Christian Whining

  1. "The Fool says in his heart that there is no God." You call me a fool, and yet you're the one who devotes his life to an invisible being of questionable existence.
  2. "You're going to Hell because you don't believe in Him!!" "If man is good only because he fears punishment, and hopes for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed." --Albert Einstein
  3. "God made everything around you. That proves he exists." WRONG!! That's called circular reasoning; you assume your conclusion.
  4. "Prove there isn't a God." You can't prove a negative - example: I say there's an invisible green tiger hovering above your head. Just because you can't prove that he isn't there doesn't mean that he is.
  5. "Read Revelations [or other parts of the Bible] and then you'll believe." I HAVE read the Bible, and that's WHY I don't believe. Why in the hell should I live my life by something that can't even get its stories straight?
  6. "I used to be an atheist." I used to be Catholic.
  7. "Do you think the apostles would have died for their beliefs if they weren't true?" The Heaven's Gate people died for their beliefs, which was that they were going to be transported to Heaven by a spaceship following a comet.
  8. "Cult leaders (Jim Jones, David Koresh) and criminals aren't true Christians." Ok, so why do so many people in prison pray to Jesus? And what is a true Christian? Anyone who belongs to your little fundy group and agrees with you?
  9. "The Bible stories (The Flood, etc.) are just metaphors." Then how do you know the whole Bible isn't just one big metaphor?
  10. "Adam and Eve were the first humans." That's genetically impossible. Had they been the original and only humans, their descendants would have resembled something from a Dr. Seuss book due to the inbreeding.
  11. "Why are you so angry at God?" How can I be angry at something that doesn't exist? It would be as if I argued that you were angry with Santa Claus.
  12. "If you believe in God, and he's real, then you'll be eternally happy. But if you don't believe, and he's real, then you'll burn in hell. And if you do believe, and he doesn't exist, then what have you lost?" Basically a "better safe than sorry" argument (Pascal's Wager). How do you know which god to believe in? Or which faith is the true faith? What if there are multiple gods and you've been worshipping the wrong one?
  13. "I feel sorry for you, you must be such a sad person." Actually, I'm a very happy person, thank you. I am happy that I don't have to rely on the "security blanket" of the idea of a god.
  14. "Why must you spoil people's happiness by bashing their beliefs?" I feel that ignorance is a disease, and should be wiped out.
  15. "You should try to have an open mind." I do have an open mind, but I just don't allow stupidity to enter it.
  16. "You're stupid." Hey, I'm not the one talking to myself. (aka praying)
  17. "I'm praying for you." While you're at it, could you pray for a margarita to appear on my desk?
  18. "God bless you!!" Did I sneeze?
  19. "If God isn't real, then how come it says 'In God We Trust' on our money?" McCarthyism. It used to say "E Pluribus Unum."
  20. "I did not come from a monkey." SWEET FUCKING CHRIST!!! Evolution does NOT says humans came from monkeys, it says that we both came from a common ancestor!! Get your facts straight before you spout off your misunderstandings.
  21. "The United States was founded on Christianity." WRONG!! The USA was in fact founded on the right ot religious freedom, when our forefathers came to this country to escape religious persecution. [my Early America page explains this.]
  22. "There is no proof for evolution." Hmm, when was the last time you went to a natural history museum?
  23. "Darwin recanted on his deathbed." Again, WRONG!! This is a myth started by a woman named Lady Hope. She claimed to be at Darwin's bedside at the time of his death, and she claims that he recanted all of his scientific theories and accepted Jesus. In fact, Darwin's sister, Henrietta, stated that Lady Hope was not even present at Darwin's death, and Darwin never took back any of his scientific ideas and research.
  24. "Science says that something cannot come from nothing, and that proves that something must have created everything." Then what created God?
  25. "I'll be laughing at you from heaven when you're burning in hell." He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  26. "I know God exists because he delivered me through my alcoholism [drug addiction, depression, etc.]" Then why did he let your problem occurr in the first place?
  27. "If God doesn't exist, then how do you explain miracles?" People interpret chance happenings of nature in order to suit their beliefs.
  28. "You'll be sorry when you're burning in hell." I will? Are souls heat-sensitive? Does you soul inherit your body's nerve endings in order for you to feel pain in hell? How does that work?
  29. "The fossil record was planted by Satan to trick humans." --or-- "You're possessed by a demon that is blinding you from the Truth." Umm......drugs are bad, mmmkay?