COMPETITION: THE RULES CHANGED
Whatever happened to competition?
How did the meaning get changed so radically and by whom? Was there a vote? When did competition change from
innocent games to anything goes? At what stage did we adapt the Machiavellian
axiom that the end justifies the means? These new attitudes about competition
seem so ruthless, so mean-spirited and inexorably tied to the care and feeding
of the insatiable monster called “instant self-gratification.”
The old time-tested
attitudes about competition taught us that we had to work for what we wanted,
that the Golden Rule still applied, and that we alone were responsible for
achieving our goals and facing up to the consequences of our actions.
As the last of
-To earn
the leading role in the play.
- To earn the varsity letter.
- To earn the right to wear the varsity
letter jacket.
- To become the class clown.
Whatever happened to EARN? When did everything become GIVE, or GIVE ME, or GIVE ME NOW!
It seems the “me
generation” has now spawned the “me too generation” and in our new century, we
are confronted with those powerful three little words ME TOO-NOW! Test it out
for yourself. Discuss ideas with teens like: national service, community
service, any voluntary service, the draft as a rite of
passage, commitment, perseverance, or self-sacrifice. Study facial reactions
first. When it comes to teaching these attitudes, it seems the “me generation”
moms are the worst. It could be that the “me generation” dads are too busy
accumulating more money any way they can. Or it could be the dads still have a
thread of that competitive up-bringing; that old school idea based on “earning
what you get,” instead of waiting for handouts.
In the 40’s and 50’s
we used to compete every waking moment but it wasn’t with this mean-spirited
winning-is-the-ONLY-thing attitude, and it wasn’t the organized sports version
of dumbing down where every single athlete gets a
medal at the end of the tournament. It was a playful competition among peers,
and no one was labeled a loser. Perhaps the group was more homogeneous then,
but I think the difference was attitude. Every competition was a game, and as
far back as I cam remember, we made a game out of everything and we approached
our competitive games every bit as vigorously in the classroom as on the play
ground or in the street.
With
ideas taken from a similar time frame, Bill Cosby, growing up in
I grew up in a
Midwestern town during the same time period. Life was good for a small boy
growing up on those sunny morning sidewalks of other days- and there was such a
different attitude towards competition. If the concept existed at all, it had a
totally different meaning. We certainly didn’t compete for money, and if we
were poor, we didn’t realize it because we were in the same circumstances as
everyone else.
In the classroom and
outside, boys and girls alike approached every assignment- ten workbook pages,
a spelling bee, multiplication flash cards, scrap metal drives, consecutive
free throws, each was regarded as a personal challenge designed by the teacher,
music director, or coach to bring out the best that was in each of us. And it
worked. We felt no need to label winners and losers, no need to boost
self-esteem with trophies, medals and ribbons for every person, no need to hire
someone to bust knee caps, no need for mean-spirited trashing the opposition
and no need for glowing Monday morning public relations press releases which
put a positive spin on every momentary disaster that kids have experienced
through the ages. We were taught to become responsible and caring adults. How
did they do that? Perhaps it was
because of (and not in spite of) the lack of adult interventions,
organizations, leagues, uniforms, and
If we were
short-changed by not having parents who organized us and who tried to
relive their own youth vicariously through their children, we were as naively
unaware of that dubious benefit as we were our lack of affluence. We organized
ourselves and happily played our competitive games in school, after school and
walking on the way to school. In summers, after chores, we played from sun up
until dark and kick-the-can after dinner.
Yes, we knew all about
competition. We taught ourselves-and each other. Maybe we even invented the
“each-one, teach-one” approach to learning. We certainly felt we had invented
to “learn-by-doing” theory whether it was standing up on the bicycle seat or
racing a beleagured engine across a railway trestle
or bragging rights to “who went swimming first each season.”
Competition used to
have a wholesome innocence to it. When the parents, teacher, preacher, coach
didn’t come up with some competitive game, we would invent an endless supply of
our own. Of course, we always wanted to do our best, whether it was a tin-can
drive for the war effort, street football, or playing H-O-R-S-E with a
basketball at twilight. Our goal was always the same and each one of us had
that same goal- to do the very best we could. Now, it’s called personal best.
And if there were no lengthy awards ceremonies for individuals on the
losing ream, there also was no Mad Max viciousness, no winning-is-everything
mentality and no media evisceration if on had an instrumental role in losing
the big game.
Yes, individually we
went on to our championship season, our very private tests of character, and
our ten minutes in the sun that Andy Warhol said every person needs, byt we made that transition from childhood’s competitions
(games) to life’s competitions with a healthy mental attitude: PERSONAL BEST.
As children, that is all we required of each other. That is all we expected of
ourselves then. That is all we should demand of ourselves NOW. PERSONAL BEST- with style and grace.
-Bill
Vivrett
