Abstract
Child sexual abuse is not well understood. We must begin to take a more holistic and inclusive approach to understanding survivors and perpetrators of child sexual abuse so we can more easily prevent such abuse, or detect, stop, and heal it if it should occur. Current approaches that demonize the perpetrator and encourage survivors to stay in their role as the injured party, the victim, the survivor will not help us to move forward in solving child sexual abuse. We must recognize that survivors and perpetrators have an opportunity that comes from their unique experience. They have the opportunity to use their unique perspective to speak out to change the culture that enables child sexual abuse.Introduction
In June 1995 a child in my community disappeared while on her way to the last day of school. The community searched for her for two days and eventually found her body in a cardboard box in the State Park about half a mile from my home. In the investigation to follow it was discovered she had been molested then bludgeoned to death by her uncle. As the facts began to emerge it was known that her uncle had recently been convicted of a sexual offense for the attempted rape of a sixteen-year-old girl. He had held a gun to the girl’s cheek when she refused his sexual advances. The girl was able to get away by telling him she was pregnant. At the time of Rachel’s murder this same man, her uncle, was living in the Rachel’s home awaiting sentencing. Rachel Carver and her sister had been removed from the home of her mother because the mother’s boyfriend had been molesting her. California Child Protective services had been involved but it was never stated in the news articles whether they had agreed to the move to The Wickenhagen home or the move had occurred without their knowledge. Spokane Child Protective Services was unaware that the children had moved to Spokane and were not monitoring the events in the lives of the Wickenhagen household. A CPS worker stated, " Had they known there is a hundred percent chance Child Protective Services would have been involved". The Wickenhagen’s would not have been able to have custody of Rachel and Danielle because of this sexual misconduct conviction. Still there was no way for Spokane CPS to have known about Jason Wickenhagen’s convictions since the agency does not receive information about a sex offender until a sex offender is released from prison. A Child Protection worker stated that even in the event that they had known it is possible that the girls would not have been removed from the Wickenhagen home. They are not allowed to remove a child based on risk alone. This based on the fact that the girl who Jason Wickenhagen had tried to rape was sixteen years old and not considered a child (by the courts) and his release papers did not contain a stipulation that he was not allowed around children. Rachel’s mother had sent her to the home of her aunt and uncle to keep her safe and instead delivered her into the hands of her murderer. A child protective service worker stated he knew that Rachel Carver was a child at risk when she was two months old. Her father was physically abusive to their mother and sexually abusive to Rachel and her sister Danielle. Her parents divorced and their father was court ordered to stay away from them.
This story had a profound impact on me I was saddened by so many aspects of it. The ways the system set up to provide safety for children had so clearly gone awry. The lack of communication between agencies that work to protect children was appalling. The caseworkers and court system that was so overloaded with work that it was difficult for them to be aware of potential dangers in this case. I was also saddened by the fact that there were so many adults who were aware that Jason Wickenhagen was potentially dangerous and did nothing to provide safety for Rachel and Danielle. I was also saddened by the fact that it took the tragedy of a child’s murder to bring me to a greater awareness of the difficulties within our society that play a part in this tragedy. There were many in my community who were moved to take action. I attended a town meeting focused on preventing future abuse of children in the community. Like me these people were concerned and looking to make some changes in the legal system. Many of us were asking, why was a violent convicted felon allowed to live in the community while awaiting sentencing? Why was the community not warned? Why was there not communication between agencies of different states? How could this tragedy have happened? Could any of us have prevented it? How many more children like Rachel were there out there? How could we work to prevent future tragedies? I went to the town meeting and was disheartened to hear all the finger-pointing going on when I felt the problem was created by all of us. We live in a society where many consider discussions of sex extremely uncomfortable, we do not allow sex education in many schools, and we are bombarded with sexual messages in the media. We create an environment where it is still considered shameful by many to talk openly about sexual matters or sexual abuse. I found myself standing to address the 100 people there. I asked the members of the group (all adults) to stand if they had experienced sexual abuse, about forty people stood up. I asked them to raise their left hand if they had been abused by a family member 38 people raised their hand. I asked them to raise their right hand if their abuser had ever told anyone in their family they had been abused or if the family member had been prosecuted nobody raised their hand. I could not raise my own hand my stepfather had never faced prosecution and I had never told my family in order to protect the other children that he had access to. I felt this exercise illustrated an important area in the prevention of child abuse. All of these people who had stood were adults and they had never spoken up, had this silence perpetuated the abuse of others? I then asked them to consider the children at risk while they remained silent. I challenged them to speak up within their own families and communities!
I too had remained silent my whole life possibly paving the way for another child to be abused. I began to question myself. Why had I remained silent? What was I afraid of? Who was I protecting and why? It was the death of Rachel Carver that began the search to find my own answers; the research for this paper will begin to put some of these questions into greater understanding for myself and hopefully, for others. I began by revisiting my own history and the factors that had affected my choices to speak the truth within my family. For me it was the bigger question of how am I personally responsible for protecting children I know are at risk? How can what I have learned about abuse serve others? If one of my potential areas of influence is within my own family how can I remain silent?
The abuse I experienced within my family occurred in the sixties and there were few with the awareness of sexual abuse and how to treat it, how to prevent it, and how to work with families. People did not speak of it, in many psychiatrists’ offices the child was held responsible for being sexually precocious. I have grown up while the insight in this area has also grown. Our society has made great progress towards increasing awareness and talking more openly about sexual abuse. There is greater freedom to speak the truth about our history. There are also many different treatment modalities available for healing sexual abuse available. Many people choose to not address the sexual abuse they experienced through counseling remaining silent and either working it out in their own way, or not.
Our society has grown up in the area of sexual abuse and still we have a long way to go if we are going to make greater impact on the numbers of children being sexually abused.
As grown people who have experienced abuse perhaps it is essential (in my mind) that we take this truth to a new level the level that empowers us within our own families and may help to prevent the abuse of generations to come. There is a time to speak up I am not suggesting children or newly healing people take this step until they are ready and able to face the new challenges this telling might bring. I believe there are a lot of adults in the world who have experienced abuse and are aware that a child is being abused or that an abuser is living in their home or community and remain silent just as I did. These are the people that need to be challenged to question "why am I not speaking about this?" My research for this paper stems from these beliefs.
Be sure to check next month's issue for the continuation of Jacque Davis' research into child sexual abuse.
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Jacque Davis is married with 3 wonderful children. She enjoys weaving, creating art, writing fiction, and marathon walking. She works as a hospice volunteer and is also a volunteer for Leukemia Lymphoma Society Team in Training by helping people train to walk marathons to raise money for Leukemia research and patient support.
She has an extensive personal history of sexual abuse that has shaped her life in some miraculous ways.
She has a Bachelors degree Transpersonal Psychology and also works as a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist helping people to find their inner resources for healing life issues such as sexual abuse, terminal illness, and trauma. Her favorite work is helping the dying to make peace with their life and their death.
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NHPCOPlease send any comments on this piece to Survivor Haven
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