Fear
By:Carol HuberIf I'm angry then I'm afraid and it's time to ask questions
About Who, What, When, Where, How & Why
My anger is a cover up
A coatWorn by the black hole of fear which resides within
A cloak
A cape
A gravity well
Sucking in every shining
Ray of hopeLeaving behind it a vacuum of
Every ounce of laughter
Every micro of energy
Darkness
Despair and
Regret
It is
a Façade
a Masque
a Pretense
That there is no ravenous monster raging within
Trying to empty out my essence as if removing seeds from a melon
Devouring any and all
Courage
Initiative and
Vitality that it might happen across
I name Thee Destroyer of Love and of Trust
Thou art Leech, draining away the life's blood
Bringer of Isolation
And Desolation
Poisoner and Poison of muscles and of nerve, Who
leaves behind Thee paralysis as Thy dower
Thou art a Tall and Forbidding Wall that surrounds me
Of Limitations
Of Impossibility and
Of Restrictions
Impeding all progress I might make
Allowing nothing in
And nothing out
Finally now
I am tired
Of runningI turn and face thee and the realization comes
Of hiding
Of destruction
You are not wall, but Door
To Possibilities
To Solutions and
To Answers
A Door which only I can open
My questions are the keys to the unlocking
Who's bidding do you do
What are you hiding
When was "someday" going to happen
Where do you come from
How do I end you, and
Why should I allow you to haunt me any longer
As I ask these questions and the countless offspring they engender
As answers make themselves known
As possibilities arise and
As solutions spring into existence
Changes within me occur
Shifts in
Perception,
Perspective and
Attitude
The kaleidoscope is turning
And as a new picture emerges
I can now give myself permission
To Change
To Challenge and
To Confront the old fears and limitations
New lessons I am learning of
Acceptance
Healing and
Forgiveness, most especially of myself
And now I come to the hearts of the matter
Mine and that of this fear
And realize the only connections between them
Are the ones I have allowed to flourish
fear, I name you illusion
And bid you fade away
And then I walk through your tattered remnants
Into the light you hid
you have no power over meCJH - 04/11/99 Carol Y. Huber © - 09/97
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