December is often seen as a time of rebirth or new beginnings. Each year millions of people find joy in getting together with their families to celebrate the various holidays. For others though, these family celebrations can be a nightmare they can’t seem to awaken from. This is especially true for the survivors who know their abusers will be at the gathering. Survivors who decide to put on a brave face and ignore the fear, anxiety, flashbacks and nausea that being in the same room with their abusers can cause. There are also those who go to family gatherings knowing they are going to be ostracized by other attendees who feel the survivor has undermined, sabotaged or in someway harmed the family by speaking out about the past or confronting the abuser.There are still others who avoid family activities like the plague. They choose to turn their back on their family of origin for their own sanity and well being. Some would say these survivors are cowards and wrong for not buying into the “forgive and forget” idea.
Personally I applaud these people. To turn your back on your family and walk away is a major step. It takes a great deal of courage and will power. If you know such a person, be sure to give them support and not condemnation. They don't need someone to judge them, they need someone who can love them unconditionally. They need to know love does not mean pain and suffering.
This month you will meet and read about survivors who have taken different roads. None of these roads traveled have been easy for the survivor and very few would say they have reached the end of their journey.
I Am Thankful For My Father's Last Years Bea Sheftel's story of thanks concerning her father, forgiveness and a family brought together. Christmas Then Bea Sheftel tells more about her family and its effects upon the holidays. Saved Connie Spector's poem of salvation and the joy of celebrating the birthday of Christ. Home For The Holidays Carol Huber exams the sometimes painful irony of the Hollywood and Halmark Card versions of the family gathering at Christmas. The Holidays Christ Gartner's poetry and story behind Christmas' past and present Not Today and Little Memories Two poems by Susan Maree Jeavons of love, hope and childhood memories. Unholy Holidays "Linda" looks back upon the choices of seeing her mother during the holidays, facing her abusers and the unforseen consequences. Unchained Melody Another offering by "Linda" but this one is on how the chain of abuse has been broken by her family. Conquering the Ghosts of Christmas Past Susanne Lux's look into the idea of burying the "Ghosts of Christmas Past." This isn't one to miss! The Immortal By Tenna Perry (reaction) Susanne Lux's reaction to the poem by Tenna Perry, The Immortal Screaming Thankfulness E.R. Bridges has taken past abuse and turned it into something that has actually become a cause for thankfulness. Mom, Please Don't Make Me Go! Heidi Kaminski's newest article concerning domestic abuse that after divorce turns into child abuse. The Hospital Melody Tyme's courageous step towards getting help in a place where many fear to ever consider. Speak To Me Susan Maree Jeavons disturbing look into the lives of the abused. The type of children who will never know what the term "Happy Holidays" could possibly mean. Just Say No To Abuse A special Suite 101 event hosted by CE.Yvonne LaRose, CPC. It offers a wide variety of articles and personal stories concerning all forms of domestic and child abuse. Several regular contributors to Survivor Haven have entries into the event. If You Haven't Learned It Yet, Do It Now! Tenna Perry's reminder to all who deal with children in anyway, to go back to class and learn the basics. Study Description Mary Pudmoreff, M.Ed. a PhD Candidate at the University of Alberta has asked for participants in her research study concerning child sexual abuse. Free Newsletter Be sure to sign up for our monthly newsletter! !
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