Funny Arguments with Christians, Part I

I am C14Doc in these arguments, and I have edited the actual screen name of the other participant for legal purposes and in order to reduce the amount of hate mail I get.

P*M*: hey

C14Doc: hi

P*M*: u r an asshole God is REAL DUMB ASS

C14Doc: riiight

C14Doc: and obviously your only way of proving it is by coming on here yelling profanity

C14Doc: lol....your calling ME a dumbass and YOU'RE the one praying to an invisible being in the sky?!

C14Doc: LOL!!

P*M*: i feel really sorry for u

C14Doc: aww, ya do? and why is that?

P*M*: cause u r going to be stuck down here when the end times come and go through the anti-christ and the Devil and all the other stuff

P*M*: how bout u go get a Bible and read Revalations

C14Doc: I've read the Bible. that's WHY I don't believe.

C14Doc: AND, even if there was a Hell (which there isn't)

P*M*: how come please tell me

C14Doc: I'd rather reign in Hell than serve in Heaven

P*M*: WHY

C14Doc: can you see/hear/touch/taste/feel God?

P*M*: u can see Christ through people and THERE WAS A JESUS CHRIST IT IS DOCUMENTED u can hear God Through prayer u can n't touch or taste or smell him but u can feel his love

P*M*: ca u see hear touch taste or feel evolution?

C14Doc: you can feel his love? lol, do you feel this "love" after you've taken a few shots of tequila? lol

P*M*: hahah ur a funny faggot

C14Doc: and yes, Jesus probably did exist, but there's no telling how many false messiahs the Romans killed…which just goes to show how dumb it is to piss off any large group of Italians.

C14Doc: I'm a funny faggot? oooh, good argument

C14Doc: too bad I'm a GIRL, dipshit

C14Doc: P*M*: ca u see hear touch taste or feel evolution?

C14Doc: LMAO!!

P*M*: so how did the blind men see or how did thoughs people get cleared of Leprase how did those people get raised from the dead? tell me that

P*M*: fine whore

C14Doc: evolution is not a thing, it is a theory

C14Doc: hmm, did you see any of that happen?

P*M*: IT WAS DOCUMENTED

C14Doc: it's in the Bible, so it must be true, huh?

C14Doc: how do you know the Bible is correct?

P*M*: how du u know it isn't

P*M*: du u tink someone just started to write the bible on fictional events

C14Doc: the Bible contains more contradictions and false prophecies than any other book in history.

P*M*: how so

C14Doc: I'm not going to believe in something that can't even get its stories straight.

P*M*:

P*M*: well one thing is that you can see things today that happened because of what happened in the bible times

C14Doc: how about this one, on seeing God:

C14Doc: God CAN be seen:

"And I will take away my hand, and thou shalt see my backparts." (Ex. 33:23)

"And the Lord spake to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh to his friend." (Ex. 33:11)

"For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved." (Gen. 32:30)

P*M*: ok

C14Doc: God CANNOT be seen:

"No man hath seen God at any time." (John 1:18)

"And he said, Thou canst not see my face; for there shall no man see me and live." (Ex. 33:20)

"Whom no man hath seen nor can see." (1 Tim. 6:16)

P*M*: there u go

C14Doc: it says 2 different things

C14Doc: and thats only ONE topic that it contradicts itself on

P*M*: it is Metaphorically speaking

C14Doc: oops, you're re-defining God to fit your explanation

C14Doc: that doesn't wash

P*M*: not really

C14Doc: so, "For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved." and "No man hath seen God at any time." is NOT contradictory??

P*M*: then it says but you won't see my face in ex 33:23

C14Doc: so it contradicts itself yet again

P*M*: IT IS METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING

C14Doc: you're re-defining God and the Bible

P*M*: no i am not

P*M*: people speak metaphorcally all the time

C14Doc: yes, you are. instead of accepting that the Bible has its fallacies you're making up excuses to back it up

C14Doc: AND, if it IS "Metaphorically speaking", how do you know the whole Bible isn't one big metaphor?

C14Doc: because it was translated by phophets??

C14Doc: and how many times has the Bible been translated? how do you know which one to believe?

P*M*: well they it is true the aren't contradicting we are told that we can not see him but that we can talk to him like we are face to face

C14Doc: read what you just wrote and tell me how I'm supposed to comprehend that.

P*M*: we are told that we can not see him but that we can talk to him like we are face to face

C14Doc: yeah, just like I can't see Elvis, but I could talk to him face to face?

C14Doc: then you realize you're talking to yourself

P*M*: cause he is dead

C14Doc: and god is alive?

P*M*: no God is a spirit

P*M*: jesus was

C14Doc: how can a spirit create things?

P*M*: ya

C14Doc: and how can a spirit have human emotions, like jealousy and rage?

P*M*: God is a trinity God the Father (CREATOR) God THe Sin (Jesus) and God the holy Spirit

C14Doc: so now Jesus is part of God?!??

P*M*: JESUS IS GOD IN HUMAN FORM

C14Doc: uh-huh

C14Doc: even if Jesus existed, that doesn't prove God existed

C14Doc: or exists

P*M*: well gtg we will continue this conversation later

C14Doc: riiiight....go run tell mommy that the big bad atheist scared you