Chapter 6

I never cried. I was so angry with him for getting that poem. About 3 days later, I hadn’t eaten or left my room since my argument with AJ. He and Nick would come and check on me several times each day but each time I’d make them leave. Why did I get so mad at AJ? He was just trying to help. I thought to myself. “I’m so sorry AJ” I said aloud. I picked up the picture frame he had given me and read the poem. I looked at Brian (the 3 yr old Brian that is). “I guess it’s time to say goodbye.” I said.I got dressed and walked downstairs. AJ and Nick both shot up quickly.“Hey Maddy.” Nick said. “Look guys, I’m sorry for worrying you. AJ, I’m sorry for yelling at you. I have to go now. I have something I have to do.”

With that I walked out without hearing a word from either of them. I got the arrangement AJ made for me and put it in my car and drove to the cemetery....to say one last goodbye to my dearest Brian. I found his grave and put the arrangement into the ground.

“Hey Bri” I began. “Sorry I haven’t come to see you....you know how stubborn I can be.” I laughed to myself, knowing that Brian would have made a smart remark to that. “I want to read you something, I wrote it last week after the funeral.” I then began to read the poem:

A LETTER TO A FRIEND

Hey Buddy-sorry I can’t be with you right now-I miss you so much-I miss your touch...your arms around me-I miss not being able to talk with you...to hear you laugh...to see you smile...to see that twinkle in your eyes-I’m so sorry I wasn’t there-I couldn’t heal your pain-I never said good bye-I don’t know what I’ll do with you not here by my side but I know you’ll be shining down on me-walking me through this crazy thing we call Life-I know you’ll be waiting so -I guess I’ll see you there-I love you always-goodbye my dear friend.

As I read the last line I began to cry. I hadn’t cried for over two weeks. I was sobbing uncontrollably and fell to the ground in front of his tombstone. “I love you Brian.” I said through the tears. At that time I felt a hand on my shoulder. AJ helped me up and I cried on his shoulder. I turned to face Bri’s tombstone “I love you Bri, good bye my sweet.” I kissed my fingers and placed them on Brian’s picture. I turned and walked away with AJ.

That night I had a dream....

“I had to see you one more time, baby.” Brian’s soft voice told me. “I need you to know I love you with all my heart and always will. I’ll be waiting for you up here. I want you to know that everything’s going to be okay. You need to go on singing for me. Be strong for Nick’s sake, no one knows it but he’s taking this even worse than you. Do me a favor, try and tell the guys that I want them to continue the Backstreet thing without me. Make them see that it’s what I want. If they don’t, I’ll have to come back and see them too. I have to go now baby. Everything’s going to be okay I promise. I love you Maddy.” “I love you too, Brian!” I said as he vanished from my touch.

I then woke up. From that day forth I knew I was going to be okay.

I went on to have two albums (as of now). AJ, Nick, and I have a song out called “I’m Always Loving You”-I wrote it about Brian. Backstreet continued but not as a music group. They created a record label and wrote and produced stuff for many of their artists. They are the management team of many also, including me. I’m sure Brian is very proud of their success. They’re the biggest and best in the music industry. At least once a month, the guys and I take a trip to see Brian in Lexington. His loyal fans still bring beautiful flowers. His voice still flows through the radio waves and people still admire everything he did. He is now definitely an IDOL. I think I have grown to love him more and more each day as time goes on.

The End

 

**Author’s note: I, by no means, want or mean any harm towards Brian or any other BSB. I also do not feel the negativity towards Leighanne in real life as was stated in the story. I wish the two all the luck in the world. May God Bless them.

©copyright-June 2000

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Chapter 6

I never cried. I was so angry with him for getting that poem. About 3 days later, I hadn’t eaten or left my room since my argument with AJ. He and Nick would come and check on me several times each day but each time I’d make them leave. Why did I get so mad at AJ? He was just trying to help. I thought to myself. “I’m so sorry AJ” I said aloud. I picked up the picture frame he had given me and read the poem. I looked at Brian (the 3 yr old Brian that is). “I guess it’s time to say goodbye.” I said.I got dressed and walked downstairs. AJ and Nick both shot up quickly.“Hey Maddy.” Nick said. “Look guys, I’m sorry for worrying you. AJ, I’m sorry for yelling at you. I have to go now. I have something I have to do.”

With that I walked out without hearing a word from either of them. I got the arrangement AJ made for me and put it in my car and drove to the cemetery....to say one last goodbye to my dearest Brian. I found his grave and put the arrangement into the ground.

“Hey Bri” I began. “Sorry I haven’t come to see you....you know how stubborn I can be.” I laughed to myself, knowing that Brian would have made a smart remark to that. “I want to read you something, I wrote it last week after the funeral.” I then began to read the poem:

A LETTER TO A FRIEND

Hey Buddy-sorry I can’t be with you right now-I miss you so much-I miss your touch...your arms around me-I miss not being able to talk with you...to hear you laugh...to see you smile...to see that twinkle in your eyes-I’m so sorry I wasn’t there-I couldn’t heal your pain-I never said good bye-I don’t know what I’ll do with you not here by my side but I know you’ll be shining down on me-walking me through this crazy thing we call Life-I know you’ll be waiting so -I guess I’ll see you there-I love you always-goodbye my dear friend.

As I read the last line I began to cry. I hadn’t cried for over two weeks. I was sobbing uncontrollably and fell to the ground in front of his tombstone. “I love you Brian.” I said through the tears. At that time I felt a hand on my shoulder. AJ helped me up and I cried on his shoulder. I turned to face Bri’s tombstone “I love you Bri, good bye my sweet.” I kissed my fingers and placed them on Brian’s picture. I turned and walked away with AJ.

That night I had a dream....

“I had to see you one more time, baby.” Brian’s soft voice told me. “I need you to know I love you with all my heart and always will. I’ll be waiting for you up here. I want you to know that everything’s going to be okay. You need to go on singing for me. Be strong for Nick’s sake, no one knows it but he’s taking this even worse than you. Do me a favor, try and tell the guys that I want them to continue the Backstreet thing without me. Make them see that it’s what I want. If they don’t, I’ll have to come back and see them too. I have to go now baby. Everything’s going to be okay I promise. I love you Maddy.” “I love you too, Brian!” I said as he vanished from my touch.

I then woke up. From that day forth I knew I was going to be okay.

I went on to have two albums (as of now). AJ, Nick, and I have a song out called “I’m Always Loving You”-I wrote it about Brian. Backstreet continued but not as a music group. They created a record label and wrote and produced stuff for many of their artists. They are the management team of many also, including me. I’m sure Brian is very proud of their success. They’re the biggest and best in the music industry. At least once a month, the guys and I take a trip to see Brian in Lexington. His loyal fans still bring beautiful flowers. His voice still flows through the radio waves and people still admire everything he did. He is now definitely an IDOL. I think I have grown to love him more and more each day as time goes on.

The End

 

**Author’s note: I, by no means, want or mean any harm towards Brian or any other BSB. I also do not feel the negativity towards Leighanne in real life as was stated in the story. I wish the two all the luck in the world. May God Bless them.

©copyright-June 2000