Chapter 5
Shawn awoke with a jolt as the bus driver slammed on the breaks exiting the freeway. It was dark outside, and the bus was filled only with the quiet murmur of voices in the room next to her bed. Nick was still curled protectively around her, but she now strained to hear what the voices were saying. She picked out AJ's voice right away.
"Yeah, but obviously that doesnt matter to her, D. She's back there with Nick now. Who next? Kevin!?" He asked.
"You know better than that, AJ. Nick has liked her from the start. She doesnt want anything to do with me now because I wasnt there for her when she needed me. I knew she needed me but I wasnt there. I wanted to smooth things over with you. Nick was there to hold her after she'd lost us both. Thats why she's with him now. Its probably better that way, man." Howie said softly.
"Yeah." Brian agreed. "She still loves you man, but you have to stop being so stubborn about being a bachelor."
"Oh shut up Brian." AJ mumbled. "I dont see what's so bad about being single."
"Is that really what you want AJ?" Howie asked. " You certainly were upset when you thought she was with me. Is this one of those 'I dont want her but you cant have her either' things?"
"No no no no!" AJ said, his voice rising. "I do want her. I do. But this is too much at once. I do want her, though. I want her right here, right now and forever. But now she's with Nick."
"Let her be." Kevin interupted. "Just let her choose. Let her figure out who and what she wants. She's been through a lot recently, AJ. You have to take all that into consideration."
"I know, Kev, I know. But its so freakin' hard. Ya know? Its like, I dunno. Its so hard to explain what I feel and how and why." AJ said, trying to argue but not having a handle on his emotions.
"Just let her alone." Kevin said again softly. "Let her live her own life, and dont go off getting mad just because she isnt living the life you want her to."
Shawn curled up closer to Nick and he sleepily put an arm around her, pulling her closer against his warm body. She sighed and drifted back off to sleep. She didnt wake up again until the bus jerked again, sending the warm body beside her a few feet down, onto the floor between the bunks. He landed with a loud thud, followed by a stream of profanity as he stood up, meeting a smiling Shawn.
"What?" Nick asked, trying to keep the scowl on his face, and not succeeding as well as he'd like. "Cant a guy fall out of bed with a little privacy here?"
"Oh sure, he can try. But it doesnt sound like a very sturdy profession." Shawn replied with a giggle. Nick grinned and climbed back up into bed with her.
"Atleast I wasnt in MY bunk when that happened. I would have had farther to fall." He said with a laugh. AJ stirred, listening to their giggling, but he had to admit, Nick falling out of bed was always fun to watch. He stuck his head out of the curtains.
"Nick- you alright, man?"
"Whoa, sorry Bone. Didnt mean to wake ya. Yeah I'm alright. Landed right on my ass though." Nick replied with a grin.
"Its been awhile since you fell outta bed." AJ smiled.
"I know! Sorry you missed it, man. It was a real nice landing." Nick said, proud of the fall he'd made.
"Oh? That right Shawn?" AJ called out to her. His voice sending shivers down her spine.
"Yeah.It was a nice landing. Very ungraceful. Arms and leg flailing everywhere, a look of total surprise on his face before he landed. Very horror movie-ish." Shawn replied, looking over at AJ. He laughed, mumbled a good night and shut the curtain. Wishing he was the one over in her bunk, snuggled close to her, holding her, smelling the intoxicating scent of her... but atleast she smiled at him. And it still made his heart skip a beat.
AJ lay awake, staring at the close ceiling above him through most of the night, listening to the quiet murmuring in the bunk across from him. Obviously Nick and Shawn hadnt gone back to sleep after Nick had his trip to the floor. He held his breath, trying to hear what they were saying. Shawn was giggling.
"Like this?" Nick asked. Shawn laughed more.
"Yeah, just like that." she replied, her voice low. "Do it again." There was a pause, a rustle in the curtains and more giggles from Shawn.
"Damn girl! You know I cant do this all night." Nick laughed.
"Why not?" Shawn asked, disappointed.
"Because. I'm human. I'm tired." Nick replied. AJ exhaled heavily, putting his headphones on, turning up the volume to block out every sound other than the music. What Shawn and Nick were doing, he did not know and was now certain he didnt want to. Vivid thoughts filled his head, and he struggled to rid his mind of them. It seemed he had just closed his eyes, when Brian was running through, waking everyone up. The curtains flew open and a goofy faced Brian poked his head in.
"Morining sunshine! Time to get up!" He chirped. AJ grumbled and rolled over, turning the volume back up. "AJ! Dude, its time to get up! Now GET UP!" Brian grabbed the cd player, turned it off, opened the curtains as far as they would go and turned up the music on the bus. AJ put his pillow over his head but it was no use because before long, he felt fingers poking him in the ribs, and he happened to be very ticklish. He laughed against his will, curling up trying to get away from the clawing hands. He grabbed the hands that dug into his side, climbing down from hs bed, pulling the opponent against him. Shawn looked up at him, arms locked together in his hands. Her face flushed with a huge grin.
"Morning." She said, her eyes shining. Nick still lay on her bed, facing the two and smiling. It'd been awhile since anyone had seen AJ that happy. Laughing and smiling at the same time was pretty common up until recently. But it was good to see it now.
"What are you doing?" AJ asked, his voice deep with sleep.
"Waking you up, dumbass." Nick said with a grin stepping up behind Shawn. Shawn giggled, smacked AJ on the backside and turned to face Nick.
"Ok, Nicky. Lets go baby." Shawn grabbed his hand and headed towards the exit, leaving AJ to get up out of bed himself.
"Well, atleast you're on speaking terms..." Brian said with a smile as he breezed past.
"Yeah, great." AJ said, his sullen mood sinking back in. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and headed towards the front of the bus.
"Nick? Hey- is Shawn over there?" AJ asked into the phone, laying on his bed in the hotel room. "She is? Could you send her over for a sec? Thanks man." He hung up the phone and layed back against his arms. Within seconds, there was a light tap on the door.
"AJ- its me, open up." Shawn called from outside in the hall. Shuffling drifted from behind the door before AJ opened it with a smile.
"Hey..." He said raspily, shutting the door behind her. She walked in and sat on the edge of one of the beds.
"Whats up? You wanted to talk to me?" Shawn asked, leaning back on her elbows.
"Yeah I did..." AJ said. He let out a long sigh, then sat next to her on the bed. "I'm ready for a commitment. And I want you to be with me." Shawn blinked at him.
"Excuse me?" She asked, sitting up, staring back into his big shiny brown eyes.
"I'm in love with you Shawn and its killing me to see you with anyone else. I want you all to myself... for a very long time." He continued, grabbing her hand and lightly tracing her knuckles with his thumb. "Please... give me a chance to be the man you want me to be." Shawn felt the tears prickling at the back of her eyes as she gazed at the beautiful man gazing back at her, saying the words she had longed to hear.
"I love you too, AJ." Shawn whispered, her voice catching in her throat. She swallowed hard. "And you are already every bit of the man I want you to be. You always have been... You're just the way I like you."
