I'm Thankful For My Father's Last Years
By:Bea Sheftel
I'm thankful for the last years of my father's life. He moved to Connecticut after suffering a heart attack. His initial recovery was in a nursing home near me. I went everyday to be with him. I made up photo albums to show him the family and which grandchildren belonged to which of us.
Once he was on the mend it seemed to take us full circle to when I was a child under five and my father and I were very close. He had been happy when I was little because he had a good job in a company where he hoped to become a partner. Things changed over the years when the owner of the company retired and never gave my father the partnership he'd promised him all those years. Years my father worked long into the night and on weekends without any extra pay. He became a bitter and angry man and often took his frustration out on us, his three kids. There was my brother, sister and I.
In the end, the last three years of his life, the family was brought together. My sister and brother and their families visited at least once a month, traveling to North Connecticut from New York and Long Island. The first year we met at the nursing home. Sometimes we took dad to a nice restaurant. We even rented a suite at a hotel for Christmas for the family could stay over, and we celebrate the holidays together. The toxic years seemed to fade away in the love of my brother, sister, and I and our families which surrounded my father.
Later, my dad moved to a rental in a retirement community and we gathered there for family meals. My husband, son and I visited at least once a week, sometimes twice. Over the holidays we stayed overnight or brought dad to our home to celebrate. Dad didn't remember the years he used his hands against us. He didn't think the emotional badgering he did was harmful, even though it undermined our egos. In other words, he thought he did the best he could, while we knew he had been toxic to us.
I remember our last Christmas together. The family was together. We laughed, hugged, shared good food and reminisiced over the happier days. I filmed it which is certainly a treasure since I have my dad on tape. He enjoyed these visits and so did we. So I'm grateful for the last years of my father's life. I'm grateful for the family dinners, the laughter, the mending of our hearts. I'm grateful he was a good grandfather who loved his grandchildren. I'm grateful they loved him. I'm grateful I was with him when he died, that he had the last rites, that I prayed for his soul. I'm grateful I heard the angels since with joy when his soul entered him.
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