By Lorraine Ondera
The little girl sits in a field of sweet smelling grass. Her eyes glistened in the sunlight as they captured the pure innocence of a tender child. They were fearless and filled with trust and happiness. Warm summer wind brushes threw her soft golden curls, and she feels beauty and peace. The girl knows no evil as she looks into the eyes of a man whom she calls her friend. She is lead by her little hand into a world she does not know. The little girl finds herself trapped in darkness where the sweet smelling grass no longer is and the warm summer breeze no longer blows. For the first time a tear trickles down her little cheek. A tear filled with pain and fear she doesn't understand.Confusion consumes her, so many questions that no one can answer, so many feelings that nobody feels. The little girl looks into the mirror. For the first time she asked herself, who am I and why am I really here. Her shinning eyes are suddenly dulled and her innocence begins to disappear. He didn't mean it she says, its all just a game, he’s my friend and I trust him.
Time passes and she sees no evil as she looks into the man’s eyes. Once again the tiny child is lead by her little hand. What she sees is sinful, what she hears is unbelievable, and what she feels is true fear and pain. Again a tear falls consisting of yet another drop of her soul, which is now diminishing. As the girl’s tears fall silently, laughter prevails from her friend. It began filling the air with evil and consuming her trust.
With trust and innocence lost she now calls her friend the monster. She sits and ponders why me? Her tenderness is turned into nothing. She is dirty, worthless, and afraid. She wants to tell Mommy and Daddy, but oh how it will hurt them so. She wants to tell her friends, but truth they can never know.
Time passes the little girl looks again into the eyes of the monster. Trust she no longer has, innocence no longer there, her soul vanishing. What more does he want? Fear strikes her she is no longer able to move. The monster thrusts her to the ground with evil in his eyes. The little girl knows what is expected of her just be a "good little girl" she finally realized. With each touch the girl withdrew going farther and farther into her own little world. Fear burned within her parching the last of her soul. With a sudden screech of hope she yells "no please¦” Her cries silenced and the pain pierced into her. The little girl was now completely gone.
She sits there, the warm summer wind brushes threw her soft golden curls. The girl only feels evil and she smells the bitter sent of cologne. She still feels pain that she doesn't understand. Time passes the little girl is now trapped within a women's body. The monster expects more out of his little girl. Fondling turns into violence, pain turns into agony, and tears no longer flow.
Pressed against the stone cold brick, the girl is forced to look into her monsters eyes. All she sees is lust and of that she doesn't understand. Before the monster inflicts the pain, I love you is spoken from his lips. Spoken in such a way that the air turned to a biting cold. His dry lips then touched her soft skin caressing her. Their eyes meet again and she notices his satisfaction. As the pain turns to numbness, she questions herself if she is really human, is this just a nightmare? Minutes pass the monster stops and the tortured little girl falls to the ground. The rawness burns her like fire and the tears begin to brew, only to soon flood her soft velvet skin. The pleased monster walks away whistling an evil tune. The little girl knows she must attempt to climb to her feet. She realizes that the monster will be back soon.
Taking a scolding hot shower she tries to wash away the pain. No matter how hard she scrubbed she couldn't come clean.
Now she lays her head down to sleep. Her eyes stare lifelessly out into nowhere. She ask God to take her life, for she cant take the pain anymore. Then she ask herself what if I tell?? With in that instant a bit of hope brew inside her.
She places a pin to a piece of paper to begin to tell a story. Terrified of the outcome she still keeps writing. The paper ends up in the hands of who is thought to be the girl’s guardian angel. With that angels words the little girl was suddenly freed.
Now the girl sits in a field of sweet smelling grass. She looks back at her past knowing what she has overcome. A smile appears upon her once so saddened face. Innocence is replaced with strength, tears are filled with joy, and trust slowly begins to regain. The warm summer wind brushed threw her soft golden curls. With a message of love and peace. " You are finally free."
Please send any comments on this piece to Lorraine Ondera in care of Survivor Haven
Return To: