How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely
   true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
 1. ___ Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then
        we can talk."

 2. ___ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
 3. ___ The cat is on Valium.
 4. ___ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they
        learned to speak through clenched teeth.
 5. ___ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.

 6. ___ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the
       number of people in the family.
 7. ___ No one has _time_ to wait for microwave TV dinners.
 8. ___ "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement
         officials.

 9. ___ You have to check your kid's Day-timer to see if he can take
        out the trash.

 10.___ No-Doze gives you bulk rates.

 How you rate:
     30    - a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
     20-29 - You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little
             going on in your life. Crank it up.
     10-19 - You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled
             life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered
             a parallel career path?
      0- 9 - Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do, anyway?