Once upon a time,
so very long ago..
A little girl lived
Alone in her soul.
Waiting and watching
Listening and learning.
How to be a woman ,
One day.
The child tried to believe
That life was good and kind.
Her dreams of that were dispelled.
Of unspoken truths known
Her dreams were nightmares..
She fought hard for some sense
In her world filled with hatred
By ones she knew and trusted.
She only believed in fairy tales.
The ones with happy endings.
Ones where her knight
Would finally come.
Her fairy tales turned to horror
To what she knew as a child
Her knight disappeared
Into some unkind kingdom
Time and time again she tried
To believe what she wanted to be true
To secure the feeling of safeness
One she never knew.
To her horror, she awoke
To dreams of tears
Following her for many years
Still she believed…somewhere
Womanhood, had plans for her
Some would never believe.
Choices were made
Long hard roads she traveled.
Accepting of responsibilities
Resigning to the fact
She couldn’t be that little girl
Couldn’t stay on track.
Patient in her journey
She continued on
With all her sadness…
Still searching
With little time for herself
Knowing to little joy.
The woman continued…
And the years flew by.
Alone again, she found herself
Looking out the window
Her dreams…desires
Staring at her…so empty
Soon she made a choice
One that came from inside
The soul, so tired
Now not trying to hide.
She believed that if she tried
To rely on her instinct
Maybe her soul
Would show her a new life.
With a remembrance of a day
When her spirit wasn’t so worn
She started to breathe
All breaths of her own.
Acting on wisdom
She never before had
Waiting patiently
For her truth to make a stand.
She is now the woman
She knew was there
Buried so deep
Now she can just BE
The journey was worth
Every slip of the way
To have earned this space
In the new world today.
Her knight finally came
Her journey is being shown
In daily beautiful blessings
Ones she’s never known.
Joni K. McGowen with her significant other teach self defense and their website can be found at: http://areusafe.net/jkmindex.html and http://areusafe.net. When visiting the site, be sure to read Joni’s “Open Letter to Women.”
Please send any comments on this poem to Joni in care of Survivor Haven.
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The Spring 2003 Issue
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