When I was a child, abused and in need,
Not knowing how to reach out,
You were there, giving a child hope to trust again.
I would never know until years later
That unconscious thoughts of You
Saved me from myself.
I was so afraid, and I knew You must hate me
Because of what happened, not understanding,
Ashamed to face the terrible truth.
I must have found comfort in You,
Though I didn't know it then, many times
You saved me from myself.
A bond I didn't perceive or understand.
Why did suddenly turn to You?
What made me summon You about this horrible cruelty?
The trust I had then has carried on,
Never knowing then, but now aware,
That You save me from myself.
I never told anyone about
The secrets I had to hide for so long,
Until You came into my life.
My undiscovered belief was not hampered,
And now I know that
You have saved me from myself.
Screams, cries, desperate to stop the pain.
Late nights talking, Your presence somehow got me through.
Your love gives me strength for the moment.
An inner strength I didn't know I had
Carries me through times when I want to give up.
You have saved me from myself.
I reach out to You and You are there for me,
To guide, to love, to comfort, to hold.
I want to give up, just stop the pain, I can't go on any longer.
When I feel I cannot walk one more step,
You help me carry the load and,
Once again, You save me from myself.
Like a knife through my soul, I hate the pain and
The image that reflects in my mirror.
I've lost faith and hope, getting weaker by the day.
But You never give up, tireless, loving, trying to make me see
That ending life is not the way to end the pain.
You never stop trying to save me from myself.
It is with great joy that I celebrate your Birth,
And show You the unending love You have always given.
Lord, God, My Heavenly Father,
My abusers are not the winners
For they do not know You as I do, because
You have many times saved me from myself.
My abusers live their lives for themselves,
Feigning in their celebration of You.
A Blessed day each year they still try to ruin.
But I am calmed by my belief in You,
Wanting to honor You because I am
Finally saved from myself.
No one should live life without beliefs,
For it is only in You that I have found comfort,
Only in You that I have found strength.
On your Birth Day and on every other,
I now face my abusers without fear,
Because I have been saved from myself.
Copyright © 2001 Connie SpectorReturn To:
Email: TPerrywritings@aol.com