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"Grace honey its good to see you again," greeted Denise.
"Thanks Denise. Its good to see you," replied Grace as she walked in the kitchen of AJ's house.
"Hey Mom. Thanks for getting the groceries and stuff."
"Sure sweetie. Grace do you need help getting settled?"
"No. I'll take my suitcase to the guestroom. Talk to your son."
"Guestroom? Grace, aren't you staying in my room," asked AJ.
"Um No."
Denise said, "oh honey don't worry about me. It's fine if you two are sharing a room. You don't have to hide anything from me."
"Denise I'm not."
"Grace why are you staying in the guestroom," asked AJ. "Its not like we've never slept in the same bed before."
"AJ do you want to get into this now," asked a blushing Grace.
"That's my cue to leave," said Denise.
"No Denise! Don't leave," exclaimed Grace.
"Its fine sweetie. I need to go check on dinner. By the way, you two are coming over tonight."
"Mom."
"Don't Mom me. I will expect you in an hour. Bye," called Denise as she walked out of the house.
"I didn't mean for her to leave," said Grace.
AJ replied, "you didn't. Trust me no one makes my mom leave anywhere. Now tell me why you don't want to be near me."
"AJ that is not it."
"Pooh explain it to me."
"I know we've slept in a bed before, but we've never you know."
"Made love."
"Yeah or anything like it."
"And?"
"And I know you. If we are in the same bed you will want to."
"Make love? Well yeah."
"Well I'm not ready yet. AJ I've never," finished Grace with a whisper.
"Never? Not with any of your frat boys?"
"NO!"
"Sorry, I just thought. Wow."
"AJ!"
"Sorry. Why Pooh?"
"Well I wanted to be with someone I loved and I loved."
"Me. Damn Pooh."
"You're disappointed."
AJ cupped her face in his hands and said, "Don't ever think you disappoint me. It hasn't happened and never will. This is not a bad thing. You stay in the guestroom. I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready for. Tell me what you want and when."
"You sure."
"Of course."
AJ pulled her into a kiss. Grace rested her head against his chest. She never wanted to move. Finally, they pulled apart and got their bags in. They put all of Grace's things in the guestroom, then headed to Denise's for dinner. When AJ called one of his buddies, Denise pulled Grace into the kitchen.
"So you still staying in the guestroom?"
"Yes."
"Good! It will do him some good to work for someone. Besides, its about damn time he realized you're the right one for him. Welcomed to the family."
As they hugged, AJ walked in saying, "Kassi."
"Hi Kassi," greeted Grace taking the phone.
"Hi Grace. I hear you made it to the Sunshine State in one piece and with the car in tact. I guess that means you didn't let Bone drive."
Grace laughed, "I let him drive on open road, but not in any towns or cities."
"I'm sitting here and can hear you," whined AJ.
"Yes you are and shh I'm talking to Kassi."
"Woohoo you get him," cheered Kassidy.
"I do."
"Does this mean?"
"No! Have you and Nick," retorted Grace as a joke.
Kassidy quietly said, "no."
"Oh Kassi, I'm sorry. I was just teasing. I didn't really think you would. Not with well."
Kassidy interrupted, "Grace it's fine. You did nothing wrong."
"Kassi."
"Promise. I expect you to drag AJ down here tomorrow so I can see you."
"OK. See you tomorrow Kassi."
"Yeppers. Night."
"Night," said Grace and hung up.
"Pooh let it go."
"I can't believe I said it."
"It sounds like Kassidy understood," stated Denise.
"Yeah, but still. How insensitive!"
"Let it go baby."
"OK," agreed Grace as their evening continued.
"How's Grace," asked Nick as he stepped outside with their drinks.
"She's fine. Thanks," replied Kassidy, taking the glass he offered.
"How's Kass?"
"She's fine."
"No she's not. What happened?"
"I asked Grace if she and AJ had made love. She said no then asked if we had. I know she was only joking, but."
"It bothered you."
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry. I bet Grace feels awful."
"She does, which makes me feel worse. It's just that I never even thought bout it."
"Making love to someone else?"
"Yes."
"Well you don't have to think about it now. Kass sit here and enjoy the sunset."
She tried to enjoy the sunset, but as she sat there tears began to fall down her cheeks. Nick saw them, but didn't react. He knew she had to get through all the pain. He didn't immediately follow when she quickly went into
the house. He watched the sunset, then went inside to check on her.
He knocked on her door and said, "Kassi?"
"Come in."
Nick stepped through the door. She was lying curled up on her bed crying. He lay down and pulled her into his arms. He stroked her hair.
"I miss him so much."
"I know you do."
"I didn't get the chance to prepare this time. I knew it was coming with mom and dad, but Kevin was there. He was saying love you and see you later, then he was dead. I didn't get to say goodbye or all the things I wanted to
say. I hate that so much!"
"I know. I wish I could explain it, but I can't. All I can do is hold you when you cry and be here when you need to talk."
Kassidy turned to face him, saying, "Thanks Nick. You have helped so much."
"Anytime Kass," he replied while tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
"Gawd! I'm all snotty.'
"Yeah you are," chuckled Nick.
"Come on. I need tissue and we need to pick up around here. Grace and AJ are coming down tomorrow."
Kassidy grabbed a tissue off her dresser and blew her nose.
"Nice," laughed Nick.
"Oh hush," she scolded with a smile. She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.
"What's this for?"
"Thanks for hanging in there with me. I don't know what I would have done without you."
"Lucky for you, you will never have to find out."
"Good."
Chapter 38
"Come on in," said Nick as he opened the door and tried to hold the dogs back.
"Thanks Nick. Good to see you," greeted Grace as she hugged him then started petting the puppies. "Good to see you guys too."
"Hey Bone."
"Hi Nicky."
"Stop calling me Nicky."
"Chill. Where is Kassidy," asked AJ as they walked into the living room.
"I'm in here," called Kassi from the kitchen.
Nick fixed them all something to drink while Kassi hugged her two friends. She continued to put the finishing touches on the desert she was preparing. The dogs were milling around trying to get attention and any food that
dropped on the floor. Grace watched Kassidy. She looked rested and relaxed. Being here in Florida had been good for her. Grace had a feeling being with Nick helped even more.
"Earth to Grace."
"What AJ?"
"I told them you had some news. So tell them already."
"I've decided not to attend Medical School."
"Wow."
"AJ said the same thing Nick," said Grace with a giggle. "I've decided to do Music Therapy."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah. Why? Don't you think I can do it Kassi?"
"Of course I think you can do it. I think you are perfect for it! Do you're parents know? Have you checked out schools? Do you know where you want to go? When you will start? I know. I know. breath."
"Please! I told mom and dad last week. Don't give me that look. I wanted to tell you in person. I have checked out schools. Florida State and Miami both offer programs and I've already got information packets from them. I want to visit them before deciding on where to go and I plan on starting in the fall."
"Great. When are you making your road trips," asked Kassidy.
"I was thinking about going in the next two weeks. Would you go with me?"
"Of course! It actually perfect timing."
"How so," asked Grace.
Kassidy took a deep breath and said, "I was waiting for you to all be together when I told you."
The doorbell interrupted Kassidy. Nick reluctantly left the room. It was the remaining three Backstreet Boys and their significant others.
"What are all you guys doing here," asked Nick as they stepped inside.
"Glad to see you too," chided Brian.
"Now you know I'm glad to you see you guys, but didn't expect you."
Maddie said, "Grace told me they were coming for a visit today. I wanted to see Grace and Kassidy, so we're here."
"And Maddie called me and well you can figure out the rest," said Leighanne.
"Hope you guys don't mind."
"Naw. It's cool. We are all in the kitchen."
Kassidy's announcement was delayed while everyone visited. She sent Nick and Brian to the store for more food. Kevin got the grill going and everyone else pitched in with getting things set up. Kassidy was happy to see
everyone. She had pretty much kept herself secluded since arriving. Poor Nick had also isolated himself while keeping an eye on her. His buddy Brent and some other friends stopped by once or twice, but he had stayed
close to home.
Kristen was glowing at the end of her pregnancy. Kevin was being the nervous expectant father. Kassidy didn't miss the big diamond on Maddie's finger. She sad down next to Maddie after they had eaten.
"Have you set a date yet?"
"What," asked Maddie. Kassi lifted her left hand. "Oh not until we see how the next album is going."
"How long have you been engaged?"
"Since right before."
"Kevin died?"
"Yeah."
"You could have told me. I am happy for you."
"Sorry. We just thought we should wait."
"I understand. Howie," called Kassidy.
"Yes," replied Howie, jogging over to them.
"Congrats!"
"You told her?"
"She saw the ring."
"Hey I said congrats!"
"Oops. Thanks Kassidy," said Howie as he hugged her.
Kassidy told Grace to fill everyone in on her plans. Grace did and everyone was very excited for her. AJ remembered Kassidy was about to tell them something when everyone showed up. Nick sat beside Kassi and waited for what he was sure he didn't want to hear.
Kassidy started, "First I'm really glad you all are here. I've missed you. It's good being here and I owe that to Nick. You've been the best friend. As much as I love being here, it's time for me to head home."
"No Kass. This is the first time I've seen you," said Maddie.
"I know, but it's time. I have a life back in Nashville. It's time I deal with it."
"When are you leaving," asked Kevin.
"In two weeks. I will visit FSU and Miami with Grace then go home."
"We will miss you," said Howie.
"Enough long faces. Lets have some fun," ordered Kassidy.
The impromptu get together continued into the late afternoon, until Kristen drifted off and Kevin insisted on taking her home. Kassidy hugged all her friends goodbye. Nick helped her clean up, but remained quiet. Kassidy
found him on the dock after she called and made her flight arrangements.
"Hey you," she said as she sat down next to him.
"Hey."
"Nick tell me what's going on. I know you are upset with me."
"I don't want you to go."
"I know."
Nick looked at her and asked, "then why are you going?"
"Because my life is there."
"So."
"So I need to go back and face being there. I have to work through what I want to do."
"But Kass you know I love you. I'll take care of you."
"Nick I don't need someone to take care of me now."
"You did."
"Yes I did and I love you for doing it. However, I'm better now."
"What if you get back there and it's too much again?"
"Then I will work through it. I have to do this for me."
"Please don't go Kassidy. I'm going to lose you again."
"Nick look at me," she insisted. He turned to her and she ran her fingers through his hair.
"Kass I love you."
"I know you do."
"You don't love me anymore?"
"Nick it's not that. It's just that I have to work through all this. I'm not ready for a relationship and the way I feel right now I don't think I ever will be."
"Don't say that Kassi."
"Nick it's true. I loved Kevin. I can't turn that off just cause he died. You can't expect me to."
"I know."
"Nick you have a piece of my heart, but I can't be what you want and need. I am not a whole person right now. I have to get me back."
"I wish you could do that here."
"Oh Nick I know you do, but I can't."
"I'm going to miss you."
Kassidy hugged him; "I'm going to miss you too. You are so special. I want you to be happy."
"I'm trying Kass." v
"I know you are baby. It will happen."
They held each other. Nick buried his face in her hair. He tried to memorize the feel and smell of her. He didn't know what he was going to do when she left. He was worried she would go back and crawl back in her shell. But he also knew he couldn't stop her. This was something she had to do. And if he was honest with himself, he had to let her go, for both their sakes. Now if he could just convince his heart.
Chapter 39
Over the next two weeks, Grace and Kassidy visited Florida State University and the University of Miami. Grace preferred Miami, but it was more financially feasible to attend FSU. Kassi encouraged her to apply to both,
allowing Miami to be a back up if needed.
Four days before Kassidy was schedule to go home, Gerald Thomas Richardson entered the world at 9lbs 13oz and 22 inches. He had his father's dark hair and his mother's blue eyes. Nick and Kassi drove up to Orlando to see
The baby the day he was brought home from the hospital. All the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins were in town and had taken over the house.
"Oh Gerald you are a handsome young man. Yes you are," cooed Kassi, holding the baby. "Kris how are you feeling?"
"Better than I expected."
"Good. Ready to have another one," teased Kassi.
"Not this week," laughed Kristen.
"Where is my nephew," asked Brian as he entered the room.
"Hello to you too B," scolded Kristen.
"Sorry mommy. Hi," he said as he hugged her.
Leighanne had followed him into the room. She greeted everyone. Brian took Gerald from Kassi and replaced her in the rocking chair. Leighanne watched for a few minutes then disappeared. Kassidy followed her out to the
backyard where it was quiet.
"Leigh are you OK?"
"Oh sure," responded Leighanne, not looking at her.
"Leighanne what's going on?"
"Can we go for a drive? I don't want to talk about it where anyone can hear."
"Sure. Let me get the keys from Nick."
Kassidy told Leighanne to meet her out by the Durango. She slipped inside for her purse and the keys. It took a minute to get Nick's attention from the ballgame, but she managed to pull him out on the front porch. She
explained and he gave her the keys.
After they pulled away from the house, Kassidy asked Leigh where she wanted to go. Leigh directed her to a park. Kassidy pulled into a Baskin Robbins on the way, because she felt this talk would require the comfort of ice
cream. They took the ice cream and sat on a bench.
"Talk."
"How do I start?"
"Just start and it will work itself out."
"Brian and I want children."
"And?"
"Kassi we've been trying and nothing."
"Oh OK. Who knows?"
"Our parents and you."
"So Kristen and Kevin have no idea?"
"No! Why make them feel bad? I mean they just decided one day it was time to try and two months later she's pregnant."
"That's hard on you. The same basic thing happened to my best friend Michael."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Have you been talking to your doctor," asked Kassidy
Leighanne explained her problems. She also said the doctor wanted to start fertility treatments in a couple of months. Kassidy decided Leigh needed to talk with Michael, she called her best friend. When Mike answered,
Kassidy quickly explained then handed the phone to Leighanne. Michael and Leighanne talked for the next 25 minutes. Leigh was better when she hung up the phone. She had promised to call Michael when she had questions or needed someone to listen who had actually been through it.
As they drove back, Leighanne said, "Thanks Kassidy."
"Sure. I'm glad Michael could help."
"You helped too."
"Nah."
"Yes! You followed me out of the house and knew something was wrong. You offered to listen."
"Well of course I did. We're friends."
"Anyway thanks again. Are you ready to go home?"
"Ask me next week," joked Kassi.
"Understand. Nick is going to be lost without you."
"Don't say that."
"You know the boy is 100% in love with you."
"I know."
"I know you loved Kevin, but you also love Nick."
"Leigh I can't think about a relationship now. I was married to Kevin. I built a life with him. I can't just forget all of that and jump into another relationship. Besides I can't hurt his family that way."
"All I'm saying is don't throw away a chance to be happy," warned Leighanne as they pulled into Kevin's gated community.
Brian came out of the nursery looking for Leighanne. He was worried about her. Nick pulled him onto the front porch and told him Leigh and Kassi had gone for a drive.
Brian relaxed and said, "Good. Leigh needs to talk to someone."
"Things OK B?"
"Nick we haven't told anyone."
Nick interrupted, "I won't say anything."
"I know you won't. Nick, Leigh is having trouble getting pregnant."
"Wow."
"Yeah. It's been real hard on her, because she feels like she's letting me down."
"That's awful Brian."
"Yeah. I keep praying that if she can't get pregnant that she will find peace."
"But Brian I know you want to have kids."
"Yeah I do, but not at the expense of her beating herself up. We can adopt."
"True. I'm sorry you guys are going through this. If you need me, I'm there. Hey look their back."
"Oh my God!!!! It's the Backstreet Boys," screamed Kassi as she climbed out of the Durango.
Leigh came around the side of the vehicle and ran to them screaming, "Can I have your autograph? Brian you're my favorite. I just love your voice. Oh my God the Backstreet Boys!!"
"Um. Like Nick I named my pug NC after you. And I made my parents name my baby brother Gene after you," added Kassi.
"Really?"
"Uh huh!"
"Therapy is a good thing," said Nick as they went inside.
Nick and Kassi decided to stop by AJ's on the way home. They found their friends in the pool.
"Hey you two," greeted Grace.
"Hi."
"What brings you to town," asked AJ.
"Seeing the latest edition to the Richardson household."
"Isn't he just the cutest," asked Grace. "We saw them at the hospital yesterday."
"Yes he is," agreed Kassi.
"He just looked like a red, wiggly thing to me," said AJ as he climbed out of the pool.
"Men," said Grace with a roll of her eyes.
"Come on Nick. Help me get some drinks."
Nick followed AJ inside. Leaving the girls outside talking.
"How you holding up buddy," asked AJ.
"What do you mean," hedged Nick.
"I mean. Kassidy is leaving tomorrow. How are you holding up?"
"I don't want her to go. Bone how can I make her stay?"
"You can't."
"Some help you are."
"Sorry man, but it's the truth and you know it. If you try to make her stay you will loose her. She has to go through all this stuff."
"So what am I suppose to do?"
"Wait, but don't close yourself off."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, if you find someone attractive go for it."
"I don't want anyone else."
"All right, then wait and hope when she has worked this all through she comes to you."
"Great."
"I know it sucks but it's what you have to do. Now grab those glasses," ordered AJ.
They went back outside. After a few minutes Nick changed into the trunks AJ had borrowed and never given back. Kassi borrowed one of the new suits AJ had bought Grace. He had come home one day with 4 string bikinis. Grace had finally broken down and worn one that day.
Nick was already in the pool when Kassi and Grace came out. He stopped swimming and just looked at her. She had gotten back to a healthy weight. She had always insisted she didn't tan, but after being in Florida for two
months she had a nice glow. AJ splashed him.
"Hey!"
"Down boy," teased AJ.
"Bone how am I suppose to let that go?"
"You have to."
"Damn."
"I know."
"Nick likes that suit on you. Keep it," giggled Grace.
"Be serious Grace."
"I am being serious. That boy hasn't blinked since you came out."
"Well I think AJ is very taken with you in that suit."
"Let's hope."
"Oh really. So."
"Not yet."
"I take that to mean you are closer to it."
"Yes."
"Is he behaving?"
"Yes and I tired of it."
"Well he said you would set the pace. Maybe you should pick it up a bit."
"Are you telling me."
"I'm saying follow your heart. I know AJ loves you. You do what is comfortable for you. Now let's swim."
"I'm going to miss you."
"Me too. But we will stay in touch."
"I know. AJ," screamed Grace.
"Nuff talking. Swim!"
AJ had picked up Grace and jumped in the pool. Kassidy jumped in before Nick grabbed her. He followed her in. They all swam around for an hour or so. Kassidy then announced it was time to go home. She had to pack. She hugged Grace and AJ. They all said goodbye.
Once back at the house, Nick fixed dinner while Kassidy packed. Her flight was at 10 the next morning. They spent the night talking.
Nick waited with her at the airport. Kassidy worried about Nick driving home. He promised he would call when he got home and leave a message for her. He watched the plane until it took off. It felt like his heart was breaking on the drive home. He called as promised then fell asleep on the bed she had been using, with the dogs curled up around him.
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