It Just Happened
By: Carol Huber
Something horrible happened
Suppressed
Repressed
37 years ago
On Sunday morning last
Memory surfaced
And rage rose within
(It just happened)
Locked away for all those years
In the recesses of my mind
Hidden from me and from the world
An onion created in filth and rot is
Peeling away
Layer upon layer upon layer
All of the old walls are disintegrating
Falling down
Once chained doors, open on shrieking hinges
Revealing skeletons in the closet
Or children
Me
(It just happened)
I know this is only the beginning
I’ve just started to remember
There’s more to come
Welcome to hell
I suspect it gets worse from here
I’ve never been this angry in my life
Never been in a killing rage
At least not for myself
I guessed 3 years ago
That’s not the same as remembering
(It just happened)
I hate
I hate and I don’t know how to hate this way
And part of the hate is for the hate I’m feeling
Somehow I’ll get through it
I have the strength
I have the support
I have the love
But I hate and rage and I want him dead
I have every right
Still… he’s not worth it
(It just happened)
Yes, it happened 37 years ago
to a 4 year old little girl
named Carol
BUT DAMMIT! IT JUST HAPPENED TO ME!!!
CJH – 09/06/00
Carol Y. Huber © 09/06/00
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