By:Margaret Helmstetter
I am bruised and bleeding,
Mama don't know,
Mama wouldn't care.
He told me so.
I am his toy.
He loves me.
He told me so.
Round and round the refrain dances through my head,
I should have been better. I should have been good.
My sisters gather round. Pressing warm bodies close to mine.
Gentle hands soothe the bruised and torn flesh.
Should I stay?
Should I go?
If I stay this will happen again.
If I go, will my sisters hurt then?
If I stay will my sisters be free?
If I go, will my sisters suffer?
If I stay will it get worse?
If I go, where will I go?
If I go, who will care?
Round and round the refrain dances through my head,
I should have been better. I should have been good.
Should I stay?
Should I go?
Arms hurting as I cover the bruises.
Legs hurting as I cover the cuts.
Gentle voices asking "Why?"
Gentle hands stroking.
Where can I go?
Who can I go to?
Will it happen again?
Round and round the refrain dances through my head,
I should have been better. I should have been good.
Slipping out into the night.
Shorts and shirt.
twenty five cents.
A phone two miles away.
Can I make it?
Who do I call?
Should I go?
Should I stay?
Dodging lights.
Hiding fear.
So alone, why me?
Round and round the refrain dancing through my head,
I should have been better. I should have been good.
Hands shaking, temptation to run.
Pushing in the quarter.
Listening to it ring.
Should I hang up?
Should I stay?
Should I go?
Who will care, I should have been better.
Gentle voice telling me I am not alone.
Gentle voice asking where I am.
Should I stay, should I keep quiet.
Dancing from foot to foot. The bruises hurting. The cuts stinging.
Pain making decision hard.
Round and round the refrain dancing through my head,
I should have been better. I should have been good.
Talking, speaking, sharing, running at last.
Should I stay?
Should I go?
My choice, I go, I have gone. I am me.
Finding courage, finding gentle hands
that don't hurt.
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