I Lie In The Dark
By Kira
KRKitten@aol.com
This poem makes Mr. Ishida a bad guy and is a little on the depressing side. If you like 'happy little bunnies romping on a sunny hillside', pass this one up, OK? Don't flame me if you don't like it and don't flame the author either! Thank You.
Matt watched his brother's regular breaths, as he slept in a land unpolluted by nightmares. Protecting his brother was why he was still around, why he kept his secrets to himself. It had "happened" every night before the divorce, the yells, the screams, and the slaps…
~ Flashback ~
His father was home. Matt knew by his heavy footfalls that he was drunk. Matt held his slumbering brother, covering his own ears against the storm that was brewing. He didn't have long to wait.
I lie in the dark
And I hear them shout
I don't understand
What they're fighting about
If I cover my ears, I won't hear what they say
If I close my eyes, it will all go away
"God dammit! You made a mistake again! Can't you do ANYTHING right!" Mr. Ishida yelled at his wife, who shrank away from him.
It makes me afraid when he gets so mad
And sometimes I wish that he wasn't my dad
He drinks too much liquor, he yells and he swears
Mommy says it's 'cause he just doesn't care
He doesn't care for me
"And look at Yamato's grades! He doesn't get anything right! And another note from his teacher about a fight! Can't you control the kid!" Mr. Ishida slapped his wife, and she cried out.
I wonder what's wrong
What is wrong with me?
It's got to be something that I did
Because daddies should love their kids
Matt covered TK's ears with his hands, willing the child not to wake up in the midst of the battle.
I try and I try
To be so good
To do what they say,
Always do what I should
So why do they yell?
Don't they know how I cry?
It makes me feel like there's nothing inside
Nothing inside of me
Matt squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking from the corners and falling on the fair hair of the toddler in his lap. This was his fault. If only he did better at school, if only he made friends, if only, if only…
I wonder what's wrong
What is wrong with me?
It's got to be something that I did
Because mommies should love their kids
Finally, the screams and yells stopped, and his father went to bed, leaving his mother to cry over broken dishes and bruises. After a time, she, too, went to bed.
Matt uncovered TK's ears, and climbed into his own bed, the grim events of that night still fresh in his mind.
I lie in the dark
And I hear them shout
I don't understand
What they're fighting about
Forever and ever, they battle and blame
Night after night, it's forever the same
Night after night, it's forever the same
~ End Flashback ~
Epilogue
Matt listened to TK's steady breathing, and slowly let himself slip into sleep, warmed with the knowledge that TK would have peaceful dreams, unhaunted by memories.Back to the No Yaoi/Yuri Index
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