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Well, here it is, you knew it was coming eventually, a section devoted
entirely to TV and movies. You better run, you better hide, the apocolypse
is coming, and I'm damn sure that TV must be one of the signs. Now as long
as the seas don't boil and turn a crimson, bloody colour, and we keep Terrance
and Philip safely on Canadian soil, we should be safe, but you never know,
this kind of thing, you know, like the end of the world, it's usually inevitable. So, you've decided to stay have you? Well, you must have, or
else you wouldn't be reading this line, so buckle up, it's gonna be a bumpy
ride down the road to insanity......and armaggedon....whichever comes first.
"The more things change, the more they suck." ~Butthead, Beavis and Butthead
"Ok boys, now where were we before I was so rudely interrupted? Ah yes, I remember. I was about to kill you both for betraying me, that was it...... *advances on Krillin and Gohan* " ~Vegeta, Dragonball Z
"Come on men! Lester wasn't just some alcoholic perverted janitor.....he was one of us." ~Francis, Malcom in the Middle
"Well, I'm
through with Laurie, and I love Jackie, so that's over. And hey! I was
just amusing myself, the key to life is amusing yourself." ~Kelso
"Unless it
starts to chafe, that's when you really should stop." ~Fez,
That 70's Show
"Whoa, you're the spittin' image of me. No wonder my four husbands left me.....no way it was cause I killed 'em!" ~Agnes Delrooney, Duckman
"Shoes.....cheese......nevermind.....*snoozes* " ~Cornfed, Duckman
"Well, the
good news is that your mother losing her job makes your tuition an issue.
I think I can talk her into letting you come home...." ~Dad
"No! Marlan
Academy is the best thing that ever happened to me! I'm at a crucial stage
in my rehabilitation!" ~Francis
"What's her
name?" ~Dad
"Dad! There's
like 10 of 'em!" ~Francis, Malcolm in the
Middle
"I want answers......NOW!" ~Spawn, Todd McFarlane's Spawn
"My great grandfather's name was....Jeep Grand Cherokee! Um....I mean, Chief Grand Cherokee!" ~Peter Griffon, Family Guy
"Have you ever noticed that no matter what colour clothes you put in the wash, the dryer fluff is always grey?" ~Newton, Ned's Newt
"I'm Agnes Delrooney, insane killer by day, psychotic murderer by night." ~Agnes Delrooney, Duckman
"No more Chernoble's!" ~guy from power convention, Simpsons
"I'd give you my name, but you'd get it dirty." ~Gourry, Slayers
"Say what you will about being stupid, at least it's free." ~Dennis Leary
"For only 6 easy payments of $49.95, you can learn how to make total strangers send you 6 easy payments of $49.95." ~Chris Sheppard, Student Bodies
"When monsters rampage, I'm there to take them down! Where treasure glitters, I'm there to claim it! Where an enemy rises to face me, victory will be mine!" ~Lina Inverse, Slayers
"Please don't get the wrong idea, I just can't let you die...." ~Zelgadis, Slayers
" *flying
up to top of tower, with Gourry holding onto her waist for dear life* "
~Lina
" *accidentally
grabs Lina's boobs* " ~Gourry
" *furiously
screaming* Hey! Watch the hands Gourry! Or I'll drop you!" ~Lina
" *wailing
like a baby* Oh please don't drop me Lina! I'm sorry! It'll never happen
again! Don't drop me!" ~Gourry
" *lands*
" ~Lina
" *continues
wailing like a baby, holding Lina's waist tight* " ~Gourry
"Gourry! We've
landed, now get your hands off of me!" ~Lina
" *calmly*
You're blushing." ~Zelgadis
" *screams*
WHO ASKED YOU?" ~Lina, Slayers
"Well I guess even a troll knows a cute girl when he sees one......" ~Gourry, Slayers
"Lina........"
~Zelgadis
"Psst...it's
a lot less painful to just do what she says." ~Gourry,
Slayers
"Popularity is a fickle friend. When you have it, it's kinda nice, but when you lose it....you figure it out, I gotta run like hell!" ~Cher, Clueless
" *knock
at door* "
"Who is it?"
~Homer
"Goons."
"Wha?" ~Homer
"Hired goons."
~The Simpsons
"And you thought Freeza was scary......watch out! Chi-Chi's on a rampage!" ~DBZ announcer guy, Dragonball Z
"Your speeches put me to sleep.......but everyone has to have last words....." ~Freeza, Dragonball Z
"If having feelings is a weakness, why am I the only Saiyan left?" ~Goku, Dragonball Z
"Very well, if that is the way the winds are blowing, let no one say I don't also blow." ~Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby, The Simpsons
"Since when are you so shy Lina? I mean....it's not like you have breasts or anything....." ~Gourry, Slayers
"Possibly the chickenest chicken I've ever seen." ~Gourry, Slayers
"Having these balls gives me a feeling that resembles joy, I think. I want to caress them." ~Freeza, Dragonball Z
"Dad, you're
giving in to mob mentality." ~Bart
"No I'm not,
I'm jumping on the bandwagon." ~Homer, The
Simpsons
" *rubbing temples* I don't have my mental health, I don't have my mental health." ~Ally, Ally McBeal
"It's time
for some reconnaisance." ~Giles
"You mean
where we all sculpt and paint stuff?" ~Buffy
"That was
the Renaissance." ~Giles, Buffy The Vampire
Slayer
" *to Goku* Whatever turns you on......big boy......" ~Freeza, Dragonball Z. Anybody else notice how so much of their dialogue just sounds wrong?
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons." ~Ensign Kang, The Simpsons
"Miaka, are
you aware of you who just hit with that desk?" ~Yui
"You brought me to a woman? I can't talk to a woman about what's going on in Man Land!" ~Tim Taylor " *feeling up Hotohori's chest* Yup, no breasts. Maybe he's got some of that man stuff down here...*starts sliding her hands downward* " ~Miaka "Read 'em and weep boys, I win again." ~Marron "In the real world, or the wired world, people are connected somehow, it's how societies are formed." ~Lain's Dad, Serial Experiments: Lain
"What is the purpose of my existence? To be a pathetic lackey for Lina? No! I'm supposed to be a heartless swordsman! Strange and mysterious!" ~Zelgadiss, Slayers NEXT
"It is just an advanced medium for communication, and should never be mistaken for the real world. Do you understand my warning?" ~Lain's Dad "Then for dear Gourry I'll use violence, money, sex appeal; I'm willing to use any means necessary to rescue dear Gourry from Hellmaster." ~Sylphiel "Although I don't see dear Gourry here....Miss Lina, did you sell him to someone?" ~Sylphiel, Slayers NEXT
"Do you see towels? You might be in the linen closet again." ~Marge, The Simpsons
"Hey, this reminds me of that twilighty show about that zone....." ~Homer, The Simpsons
"I don't want to die on this bus with you assholes! You guys suck!" ~Eric Cartman, South Park
"It's not that I'm worried about failing, it's simply not possible for me to fail. I think that I'm worried about worrying about failing." ~Captain Starr, Captain Starr
"I can't wear a pink shirt to work Marge, everybody else wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different!" ~Homer Simpson, The Simpsons
Movie Quotes
"Ok, now that
you've seen THE PLAN, now I'm gonna go show THE PLAN to someone
else." ~Kat, 10 Things I Hate About You
'So logically...."
~Sir Bedevere
"Human beings...are
a disease....you are a cancer of this planet, and we.....are the cure....."
~Agent Smith, The Matrix
"Nobody's ever
done anything like this." ~Trinity
"There's no
defeat in death, master Bruce. Victory comes in fighting for what we know
is right." ~Alfred Pennyworth, Batman and
Robin
"The needs
of the many outweigh the needs of the few." ~Mr.
Spock, Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan
"We're in a
real big pile of trouble now Tonto." ~Lone
Ranger
"NYPD! That
means 'Nock Yo Punkass Down.' " ~James
Darrell Edwards III, Men In Black
"Lone Star....I
am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former room-mate." ~Dark
Helmet, Spaceballs
"Never say
never...eat your vitamins." ~Jackie, Stepmom.
(Read it all as one sentence.)
"Guess what.....I'm
telepathetic." ~Ben, Stepmom
"Jerry....why
haven't you been oiling your cukes?" ~Mr.
McCarthy, Oh God
"C'mon, it's
only one message. Moses had to handle 10." ~God
"This isn't a-boot language, it's a-boot integrity." ~Minister of Canadian Films, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
"Wait! I need to know, what is the clittoris?" ~Stan Marsh "We all go a little mad sometimes." ~Norman Bates, Psycho
"Ok, you're firing a GUN at your imaginary friend right near 400 GALLONS of NITRO-GLYCERINE!!!!!" ~Tyler Durden, Fight Club
"C'mon Tom, the city's burning." ~Jack Torrance (not 100% sure of the last name, feel free to email me with the correct last name), Bringing Out The Dead
"Yup, with enough soap, we could blow up just about anything." ~Tyler Durden, Fight Club
"Would it
be the teacher?" ~Miaka
"Yes Miaka."
~Yui
"Oh dear......"
~Miaka, Fushigi Yuugi
"Man Land? What, you got a theme park between your legs?" ~Jill Taylor, Home Improvement
"STOP TOUCHING HIM! HE'S THE EMPEROR!" ~Tamahome, Fushigi Yuugi
"What's up Corran? I thought you could read minds!" ~Yajirobee
"I can!" ~Corran
"Why does she keep winning then?" ~Yajirobee
"It doesn't work on her! She hasn't got a thought in her head!" ~Corran, Dragonball Z. Marron is Krillin's ditzy girlfriend, a real airhead.
"No, you're wrong. The border between them isn't so clear." ~Lain Iwakura, Serial Experiments: Lain
"You'll use money and WHAT on Hellmaster?" ~Lina, Slayers NEXT
"...if she
weighs the same as a duck.....she's made of wood...." ~Members
of angry mob
"...and therefore...."
~Sir Bedevere
"...a witch!
*loud screams and noises* " ~Members
of angry mob, Monty Python: Holy Grail
"That's why
it's going to work." ~Neo, The Matrix
"What do you
mean 'we', white man?" ~Tonto
"He had tablets."
~Jerry
"He had a
bad memory." ~God, Oh God
"Damnit you idiot! Stop thinking with your dick! I AM NOT GOING TO BE GROUNDED AGAIN! NOT FOR YOU! NOT FOR ANYBODY!" ~The Mole, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
