare me....you're just a little....." ~Jason
".....different....." ~Jesse
"Yeah, that's it, different. You're a little creepy....." ~Jason
"Only a little? *pouts* " ~Rob
"He frightens me." ~Tina

"I'm on an 'honesty kick; right now Townley, if I've got something to say, I'll say it." ~Rob
"Are you STILL talking?" ~Townley

"Well what happens 6 months later when you break up? They say 'I thought you love me....' " ~Mrs. Z
"That's when you sit her down, explain what happened, eventually she'll understand." ~Darren
"No! Say April Fools!" ~Justin
"Psyche!" ~Natasha
"Psyche?" ~Rob
"Yes! Psyche!" ~Natasha
"You cruel, heartless people!" ~Rob
" *laughs* Hahahahahaha......I'm cruel!" ~Natasha

"So what time was Tina supposed to show up?" ~Brandon
"Well, the doors opened at 6, and she said: 'Don't bother showing up till 8, I'll be there around 8.' " ~Rob
"So what time is it now?" ~Brandon
" *checks his watch* 9:30." ~Rob
"She's late." ~Brandon
"Very." ~Rob
"I see." ~Brandon

"Brother/Sister relationships, I find, are either really, really close or........." ~Mrs. Z
".......or get out of my way before I kill you little munchkin." ~Rob

"But...but...but...but...but...but...but this isn't anything like Ally McBeal at all........ *pouts* " ~Rob
"That's because we're not breaking into a sexual fantasy in the middle of a courtroom session." ~McDonell. I was the assistant to Kamna, the crown attorney, and the few differences in the american justice system and the canadian system were making themselves known......

"Sneezy, Sleepy, Gro-" ~Rob
"Gropey?" ~Tina
"I meant Grumpy, or Dopey, can't remember which." ~Rob
"If it was 'Gropey' it would be all of my ex-boyfriends." ~Tina. Well....cept for good ol' Rob of course. *beams*

"Psst.....she's badgering the witness....." ~Tina
"The witness is badgering her!" ~Rob. Technically, we weren't even supposed to be talking to each other during the trial, me being the assistant to the crown prosecutor, and her being a jury member and all.....

"I was fine with Math until I opened the book and found out how impossible it is." ~Brett
"That's pessimism." ~Tina
"No, I'm optimistic." ~Brett
"Pessimistic...." ~Tina
"No! I'm an optimist.....I just realized how stupid I am!" ~Brett

"That's it Rob! You're gettin' knifed!" ~Majoire
"Ok Maj, meet ya at the spot." ~Rob
" *arrives at the spot* " ~Rob
" *blows Rob's head off with a shotgun* SHABAM! " ~Majoire. More Half-Life happenings....it was beautiful, it was great.

"I'm guilty of driving you guys way off topic here." ~Ms. Cole
"S'okay, we weren't listening anyway." ~Tina

"See? He's chick-fighting with me! Look!" ~Tina
" *sits there refusing to flail in front of on-lookers* " ~Rob
" *suckerpunches Rob in the chest* " ~Tina

"I know it's weird, it goes without saying." ~Rob
"No it doesn't, I say it all the time." ~Tina
"I know, we have to listen to it." ~Rob

"Uh.....your coat's on backwards." ~Mike
"Yeah....I know.....it was cold." ~Natasha. Are you as confused as to what this means as I am?

" *starts writing down a quote* " ~Rob
" DON'T........DO.................THAT...............................ROB......................." ~Jesse. Hehe, Jesse gets a little "perturbed" when I start quoting somebody.....specially him..... 8)

"And that's the end of that chapter....." ~Rob
" *flips to next page* No, no it isn't. There's more." ~Tina

" *bouncing in her chair* I'd better stop." ~Tina
"Why?" ~Rob
"It looks wrong." ~Tina
"Why? You're just bouncing slightly in your chair." ~Rob
"It's where I'm bouncing from." ~Tina
"You're sitting in a chair.......alone.......how can it look wrong?" ~Rob
" *sucks on her sucker* It just does. *stops bouncing* " ~Tina

"So what did you get Eva?" ~Rob
"87, you?" ~Eva
" *pouts* 83." ~Rob
"Now this is the part where you go 'Hahahahahahaha....hammer of justice." ~Rob
" *in a sarcastic tone, with no enthusiasm at all* Hahaha, hammer of justice." ~Eva
" *pouts* Once more, this time with feeling." ~Rob
"No." ~Eva
" *pouts* " ~Rob

"Ok, we need some help with those set pieces. I'd like some people to volunteer. Rob, I'd like you to volunteer, Jen, thank you for volunteering, you there, thank you for volunteering......." ~Mr. Sheridan. Drama teacher
"I volunteered?" ~Rob
"Oh, you were voluntold." ~Tina

" *down on one knee, her hands in Rob's* " ~Crystal
"She wants you to marry her Rob." ~Tina
"Ok." ~Rob
" *also gets down on one knee, and puts her hands in Rob's* Ooh, marry me too!" ~Tina
"Ok." ~Rob
" *Crystal and Tina stand up* Yay! We're gonna have a threesome with Rob!" ~Tina
"Yay!" ~Crystal
"Yay polygamy!" ~Rob
" *overhears just that part of the conversation* What?" ~Phil (Crystal's boyfriend).

" *holds out a sucker she's been sucking on* Nah, I don't want this. Do you want it Rob?" ~Tina
"But it's been IN YOUR MOUTH!" ~Rob
"My tongue has been IN YOUR MOUTH." ~Tina
"You have a valid point. *accepts sucker* " ~Rob

"Ah, that old lady in the library wouldn't know if it was me or Melissa on that library card." ~Sara
" *laughs a bunch* That was pretty funny......but don't say that." ~McDonell

"I have voice recognition on my computer. I say 'Start Menu' and it says 'Acknowledged Jesse'. But one time I got real mad and said: 'Hey computer, go fuck yourself.' " ~Jesse
"And it said: *metallic, computerized voice* 'ERROR: CANNOT LOCATE GENATALIA'." ~Rob

"Oh yeah!" ~Lily
"Oh yeah?" ~Lori
"Oooh yeah!" ~Lily
"Oh yeah? Well... see that.... microphone?" ~Lori
"Yeah?" ~Lily
"Well... I'm gonna take that dorr, an' I'm gonna rip it off the hinges, an' I'm gonna thwack you over the head with it!" ~Lori
"Oh yeah?" ~Lily
"Oh yeah!" ~Lori
"Well....you see that frying pan?" ~Lily
"Yeah?" ~Lori
"Well...I'm going to take that computer speaker and I'm going to jam it in your throat!" ~Lily
"Oh yeah?" ~Lori
"Oh yeah!" ~Lily
"Oh yeah? Well... I'm gonna be choking on the speaker, then I'm gonna go downstairs and get some food, and I'm gonna eat it! An' all the time I'm gonna be sayin' 'Oohhhh yeah' " ~Lori
"And how does that have anything to do with me?" ~Lily
"It...... It just DOES!" ~Lori

"......none of that stuff, but a little good old fashioned heterosexual perversion is just fine." ~Mr. Sheridan
"Can we quote you on that sir?" ~Rob
"No, because I think you'll take it out of context." ~Mr. Sheridan
"Exactly." ~Rob. If you really want to know the whole story behind that one, email me, we'll talk.

" *reading Tina's essay* You worded this nicely." ~Rob
"Yeah, I have a thing for wording with death." ~Tina
"Oh, that whole 'death follows Tina' thing?" ~Rob
"No, it's the whole 'Tina's a morbid psychotic fuck' thing." ~Tina. And she was right, war is likely to kill you on the inside long before you die on the outside.

"It was the natives....the immigrants...." ~McDonell
"I take offence to that!" ~Phil
"Who cares what YOU think Phil?" ~McDonell. Phil=landed Irish immigrant, total nutso and proud leader of our world domination league.

" 'Tis a car, m'dear." ~Rob
"You just called the teacher 'm'dear'." ~Tina
"Oooooootaaaaaai. Well, at least I didn't end the sentence my usual medieval way...." ~Rob
"What's that?" ~Tina
" 'M'lady'." ~Rob

"Who were the poor?" ~McDonell
"The poor." ~Richard

"There's nothing wrong with it.....right Rob?" ~Nardo
"Not really, cept for the pornography." ~Rob

" *sorta trips Rob while in lineup with him* Oops, sorry Rob. You know I'm trying to kill you." ~Antoinella
"No! Stay away from her! She's evil! She's SATAN!" ~Jesse
"Jesse, just cause you're also trying to kill me as well, doesn't mean you should hinder her efforts." ~Rob. My whole accounting class has had it in for me ever since I got 100% on a decently tough test.....wonder how I did on the midterm.....*grin*

" *to Tina* Well I bet you feel like an ass...." ~Jesse
"I'm the dragon's ass." ~Rob
" *turns around slowly, giving Rob one of those WTF? looks* Wha?" ~Tina. I'm the ever-lovable Ass of Custard the Dragon.

"See.....you can trust me. I didn't lick you...." ~Tina
"Yet....." ~Jesse
"....again...." ~Tina and Rob

"Rob, I got a feeling your whole family is goin down." ~Jesse
" *thinks for a moment* O'Doyle Rules!" ~Rob
"If my car crashed from a banana peel, I'd cry." ~Jesse

"You're breathing on me." ~Tina
"You just licked me up the side of the face!" ~Rob
"Your point?" ~Tina

"Scamper Rob! Scamper!" ~Bri
" *while scampering* I DO NOT SCAMPER!" ~Rob
"Scamper!" ~Bri

"Psst....Jesse's my next vicstum." ~Tina
"Vicstum?" ~Rob
"Victim....." ~Tina. Jesse was the next on the Evanization list........

"I'm gonna throw the piggy off the hill,
I'm gonna throw the piggy off the hill,
I'm gonna throw, I'm gonna throw, I'm gonna throw, I'm gonna throw,
I'm gonna throw the piggy off the hill." ~Jesse
"And I frighten YOU?" ~Rob

"Brett....don't give me......bs." ~Ms. Cole
"Baloney and Salami?" ~Brett
"I just had lunch Brett, I don't need any of that." ~Ms. Cole

"Oh, that one HAS to be quoted. *starts writing* " ~Rob
"Leave people ALONE Rob." ~Jesse

"Phil......have you been messing with our weather machine ahead of schedule?" ~Rob
"Possibly......." ~Phil. I think Phil's to blame for the sudden snow coming outta nowhere......methinks some decension in the ranks may be taking place soon.......

"I am the Hammer of Justice!" ~Michelle
"I am the Hammer of Justice!" ~Rob
"No, I am." ~Michelle
"No! I am the only true Hammer of Justice!" ~Rob
"I was it before you!" ~Michelle
"Well.....um.....I'm taller than you! *walks off* Mwuahahahahha.....Hammer of Justice....mwuahahahaha!" ~Rob. I am the New and Improved Hammer of Justice! Let all those who walk in evil fear my wrath!

" *raises his hand* Is it a bad thing to have conversations with yourself in different voices...or in the third person?" ~Rob
" *turns around, questioning look* Yes, yes it is." ~Eva

"Whoa! Oh my God!" ~Tina
"What? Did you see a gnome?" ~Dave

" *ranting* You gotta stop him! He's freaking me out! He keeps quoting everything I say!" ~Jason
"Rob's.....quoting....you? What? Are you his hero or something?" ~Ms. Cole
" *laughs maniacally* " ~Rob

"Whaddaya want?" ~Rob
"I want you to sit down and talk." ~Prentice
"Why?" ~Rob
"Cause I'm bored out of my FUCKING MIND!" ~Prentice

"Phil, you know what you're playing for right?" ~Rob
"Yeah, pride." ~Phil (Crystals's b/f)
"No...." ~Rob
"What then?" ~Phil
" *points to Laura* You're playing her for the 'Golden Bra of Air Hockey'." ~Rob
"Oh........." ~Phil

"Rob! I'm tellin' Lori you had a pretty girl sitting on your lap!" ~Tina
"They're squishing me, they're everywhere, I can't move!" ~Rob
"It would be funnier if it was true. *pouts* " ~Michelle
"Would it help if I said you're not hideously ugly?" ~Rob
"A little....." ~Michelle
"Aw, you're not bad Michelle." ~Rob
" *stops pouting, still doesn't stop squishing Rob* " ~Michelle. Too many people on one couch, Rob was on the bottom layer, it came to the point where I literally COULD NOT move. After the top layers cleared off, I had to be PEELED off the couch.

"Jesus was an architect, Jesus built my hotrod." ~Tina
"Architects...don't....build....cars...." ~Rob. Some song lyrics, dun ask me, I ain't got a clue what she was talking about.

"I'm gonna pierce its ears....and its nipples." ~Tina
"I don't think Furbies HAVE nipples." ~Rob
" *draws nipples* Oh, he does now." ~Tina
"That's just wrong." ~Rob. I believe this conversation speaks for itself.....

"You can give me marks for effort." ~Jesse
"But you got them all wrong." ~Rob

"If anybody over there is talking...." ~Ms. Cole
"...its Rob's fault..." ~SuperKnife
"....yes, its Rob's fault." ~Ms. Cole. Yup, I'm the bad influence in Accounting Class.

" *whispers in her ear from behind* Psst....Eva...." ~Rob
" *turns, jumps slightly, and SCREAMS* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" ~Eva. Hmm....perhaps Eva truly is frightened of me.....or maybe I shouldn't sneak up on her....

"Sarah, what day are you off?" ~Mr. Richards
"I'm Jessica." ~Jessica
"Jessica, what day are you off?" ~Mr. Richards. Jessica's older sister, Sarah, looks quite similar to her.

"Did I ask you if you want to worship me yet?" ~Bri
"Why the hell would I worship you?" ~Rob
"Because I'm God." ~Bri

"Germans were brilliant....." ~McDonell
"Really?" ~Richard
"What? You think they're gonna fight a war when they're a bunch of idiots?" ~Rob
"Four words: United States of America." ~Tina. As always, don't take offence, I got nothing against the states. Hell, I love Florida, it's warm....southern ontario isn't.

"You know where I'd like to go scuba-diving?" ~Phil
"Where Phil?" ~McDonell
"The Bermuda Triangle." ~Phil

"It's all fun and games until someone loses a testicle....." ~Nardo
"....then it's a sport." ~Rob

"Why are you doing that?" ~Rob
"I like seeing the way different surfaces poke you." ~Tina. She was poking me in the neck with a Bell Quickchange card. Simple explanation for any of Tina's actions: "She's weird....she does weird things."

"What are you doing?" ~Rob
"I don't know....it's 'Poke Rob' day...." ~Tina. It was actually my birthday.....but I let that slide.....

"But I'm the cute one...." ~Rob
" *muffled noise* " ~Tina
"Was that a 'shh!' or were you bursting into laughter?" ~Rob
"I was snickering, trying not to laugh." ~Tina. I do suppose ex-girlfriends have a right to comment on this topic.....but I'm still the cute one.....

" *to Rob* I have an odd request....may I suck on your arm?" ~Tina
"She's taken the next step, she's asking permission." ~Jesse

"Ben, are you hacking into The Matrix?" ~Rob
"Yup." ~Ben
"Ooh! Can we go in?" ~Tina
"Sure." ~Ben
"That would be cool, then we could dodge bullets and stuff. *starts acting like Neo did when he dodged the bullets* " ~Brett
"What? You mean you can't already Brett?" ~Rob
"No, I try, but they keep hitting me. You come down with a bad case of death." ~Brett

"Guess what we played?" ~Laura
"What?" ~Bri
"Bible Baseball......IT BURNS! IT BURNS!" ~Laura

"I feel sad. *pouts* " ~Rob
"Why?" ~Tina
"I did not recieve the Bacon McForward." ~Rob. I eventually received my copy, and sent it to everybody I know. If you received it, please help spread "The Legend of the Bacon McFlurry" If you have not received it, or are just curious about it, just email me, I'll fix ya up with a copy of it.

"So you want part of my shirt to ram through your ear?" ~Rob
"Yes." ~Tina. Do you really want to know?

"This song sounds almost the same backwards as it does forwards." ~Tina
"This is a song? I thought you were flipping through the radio stations!" ~Rob. In case anybody cares, the song was "Praise You" by Fatboy Slim.

"Furbies ARE NOT meant to have nipples!" ~Rob
"What the FUCK are you talking about?" ~Ben. And despite my best efforts, Tina's furby now has nipples.

"Germans lost, stripped down naked and started walkin' home. 'Hey guys, lets go get a beer, see our girlfriends and families.'" ~McDonell
"If I was in the war, I'd walk home naked. Screw goin' to see my family or my fianceé, I'd go get a beer!" ~Tina

"There a pencil sharpener in this class?" ~Justin
"NO! Sharpen it with your teeth." ~Mrs. Doucette

" *suspicious glare* Why are you giggling at my insanity?" ~Rob
" *giggle* " ~Eva

"Yeah...you have to 'ebonics'ize' your words. Instead of saying 'fifty' say 'fiddy'." ~Nick
"No Nick, just no. Don't EVER say that again." ~Barbara. Nick=white guy, Barbara=black girl, that should be enough of an explanation.

"You're sad, alone, and ignored....." ~Eva
"....I'm not sad." ~Rob. And if anyone really cares, I'm none of those things. Mwuahahahah!

"Rob....you still think I'm a bitch....right?" ~Bri
"Yes." ~Rob
"Damn straight!" ~Bri. How does someone like Bri get such a low bitch score? That test is rigged I say! Rigged!

" *has his back turned to Laura and Michelle* Are they pointing and laughing at me?" ~Rob
"No." ~Bri
"Why not?" ~Rob

"Boobs make good pillows....here, poke poke." ~Tina
"I'm not going to poke your boobs." ~Rob
"POKE POKE." ~Tina
"NO!" ~Rob. I refuse to poke Tina's boobs, call me weird if you must, but that's my final answer.

"That was low man....." ~Rob
"....that was high for me. *bows* Thank you, thank you." ~SuperKnife. He made a bawdy comment....and it was low....

"We'll sell you this for the low bargain price of $3000." ~Rob
"Eat my ass! I'll wait till you're bankrupt......" ~SuperKnife. We were playing Monopoly in accounting and SuperKnife wouldn't purchase Kentucky from us.

"We'll sell it to you for $600." ~Rob
"$800." ~Tina
"What part of 'Eat my ass!' don't you understand?" ~SuperKnife. It would appear he doesn't have a price.....but we'll see on Monday.....

"De-hand me.....wait.....is that the word?" ~Tina
"Unhand....." ~Rob
"Unhand me........." ~Tina

"Rob, stop whining." ~Kate
"Kate, stop yelling at me for whining." ~Rob
"That's the first time I've yelled at you....and I'm not yelling." ~Kate
"Stop yelling!" ~Rob

" *waves* See ya later...... *grumbles* vicious female......." ~Rob
" *giggle* " ~Michelle. She shoved me into the door to open it! If that's not vicious....then what the hell is?

"YOU! SIT!" ~Michelle
"What? *plops down on the floor* " ~Rob
" *barking like a drill sergeant* Why am I not on this page?" ~Michelle
" *whimpering* What...page...?" ~Rob
" *points at random section of the conversations page* This one!" ~Michelle
" *still whimpering* Umm........." ~Rob
" *glare fiercely at Rob* " ~Michelle and Bri. There, you're on here again now Michelle....*whimpers* please stop being vicious.....please.....

"What? You're leaving already?" ~Tina
"I've been here for THREE HOURS!" ~Rob. Just ask her about our trip to the movies Friday night.....she'll explain.....

"And why should I buy you people pizza? Look what you did to my basement!" ~Rob
" *not listening to Lori* Cause Trina'll give you head." ~Tina
" *puts her head on Rob's shoulder, gives puppy-dog eyes* Pizza........" ~Lori
" *not listening to Tina, listening to Lori* Ok......" ~Rob
" *bursts into laughter* " ~Tina

"Why stand when you can sit? Why sit when you can lay down? Why...." ~Shawn
" *chuckle* I know where this is going...." ~Rob
"...why lay down when you can eat a sandwhich?" ~Shawn
 "Wha?" ~Rob

"Rob, throw me over that pillow." ~Tina
"How do we ask?" ~Rob
"NOW!" ~Tina
"How do we ask?" ~Rob
"Gimme...or Trina will rip your dick off." ~Tina
" *throws her the pillow* Enjoy your pillow, would you like another?" ~Rob. What can I say? Threats scare me...

" *cheers triumphantly* Wihoo! 19 boob conversations since Friday!" ~Tina
"Would you please stop starting conversations about your boobs?" ~Rob
"No." ~Tina

" *shakes head* Useless...but it's a start." ~Brad
" *goes off to a happy place upon mentioning her name* Yeah, but it's Lori. And if this is useless....I hope I never learn a damned thing." ~Rob
"Hehe, whoa...ground control to Rob D. GET THE FUCK OFF CLOUD 9 WILL YA?" ~Brad
" *yells down from Cloud 10* Wrong one dumbass....and no." ~Rob

"Get your hands outta my pants!" ~Rob
"First time I've had a guy tell me that." ~Tina. She was grabbing my wallet to borrow lunchmoney sickos.....

"Hmm...you look dead in this picture. Kinda ironic...." ~Rob
"Why....? Oh, it's my Health Card." ~Tina

"We control transportation....up yours!" ~Rob
"We control electricity and water, without us you can't survive!" ~SuperKnife

" *singing* Tina's slowly going crazy...." ~SuperKnife
"Slowly?" ~Rob
"Slowly?" ~Tina
"Going?" ~Rob
"Going?" ~Tina. True, Tina is quite nuts already.

"You don't even know what you're agreeing to!" ~Rob
"I DONT CARE!" ~SuperKnife. And Tina's still wrong....no matter how many people she gets to agree with her without even telling them what they're agreeing to.

"But I don't like the opera." ~SuperKnife
"So Theresa dragged you there." ~Rob
"Theresa doesn't like the opera." ~SuperKnife
"They have beer at the opera." ~Rob
"Okay then....." ~SuperKnife

" *hits Rob with her pants* " ~Tina
"Dah! Quit hitting me with your pants!" ~Rob
"Tina, can I see your pants for a moment?" ~SuperKnife
" *hands over the pants* " ~Tina
" *whacks Rob over the head with Tina's pants* " ~SuperKnife
"Dah! Quit hitting me with Tina's pants!" ~Rob

"Greetings spineless lackey...." ~Laura
"Greetings boss....I mean Duh Fuhrer." ~Rob

"How am I supposed to pay you back for this?" ~Rob
"Mmm....money, money." ~Eva

"Do they have Coles Notes for this?" ~Mike
"For The Bible?" ~Rob
"Yeah.....why not?" ~Mike

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful....." ~Rob
" *bursts into laughter for several minutes straight* " ~Eva. Hey! Only the ex and current girlfriends get to comment on that.....and I'm still the cute one....

"I think that was a pretty unfair question...." ~guy in religion class
"...well, 95% of the class got it, so....." ~Mrs. Z

" *passes the phone around to Lori, Trina, and herself in turn so they can hear Rob say "ooh, thparkly...."* " ~Tina
"Am I being used as a source of cheap entertainment?" ~Rob
"Yes." ~Tina
"Ok then." ~Rob

"Alright, ladies first....." ~Mrs Z
"SEXISM!" ~Rob

"He wouldn't let me do the project on weasels!" ~Tina
"This isn't grade 5! It's history!" ~Rob

"Unless you buy a pop and I kidnap it...." ~Tina
"Kidnap?" ~Rob
"Popnap." ~Tina

"Back off!" ~Townley
"Get your own sandwhich?" ~Rob
"No, just back off." ~Townley

" *rubbing temples* Calm blue ocean....calm blue ocean....." ~Rob
"Burning red fiery chaotic inferno pit of hell!" ~Tina

"All power comes from God....." ~Rob
"Hey!" ~Eva
"Oh sorry, we can't forget about your powers...." ~Rob
"That's better." ~Eva

"Rob....can we have your number?" ~Michelle
"Why?" ~Rob
"She's hitting on you." ~Marya
"So we can harass you. We have to harass you over the weekend." ~Laura
"Oh, so just like the rest of my friends, ok then." ~Rob

"There's no 'I' in 'team' " ~Heidi
"Unless you're speaking French." ~Rob
" 'Tiem'? " ~Natasha
" 'Equipe' " ~Rob

"Get something else running through your head......" ~Rob
"No. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex." ~Tina. She had sex on the brain that day, she's weird, don't ask me.

"In Russia, where they have the bad economy, they used to pay the teachers with Vodka." ~Mrs. Z
"Why aren't you workin in Russia then?" ~Justin

"Rob you watch too much TV!" ~Townley
"I'm reciting Shakespeare!" ~Rob
"I mean, you read too many books!" ~Townley

"You're all against me! Especially the women! It's a worldwide conspiracy!" ~Rob
"Yup." ~Tina
"Yeah, we have these meetings we go to every week and think up 'what can we do to Rob this week?' " ~Ms. Cole
" *points at Tina* Her job is to make me paranoid as hell! And Melissa's is to annoy me, Michelle's is to be vicious......" ~Rob

"Basic letters and vowels are good choices. Hint hint, remember 'sometimes y.' " ~Tina
"There are no y's are there?" ~Rob. We were playing Hangman.

"Um....." ~Lori
"First off ya don't um, ya cum, and when ya cum.....well I won't go into that....." ~Brad
"ASSHOLE!" ~Lori. Brad and Lori don't get along too well, in fact they hate each other with a fiery fucking passion.....oh wait, that's understating it a tad.....

"I'm just applying logic." ~Rob
"Well I don't apply logic this early in the morning...." ~Brad
"It's 3 o' clock in the afternoon!" ~Rob
"Your point?" ~Brad

"How the hell do I do this-I've got sex on the brain-You need to shave-Can I shave you?" ~Tina
" *blinks* You just said like four things in the time I'm supposed to be replying to the first thing. ~Rob. Tina is another one of those people with the conversational attention span of a fidgety gnat.

" *debating, lowering and raising hands in turn* Time-Travelling Delorean....Coolass Egg Car.....Time-Travelling Delorean....Coolass Egg Car.....both!" ~Rob
"No! Coolass Egg Car! It goes fast enough to travel through time!" ~Tina. I can't decide which one I want...and now that danged Stuart Little Gas-less car has entered the race as well....

"I treated myself to a whole shitload of stuff yesterday." ~Dan
"Booze, pot, porn, and hookers?" ~Rob
"Um...no." ~Dan
"Why the hell not?" ~Rob. Dan turned 16 recently.

"Tina...." ~Ms. Cole
"I'm working...." ~Tina
"Actually, no, you're not, but....." ~Ms. Cole

"Rob, are you going insane?" ~Brett
" *scratches his head, gives Brett a funny look* Going?" ~Rob

"Call me sick, twisted and perverted, but I like myself this way." ~Bri
"Ok sick, twisted, and perverted." ~Rob
"Remind me later to smack you upside the head with a rubber chicken filled with anvils made by tiny miniature anvil faeries who prance through the anvil garden and pick the anvil flowers." ~Bri

"It's not a common phrase." ~Rob
"I use it all the time." ~Bri
"My point exactly." ~Rob
" *whimpering slightly* But I'm normal....I swear I am....just let me go feed my alligator....." ~Bri. Hmm...she did leave the phone for a minute at this time...but I don't think she really has a pet alligator...but then again....this is Bri we're talking about....

"Ah, don't worry, I'd come to your funeral." ~Rob
"That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." ~Bri

"Dave! Good news, I've got ya a job." ~Rob
"Really?" ~Dave
"You get to be Bri's assassin when she's rich and famous." ~Rob
"When's that gonna be, like another 80 years?" ~Dave. One of Dave's nicknames is Assassin Jay.

"That'll teach you to have a phone conversation with me." ~Rob
"Damn straight." ~Bri. This was the conversation that shortly proceeded me handing Bri the 3 pages worth of quotes I had written down during out conversation.

"Rob, are you part of the conspiracy?" ~Tina
" *evil grin* Which one?" ~Rob

"Rob, I have a small problem." ~Tina
"You're tangled in your bag, aren't you?" ~Rob
" *whimpery voice* No............" ~Tina

"Can't....resist.....*hits Rob for no apparent reason* " ~Tina
"What?" ~Rob
"I...had...an...urge..." ~Tina. I'm as confused as you are....and also sore.

"You know...if the bomb blows up, we're all martyrs!" ~Rob
"Will they build us a memorial?" ~Sarah L.
"Sure! Why not? And it'll say 'For the brave students who stayed' and we'll be up in Heaven laughing our asses off saying 'Haha...we didn't wanna stay! We just couldn't get rides home!' " ~Rob. There was a bomb threat at our school, about half the students left at Lunch....sissies

"19 doesn't work." ~Rob
"Yeah it does, you've got a 16, and four 1's." ~Adam H.
"That adds up to 20." ~Rob
".....you've got three 1's." ~Adam H. We were discussing memory chips...and Adam can't add.

"This is gonna sound wrong....what do you have in your pants?" ~Tina
"Well....*grin*...if you must know....." ~SuperKnife. He took something of hers and stuffed it in his pocket, don't remember what it was.

" *in the middle of telling one of her trademark really, really, really long stories* " ~Marya
"Hehe....try quotin' this one." ~Laura

"How many people experience angst?" ~Amy Friedman (Rob's Creative Writing Instructor from Queen's University)
"On a monthly basis." ~Susie. Susie had....ahem....cramps that day....

"It's not our fault, it's society's fault." ~Rob
"We are society." ~Aarti
" *pause* Quiet you!" ~Rob

" *knocks on door* " ~Chris M.
"You don't have to knock when you leave." ~Wes
"Oh." ~Chris M.

"What time is it?" ~Wes
"Green." ~Rob. We had to wear these prison bracelet type things at Queen's, and I always took off my watch cause it was uncomfortable. Then I'd look at my watch....and find out that the time was green.

"I've never seen anyone eat a salad with their hands before." ~Rob
"Then you've never lived!" ~Susie. Her fork was in her meat....and taking it out of there to use it on the salad was just completely out of the question. There was more to this, quite a show really, pity I was the only person who saw it....and that I had no video camera.

"Brandon, if you were to take over Ireland, how would you do so?" ~Tina
"Well....I would tell every Protestant that his neighbour's a Catholic, that every Catholic's neighbour is a Protestant and watch them make me a very big lawn! Then I'd enslave the remaining survivors to mow my very big lawn." ~Brandon. Brandon is the leader of our World Domination League....fear the crazy Irishmen...

" *hits Rob for no reason* " ~Tina
"You have another urge?" ~Rob
" *pause* Spasm." ~Tina

"Where did the baby sleep last night?" ~Crystal
"You're gonna hate me for this, but I padded my underwear drawer and tossed him in." ~Phil (Crystal's B/F)
"YOU DON'T PUT BABIES IN THE UNDERWEAR DRAWER!" ~Crystal. Religion Project, nuff said.

"Aw.....I want a real baby.....Phil?" ~Crystal
" *doesn't look up* Not now hun....." ~Phil

"I miss my Rob...." ~Tina
"I miss my Goten....YOUR ROB?!?!?!!?" ~Lori
"Yes, mine first." ~Tina
"I see....." ~Lori. Hmm....I'm not sure where I stand with this one. Tina has the technicality issue going, but I think I'm gonna side with Lori on this one.

" *tickles Rob* Heehee, heehee." ~Tina
"No reaction." ~Rob
"Fine, I'll just grope you then. *gropes Rob's chest* " ~Tina
"Please stop groping me, it's really annoying." ~Rob. Tina's just going to have to get used to the fact that I ain't ticklish.

"Once again, do we need to hear it?" ~Rob
"YES!!!" ~Tina
"No we don't!" ~Rob
"Yes you do! Everybody needs to hear about my underwear or the lack thereof!" ~Tina
"NO WE DON'T!!!" ~Rob. Tina likes to inform us as to the status of her underwear. She's weird.....

"So..." ~Tina
"So..." ~Rob
"S'up?" ~Tina
"So..." ~Rob
"I said 's'up?' " ~Tina
"Damn." ~Rob. Standard opening to a phone conversation, and sometimes face-to-face conversations, with Rob and Tina.

"Dave, you know what's wrong with this library?" ~Tina
"There's no fishsticks?" ~Dave S. Somehow...I think Dave was asking a serious question there.....

"If Rob comes back, and he doesn't hand it in, may we have permission to kill him?" ~Tina
"Uh huh." ~Ms. Cole
"So, if he shows up in a ditch now, you know nothing, it wasn't us." ~Jesse. Hmm....it would appear something didn't get handed in when I was at Queen's....and I came home to violent threats.....ouch. Keep the roller-blades away from me Tina!

"You have so much spunk." ~Ms. Cole
"Spunk?" ~All
"It's a term from the 60's." ~Ms. Cole. Hmm...I know what spunk means, but I was gone when this conversation occurred.

"Anyways, you have so much to bring to this school. You just have to learn how to...." ~Ms. Cole
"Shut up?" ~Tina
"Yeah, exactly." ~Ms. Cole. Tina gets a little distracted in Accounting....then again....so do I....and Adam....and Ben....and Tyler.....and Brett....and occasionally the other Adam and Jason.....and Antoinella....and Jenny....ok, so we all get distracted really easily.

"Everything pisses you off!" ~Rob
"Everything YOU do pisses me off!" ~Tina. This one was from a long time ago, she was having a shitty week.

"It's 11 am, do you know where your children are?" ~Tina
"Yes, they're in a garbage dumpster in downtown Oshawa." ~Dave S.
"You horrible, horrible man." ~Tina

"A vote for Phil McAllister is a vote for....." ~McDonell
"...anarchy." ~Rob. Heehee....this was shortly before the history class election....which I won....mwuahahahahahahhahaha!

"God created the monkeys and told them to evolutionize into humans." ~Kate
"Evolve, Kate, evolve." ~Bri

"Bri, you only have two emotions, the semblance of happiness and anger." ~Kate
".........." ~Bri
"Oh crap, I'm just digging myself in deeper." ~Kate. Bri doesn't like to be referred to as emotionless.....

"Bri, stop writing down everything we say!" ~Jessica R.
" *pouts* But Rob does it!" ~Bri
"You're not Rob." ~Michelle
"I'm the new Rob!" ~Bri

"Oh, look at this Furby! Aren't you cute!" ~Michelle
"Shut up." ~Furby. Oh God, I wish I could have been there for this one. Power to the Furby!

"I came in second on the first poll...." ~Bri
"Mmmmhmmmm....." ~Bri's Mom
"I didn't see the second poll, and the third poll I came in third in, but the fourth poll, I'm WINNING! *grins* I'm gonna have my very own shrine!" ~Bri
" *starts to laugh* " ~Bri's Mom
" *mutters* ....Show Rob who's wearing the pants in this relationship...*tugs at the waist of her pants* " ~Bri
" *laughs hysterically* " ~Bri's Mom. Damn you Bri! I wear the pants! Me! Rob! Not Bri! Me!.....Hey...Me, not Bri...that rhymes!

"Why are you against the death penalty?" ~Brad
"Because....it's too quick. I think Paul Bernardo should have a radio collar attached to him, *gradually grows louder as she continues ranting* tossed in an inclosed pit filled with wolves, tigers, poisonous snakes, and hunters with sniper rifles for one full month, and if he survives, be weighted down with chains and have a giant sign tied around his neck saying 'Hi, I'm Paul Bernardo.' and let the general public carry him off!! *pant pant* " ~Bri
"I like the way you think." ~Brad. Yup, Bri would make a good torture person type person. She's got that sadistic edge required.

"Now be careful, because sulfuric acid will eat right through your hand." ~Mr. O'Dell
" *hand shoots up* How quickly?" ~Bri

"My eyes are not gonna like the sun today." ~Tina's brother Joe
"How stoned are you today?" ~Tina
"Neither." ~Joe. I'm as confused as you are about the answer.

"Do you guys want some hotdogs?" ~Trina's Mum
"Yes Mummy, please." ~Trina
"Then get off your ass, find a stick, and make 'em." ~Trina's Mum

"My bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-A-N-Z...." ~Bri
"F-R-I-T-Z..." ~Rob
"F-R-A-N-Z..." ~Bri
"F-R-I-T-Z..." ~Rob. C'mon people, help me out here...Joe, how about you? You'll be able to settle this....it's from Simpsons man.....

"Respect life! *hands Bri a 'Respect Life' pin* " ~Majoire
"Ooh....you're giving that to the wrong person." ~Rob
"Yeah....I better go stab somebody with it." ~Bri

"My dad suggests I come out of the closet." ~Rob
"Please tell me you're standing in a closet." ~Tina. Dad says I might be a "closet rides person" and that I should come out of the "rides closet" so that I can enjoy myself at carnivals and theme parks.

"Stop throwing the cat!" ~Rob
"Why? It's small....like a baseball!" ~Tina. Leave the poor cat alone Tina....please....

"We've got 3 girls and 4 guys here." ~Rob
"No Rob, we've got 3 guys and 4 girls here." ~Shawn
" *points at Shawn* YOU'RE A GIRL?" ~Lori

"We're not children, we're horny adolescents." ~Trina
"I'm not horny." ~Tina
"Neither am I, what's your point?" ~Trina

"But you know what? You could sell your soul to Satan and still have all those souls left over." ~Trina
"But I gave my soul to Dave." ~Tina
"So.....he can sell your soul to Satan." ~Trina. Tina has a soul collection, ask her to show it to you sometime.

"Where'd you smuggle this from?" ~Tisha
" *blank expression* I have fries." ~Marya. This one...the explanation would pop your brain.

"I will write a random witty thought." ~Marya
"Write 'random witty thought'." ~Rob
"Well, it wouldn't be witty if it came from you, now would it?" ~Marya. Hey! I can so say witty things!

" *sigh* People....." ~Rob
"Ah yes, can't live with 'em, beastiality without 'em." ~Marya. Is there something you're not telling us Marya?

"That is an orange car! *pointing* " ~Marya
"Where?" ~Tisha
" *pointing* There!" ~Bri, Michelle, and Marya
"Oh there...the orange one." ~Tisha

"It's lost its lust for life." ~Laura
"I think that potato is long gone. *staring at french fry*" ~Marya
"We weren't talking about the french fry, we were talking about the boy." ~Laura

"The traditional roles of men and women are changin. Women used to be at home, ya know, barefoot and pregnant." ~Mrs Z
"Yeah, now they wear socks." ~Chris McAllister. So sexist, yet so funny. Please don't hit me for laughing....

" *having a conversation not about marya* " ~Rob, Michelle, Laura
"So anyway, while we're on the subject of ME." ~Marya

" *arguing over who get's the 'sthexy australian guy' from Coyote Ugly* " ~Michelle and Marya
"Whoa, it's like a no-budget puppet show." ~Laura. Another of Laura's famous...observations.

"Am I seeing things? Or is class almost over?" ~Kyle Jennings
" *checks clock* Class has only been on for 2.5 minutes." ~Rob. He's a moron.

"I have a question." ~Rob
"Yes?" ~Miss Z
"Why do I not exist?" ~Rob. My name wasn't on the sheet.....

"You're not gonna crush someone with heavy water Jesse." ~Rob
"SILENCE!!!!!" ~Jesse

"I think he's a pervert." ~Shannon
"Don't you think all guys are like that though?" ~Mrs Z
"No, just Chris." ~Shannon
"Well that was a little mean." ~Chris McAllister

"Would that blow us up?" ~Rob C
"It could.....potentially." ~Mr Warren

"Who are you to tell the Periodic Table what i can or can't do?" ~Rob
"I'm Jesse." ~Jesse. Good answer.

"Don't yell at the pencil sharpener......" ~Miss Connolly
".....is it a ghetto pencil sharpener....?" ~random person from Rob's Grade 12 Math Class that he isn't in anymore
".....yes, it's a 'ghetto' pencil sharpener." ~Miss Connolly

" *guy drops class* Bye Mr Gillespie, have a good semester. *walks out door* " ~random guy who isn't in Rob's physics class anymore
"Well I'm glad he's gone." ~Mr Gillespie

"What's that you're talking about?" ~Mr Gillespie
"Oh, just Rob's crack addiction." ~Shannon
"Oh. That. It's well known." ~Mr Gillespie

"Rob, where can I get my hands on some C4?" ~Bri
"Isn't that an explosive?" ~James
"Plastic explosives. It's my favourite one." ~Bri. Contrary to popular belief, Bri was NOT the one responsible for all the major bombings of the last 16 years.

"Why don't we all write it?" ~Debbie
"All write it? All write it? But that's quadruple the work!" ~Bri. She's known to cut corners wherever possible. Plus....sometimes she's as lazy as me. *cowers*

Jesse, you're not getting bonus marks for not coming to school." ~Rob
"But I should! Isn't it just a joy to have me here?" ~Jesse

"Are you on the traintracks?" ~Rob
"Yeah, I'm playing chicken." ~Townley
"With the train?" ~Rob
"Yes." ~Townley. Dumb ideas for a dumb man in a dumb world.

"And I'm omnipotent!" ~Rob
"Did you just say you're impotent?" ~Tina

"Don't make me run you over with my motorbike!" ~Antoinella
"That's a piece of tinfoil." ~Rob
"That's what YOU think...." ~Antoinella

"I think Rob's fine." ~Ms Cole
"He's got some sort of fetish for squirrels." ~Antoinella

"Denial's the first stage Rob." ~Jesse
"IS NOT!!!!" ~Rob

"I will pass on your generous offer to steal my work." ~Rob
"Where's Hughes? He'll fall for this...." ~SuperKnife

"The network is slowly crashing one by one...." ~Rob
"Why is it doing that?" ~SuperKnife
"Perhaps it was the Mortal Kombat MIDI?" ~Rob

"Rob, can I borrow your books?" ~Tina
"You threatened to rape me! I don't think I should lend you anything!" ~Rob
" *look up, see Ms Cole standing right there* " ~Both. We nearly passed out from laughing about this one.

"Rob, I give you my boobs. Thwack." ~SuperKnife
"I don't want boobs." ~Tina

"One of those key notes I leave. My students wanting to grow breasts.....*references Tyler*....male students...." ~Ms Cole
" *points at Rob* Other students constantly quoting each other." ~SuperKnife

"She can't hear us." ~Tina
"She can hear us." ~Rob
"I'm ignoring you." ~Ms Cole

"I want MEAT!" ~SuperKnife
"Whaddaya want to drink?" ~Rob
"MEAT!" ~SuperKnife

" *points to Jess and Rob* Don't you think those two would the most comical couple?" ~Tina
"Before or after one kills the other?" ~Tina's Dave. I don't remember what was going on, but we were being slightly vicious. Whoa....this one must be from waaaaaaaaaay back, me and Jess broke up waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back. Still funny though.

"There's nothing wrong with not getting your body pierced, he's just trying to leave this world with the same amoutn of holes he came into it with." ~Jessimine
"Wow. That is so profound. Too bad none of us care." ~Rob. It was a weird night, I was being a little snippy, it was that danged hair gel I tells ya, the hair gel!!!!!!!

"I know it was my fault..." ~Bri
"So for you to save face, shall we assume it was my fault?" ~Rob
"Yes." ~Bri. There you have it, documented proof that Bri was wrong once.

"Did I tell you how I was flipping out in Religion class today?" ~Bri
"Was it a stigmata?" ~Rob
"Shut up." ~Bri

"You don't get it either?" ~Bri
"No, I don't." ~Rob
"You with your finger on the button....." ~Bri
"What button?" ~Rob. Yes, I'm as confused as you are.

"Stupid touch-tone phones....." ~Bri
"Yours sounds like a machinegun." ~Rob
"I LIKE machineguns." ~Bri. Run. Run far. Run far fast now.

"Are you typing the things I'm saying?" ~Bri
"No, you haven't said anything worth typing." ~Rob
"Oh, I'm so insulted." ~Bri
"Ooooookaaayy......somebody needs...." ~Rob
"Sedatives? Ether?" ~Bri

"C'mon buddy, let's box!" ~Greg S (guy Rob used to work with)
"Nah, I was in a fistfight last week, don't need one this week." ~Rob
"Why? You lose?" ~Greg S
"Nah, she surrendered." ~Rob
"SHE??? *jaw drops* " ~Greg S. The fight I am referencing became known as the "Jessimine Ultimate Rumble Boyfriend Inauguration Battle". Damn....I haven't updated this place in awhile.

"SHUT UP! Don't yell at your mother!" ~Shawn
"You're my mother?" ~Rob
"Am now." ~Shawn. I'm disturbed and confused.

"You better watch it, she knows where you live." ~Rob
"I do?" ~Lori
"I'll tell you." ~Rob

"That's one reason I regret having a boyfriend....." ~Tina
"That you can't be a lesbian?" ~Rob. This wasn't what she was talking about.

"You're being a gentleman." ~Lori
"Yeah." ~Brad
"You're being a gentleman to me?" ~Lori
"Well it's late....." ~Brad

"Lick my left nut......" ~Brad
"Any particular reason you chose the LEFT nut?" ~Rob

"What am I going to do, swim across the Atlantic Ocean to go find her?" ~Brad
"Shows devotion." ~Rob

"You want to have a threesome with me and Claudia Shiffer, don't you?" ~Pat (Wes's ex-gf)
"Who are you to come between me and Claudia Shiffer?" ~Wes. What's funny is that this particular comment was taken out of context, and is the reason Pat is an "ex" girlfriend.

"I'm not an idiot." ~Rob
"I know, that's beside the point, you're an idiot." ~Tina

"So anything positive happening?" ~Rob
"Well, I just finished throwing up, and I'm positively going to do it again." ~Jessimine

"All Hail Me...." ~Jessimine
"Was that a command or a song?" ~Rob

"Bri, say something funny." ~Marya
" *waves hands in air and makes a noise like a constipated parrot* " ~Bri

"I'm gonna tell you a story you've heard before, so pretend to look blank." ~Marya
" *looks blank* " ~Laura
"Blanker!" ~Marya
" *tries to look blanker* " ~Laura
"BLANKER!" ~Marya
" *looks very blank* " ~Laura
"BLANKER!!!!!!!" ~Marya

"We're minding the baby good." ~Laura
"Laura, go long.... *goes to throw baby like a football* " ~Marya. Religion Project. NOT an actual child.

" *Laura is getting on machine in gym* Okay, you go while I stand here and shout slogans at you!" ~Marya
" *starts using machine* " ~Laura
"Go to the max!....Feel the burn!....Mulder!...." ~Marya
" *goes into fits of laughter* " ~Laura
"....Wash those windows! Lick that envelope!...." ~Marya

"What did you do to my baby?" ~Michelle
"We gave it an eye patch and braided its hair!" ~Laura
"And we fed it and played football with it." ~Marya
" *jaw hits floor* " ~Michelle
"....I'm not implying, necessarily, that we threw it...." ~Marya

"Look at me, I can lift weights... *takes deep breaths, focuses, and lifts weights with feet kicking and head looking like it's going to explode* Ok, I'm done." ~Marya
" *gets on machine, switches from 15 lbs to 50 lbs and lifts with ease* " ~Michelle
"I'm going to KILL you!" ~Marya

"Mr Sheridan is the REAL Superman." ~Tina
"Don't mess with the S." ~Mr Sheridan

"Well are you doing anything at all?" ~Bri
"I'm opening up a text file, but no." ~Rob
"Are you expecting me to say something funny? Well I SHANT!" ~Bri
" *proceeds to quote the conversation anyway* " ~Rob

"Mom, can I have Tina sleep over here on Friday? It'll be like a slumber party." ~Rob
"Most male kids wouldn't ask their mothers if they can have girls sleep over. I figure if you have the balls to ask me this to my face, I might as well let you have her over!" ~Rob's Mom

"I want to roast marshmallows! Joe! Do you have a lighter?" ~Tina
"No." ~Joe
" *looks down and picks up cat* You'll do nicely as a marshmallow. *walks away giggling maniacally* " ~Tina. No animals were harmed during the making of this quote....or so she tells me....