You wake up face down on the pavement 
     
      You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better. 
     
      You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold. 
       
      You see a 60 Minutes News team waiting in your office. 
     
      Your birthday cake collapses, from the weight of the candles. 
     
      You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and
      there aren't any. 
     
      You turn on the news and they are showing emergency routes 
      out of the city. 
     
      Your twin sister forgot your birthday. 
     
      Your car horn goes off accidentally, and remains stuck as you 
      follow a group of Hells Angels down the freeway. 
     
      Your boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat. 
     
      The birds singing outside your window are buzzards. 
     
      You wake up and your braces are locked together. 
     
      You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your  
      panty hose. 
      
      You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your 
      business. 
     
      Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife (husband). 
     
      Your income tax return check bounces. 
     
      You put both contact lenses in the same eye. 
     
      Your pet rock snaps at you. 
     
      Your wife says, "Good morning, Bill", and your name is Mike. 
     
      You wake to discover that your water bed has sprung a leak, 
      and then your remember that your don't have a water bed.