Digi-dorks Part 3
By Easter
yokomansion@hotmail.com
Hey everyone!
Welcome to another edition of the dramatic angst-ridden series, Digi-Dorks, by yours truly, Easter. This version is somewhat different, because I was inspired by the wide variety of music in the world and I decided that the next Digi-Dorks would have to be a musical. So I took a few songs, messed with the lyrics, typed up disclaimers, and we were ready to go. You may recognize some of the songs in here. If not, I'm putting little disclaimers at the end for all the songs I used, since none belong to me. You may also be interested in knowing that I wrote this story entirely while wearing bunny ears. :P
Easter digivolve to......BUNNYMON!!!!!!
THE SPECIAL 'THANK YOU' SECTION
These guys are invincible!!!
Ucchan-sama: Digi-dorks would never exist without you!!!! Arigato!!!!I've visited, like, five 'El-Hazard' sites...aren't you proud??? Miz scares me, but I like Rune Venus. Ucchan gave me lotsa help with ideas, names and stuff. Thank you!!!
Merc-sama: The genius of anime humor. I LOVE your site!!!!! When is part twelve gonna be out?? Soon...I hope.....
Kyra-chan: For telling me my songs are good! Thank you!!!
Jessia-chan: For giving me the verse for "The Experiment Will Go On", Thank you!!!
Everyone-sama: Thanks for being supportive!!!!email me!!luv, Ester.
Takeru-chan: I love you!!!!!!!!
Things you need to know before reading Digi-Dorks: version 3.0 - Digital Labyrinth:
1) see up above. It IS a musical and none of the songs belong to me. At times the characters WILL break into song unexpectedly. You've been warned. When they sing, I put *singing*, so you'll know.
2) Digimon does not belong to me. It belongs to the creaters, to Toei and to Saban, I guess...
3) This fanfic is just for fun, it doesn't reflect my true feelings on Digimon, Mr. Bill Gates, Queen Liliuokalani of Hawaii, the songs I have used, the writers or singers of the songs, capital punishment, swearing, assault & battery, or anything else. If you want to know my true opinions on these things for some bizarre reason: email me.
4) Takeru rules.
5) Why did I call part three "Digital Labyrinth"? Well, there's a labyrinth for one, and two, the story is long and confusing, like a labyrinth. Yep, this IS a long story, you might wanna take a break somewhere to go and have your life. That takes care of that.
6) I'm kinda tired, can ya tell?
7) Why did I call the series "Digi-Dorks"? Maybe Tai can explain it here better than I can:
"So what are we supposed to do, just stand around here like a bunch of dorks?" ~Tai, in 'Ikkakumon's Harpoon Torpedo' God, if thats not pure inspiration, I don't know what is.Plus, you gotta read Merc's "Sailor Dorks"!!!! I got a tummyache laughing, personally.
8) Email me with anything....rants, venting, jokes, ideas, flames (sure, why not? They'll be deleted most likely, but... ^^), and blind dates....I am single, after all :P. And, what the heck, while we're at it, why not marriage proposals too...like I said, I'm a little tired right now.
9) If you've got email, don't open anything with subject called "I Love You", even if it looks like it's from someone you know. There's an email virus going around.
10) This story is probably rated G, or PG if you wanna be strict, but there's no big problems for the kiddies ^_^ hey kiddies!!!
11) Remember to have fun!!!
Digi-Dorks: version 3.0 - Digital Labyrinth
(Prologue)
Easter: hum.....*furiously typing*
Patamon: whatcha doin'?
Easter: *#!@*%&!(@#!!!!???? Oh, hey Patamon it's you!
Patamon: Is this "Digi-Dorks: part three"??
Easter: Yup, sure is!
Patamon: Where am I?
Easter: Well....
Patamon: ...
Easter: Actually...you're not in this one.
Patamon: WHAT!?!?!
Easter: Well, Angemon is. He's in charge of the Digimons.
Patamon: But I'm not in it...not at all????
Easter: no.....
Patamon: WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-
Easter: *hugs Patamon* ohh, since it's a musical, why don't I let you sing
a song right now? That can be your part, okay?
Patamon: okay....will you sing with me?
Easter: Okay. This song is called "Sailor Matt"
Patamon: Hit the lights and cue the music!!!!
Easter & Patamon: *singing*
Fighting Taichi by moonlight,
Breaking hearts by daylight,
Inspiring many a Yama website,
He is the one named "Sailor Matt"
He will always turn his back on a friend,
TK's the only one he'll defend,
There's no one in the world he'll befriend,
He is the one named Sailor....
Sailor Izzy!!!
Sailor Hikari!!!
Sailor Joe!!!
Sailor Takeru!!!
With an attitude so negative,
He is the one named "Sailor Matt"
Fighting Taichi by moonlight,
Breaking hearts by daylight,
His eyes inspiring all the girls to write,
He is the one named "Sailor Matt"
He is the one named "Sailor Matt"
He is the one...... "Sailor Matt"!!!!
Easter: Enjoy the story!!!!
Patamon: I wanna sing another one.....
('Digital Labyrinth' - a swashbuckling adventure with music, danger, and a little romance :P.....BUT FIRST!!!! let's recap: In Digi-Dorks: version 2.0, Our digidestined heroes were saved from Kuwagamon's jaws by their own digimons, who they'd been searching for. But their digimons turned on them and attacked them! When Izzy was finally able to put up a shield, the digimons flew off, taking the unconcious Matt and TK with them. Then the remaining five children noticed Kari was gone too! Tai and Mimi went in one direction to search for Kari, while Sora and Joe went the other way to find Matt and TK. Izzy stayed behind to finish his.....experiment...and now,
Digi-Dorks: version 3.0 - Digital Labyrinth)
(scene: It is, once again, a sunny day in the Digital World. Tai and Mimi
have been following a roundabout path down the mountain for several days,
without any major revelations as to where Kari might be. As they walk
around the corner of a mountain, as amazing sight greets their eyes....)
Tai: Whoa...what is that???
Mimi: It looks like a giant maze! Eew- like the kind Izzy puts his
lab rats in!!!
*It is a giant maze, known as a labyrinth. The walls are ten feet
high and made of hedges. The labyrinth covers all of the island,
except for the mountain they stand upon*
Tai: Well, there's no use avoiding it. We've searched this whole
godforsaken mountain, and no sign of Kari. She MUST be in that maze!!!
Mimi: But Tai, we'll get lost in there!!! Besides, we have't searched the
whole mountain at all; there are five other trails-
Tai: SHUT UP MIMI!!!! It's like I said, Kari MUST be somewhere in that
maze...AND I'LL BE THE ONE TO FIND HER!!!!!! The PLOT WON'T GO ANYWHERE IF WE DON'T!
The narrator said so!
Mimi: ...whatever...
(scene: At the foot of the mountain, on the opposite side from Tai and
Mimi, Sora and Joe have just entered the labyrinth. On close inspection,
one finds that the hedges forming the maze have been immortalized by certain
creative minds who've weed-whacked into them such phrases as "Hank + Fifi
4-ever" and "death to Bill Gates")
Sora: *reading a weed-whacked message in a hedge* 'tai sux' ...Matt
must've come this way, Joe!!!
Joe: *reading another hedge message* 'Kari's hot' ...hey I guess TK was
here too!
Sora: *looks at the 'Kari's hot' message* hmmm... looks more like
Angemon's handwriting to me...
Joe: hmmmm....
Sora: hmmmm....
Sora & Joe: Naw, couldn't be!!!
Mysterious Voice: na nana na naaaaaa na....
Sora: What was that?
Joe: Uh, a mysterious voice. Sora, let's keep going.
Sora: Woah, that's some GREAT music!!! *wandering off*
Joe: Sora? SORA!!!
(scene: Izzy, who's still up on the mountain. He has built a large
container resembling a refrigerator and is standing proudly before it)
Izzy: Yeeeeeeess.....yes, my pretties. You are the darling results of the
extraction of trillions of nucleotide groups from seven of the greatest
digimons of all time!!! Oh yeah and Joe's neurological ribonucleic acid
polymerase too. Within hours you will hatch, to meet me, Daddy Koushiro,
your creator. You will undergo rigorous training, known as 'boot camp', and
then...oh, then! Then together, we'll FIND those imbecilic 'friends' of
ours, dispose of them, and OVERTAKE THE DIGITAL
UNIVERSE!!!!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! *kisses the incubator*
(scene: The exit of the Digital Labyrinth opens onto a bright and sunny
beach by an ocean. There are two solitary buildaings on this beach. One is
a tall, white, shiny new dome. The other is a run down lean-to made of
petrified driftwood, hardly big enough to hold a piano. On the door to this
shack there is a flimsy sign displaying "Digimon Main Boardroom". From
within the shack comes an outburst of noise. The digimons are meeting - all
except Angemon and Angewomon)
Digimons:*singing*
Look Down, Look Down,
Don't look him in the eye,
Look Down, Look Down,
You'll hear it till you die,
Biyomon: *singing*
The sun is strong,
It's hot as Meramon,
Digimons: *singing*
Look Down, Look Down,
Our Digivices are gone,
Gabumon: *singing*
I know he'll wait,
I know that he'll be true,
Digimons: *singing*
Look Down, Look Down,
Yama's forgotten you.
Gomamon: *singing*
I've done no wrong,
Dear Joe please hear my prayer,
Digimons: *singing*
Look Down, Look Down,
Dear Joe just doesn't care.
Look Down, Look Down,
You'll always be a slave,
Look Down, Look Down,
You're standing in your grave.
Angemon: *enters* What's This?!?!!?
Gabumon: S-S-Sorry, Angemon, sir, we were just...
Angemon: Just procrastinating on your jobs, wasting time on 'singing' and
'merriment' and 'here-we-go-round-the-mulberry-bush'?!?!?! Why don't you
just play 'Digi-Spin-The-Bottle' while we're at it!?!?!? Hey Palmon,
Gomamon, don't you look at each other that way!!!! Sit down, all of you, we
have important business to discuss.
Biyomon: Angemon, sir, well, we were thinking, sir- wouldn't it be easier
just to destroy those two digidestined in the cage out there?
Angemon: WHAT?!?! And miss this chance to torment them??? No, my
digi-minions, the children must suffer. I have consulted the top experts in
the field of juvenille enslavement, and they tell me the first necessary
step is to break the will of those involved. I want everything done to make
those boys forget they were ever digidestined. Understand???
Everyone: Yes, Angemon, sir!
Angemon: Good. I've brought a device which may be helpful in converting
Matt and TK to our side.
*He pulls out a hot pink, magical, sparkly, star-shaped wand*
Everyone: Ooooh, Angemon, sir!
Tentomon: What is it, Angemon, sir???
Angemon: This is a highly technical and professional device which enables
the user to turn any human he desires...into a digimon!!!
Everyone: Wow, Angemon, sir!!!
Angemon: I am leaving it in your...capable...hands. Do not fail me!!!
*He leaves. The Digimons stare dumbly at each other*
Everyone: ???
Biyomon: So, uh... what do we do now???
Agumon: Okay, who's up for poker???
*Angemon's new pink wand gets thrown out the window*
Everyone: ME!!!!!!!!!!
(scene: Down the beach from the Digimons' shack is a beautiful, tall white
dome. Inside the dome is a room elaborately furnished in the American
Colonial style. Matt and TK are being held prisoner here)
TK: ...Matt?
Matt: WHAT TK?!?!?!
TK: Am I ever gonna see Kari again???
Matt: *@#*^%*&!!!!! SHUT UP TK!!!!!!!
TK: *silence*
Matt: *silence*
TK: Matt? What does *@#*^%*& mean???
(scene: High up on another mountain. An area has been cleared and turned
into a kind of resort. Kari is reclining in a beach chair and sipping
lemonade. Angewomon is nearby)
Kari: Aaah, this is the life. No more of my dense brother and his idiotic
friends. My plan to sneak into the digiworld under pretense of being the
'eighth child' is working perfectly. I was even able to fool that fool
Myotismon and defeat him to make it back here. Now that the digidestined
are split up again, I'll destroy them, one by one, and GAIN CONTROL OF THE
DIGITAL WORLD!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Angewomon: ...psycho....
Kari: WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?!?
Angewomon: ...nothing.
Kari: Good. Come, Angewomon, let us begin our glorious conquest!!!
*they move out*
(scene: Mimi and Tai, who by now have become hopelessly lost in the
labyrinth)
Mimi: Hey, Tai? Have you noticed our hands are, like, REALLY big???
Tai: Shut up, Mimi.
Mimi: But I'm tiiiiiiiiired!!!!!!!!
Tai: Mimi, why don't you just sit here and I'll go on?
Mimi: Hey! I may be ditzy, but I'm not stupid!!! You'd ditch me and never
come back!!!!!
Tai: Why, Mimi, I wouldn't THINK of- hey, what's that???
*He points. Mimi turns and looks. Tai runs off*
Mimi: What? Huh? I don't see anything! Tai?... TAI?!?!?! He's gone!that
*@#*^%&%!!!! He's gonna be sorry!!!
*She marches off to find Tai*
(scene: Sora and Joe, in another part of the labyrinth, have stumbled upon
a mysterious girl and boy. The boy bears a truly frightening resemblance to
Tai, he's even got the vestigal goggles. The girl wears glasses, a strange
helmet, and aviator-type pants. She also has long purplish hair. She's got
a guitar out and is performing for the others)
Mysterious Girl: *singing*
Hikari and Mimi were the best of friends
So were their digimons.
Both visited the Digiworld
Of which they were rather fond.
After saving the world Hikari went out
Lookin for some hot new guys.
Mimi looked all around this town,
but all she found was Tai.
well they hadn't been going out two weeks
When Mimi started gettin pissed
Y'see Tai was a schizophreniac,
And he drooled in her mouth when they kissed
Well she finally got the nerve to tell Tai's parents,
She let them take it from there,
But Tai had hired a mafia hitman
To put her in intensive care.
Right away Hikari flew in from TK's
on a run-down subway train,
She held Mimi's hand, and they worked out a plan,
And it didn't take 'em long to decide:
That Tai had to DIE.
Goodbye, Tai,
That cottage cheese; it tasted all right to me, Tai.
You feelin' weak? Why don't you lay down & sleep Tai?
Ain't it dark, wrapped up in that tarp, Tai?
The Kamiyas came by to take Tai home
They searched the house high and low,
Then they smiled real big and said "Thank you girls,
If you hear from him, let us know."
Well the weeks went by and spring turned to summer
and summer faded into fall,
And it turned out Tai was a missing person
Who nobody missed at all.
So the girls brought some land at a roadside stand,
Out by Heighton View,
They sell Digivices and Yama Plushies,
and they don't lose any sleep at night,
'Cause Tai had to DIE.
Goodbye, Tai.
*we need a break* Let's go to Digi-World, Tai,
We'll pack a lunch! And stuff you in the trunk, Tai.
Is that all right? Good, let's go for a ride, Tai!
Hey, hey, hey,
Hey, hey, hey,
Hey, hey, hey.
Sora: *clapping* Wow, that was great!!!
Mysterious Girl: Thanks!
Sora: What's your name, mysterious girl?
Mysterious Girl: I'm Miyako. Who are you?
Sora: I'm Sora, and this here, this is Joe!!!
Joe: *blushing and drooling* P-pleased to meet you, Miyako...*sigh*
Sora: He has allergies. *nudges Joe*
Miyako: Sora...and Joe.... See, Daisuke, you idiot, I TOLD you we were in
the wrong season!!!
Daisuke: Well, really, how do you expect me to tell?!?!
Miyako: You're right. I shouldn't expect so much from someone whose role
model is Taichi Kamiya.
Sora: Watch it, girlfriend!!! You're insulting my guy!!!!!!!!
Miyako: Well how can I help it when there's just so much to insult???
Sora: *@#$*^%&#!!!! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!!!!!!
*the "Battle of the Helmet Heads" ensues, as Joe and Daisuke look
on sheepishly*
Daisuke: ...girls...who need's 'em?
Joe: *drooling* Miyako.......
(scene: Up on the mountaintop where Izzy is. Izzy is hugging the
incubator)
Izzy: Aaah, my children. I-
*noise from behind a rock*
Izzy: Huh? Who's there???
*Kari and Gatomon come out*
Izzy: Kari!?! What are you doing here?!?!?
Kari: I might ask the same question. I thought you had gone with the
others.
Izzy: I had to stay, and, uh, finish my experiment!!!
Kari: What experiment?
Izzy: That's classified information, Kari!
Kari: Oh? PREPARE TO DIE!!!!
*Gatomon attacks and pins Izzy against a very large rock*
Izzy: KARI!?!?! What are you doing????
Kari: That's classified information, Izzy! But, I suppose, since you're
about to become cat food... Gatomon and I have intricately designed a system
to separate and destroy each of you digidestined and overtake this world.
Goodbye, Izzy.
Izzy: WAIT!!! Kari,I believe I can be of assisstanct to you in your
genocidal endeavor.
Kari: Hold it, Gatomon. And how exactly could you help us?
Izzy: My experiment has been specifically designed for just such an
operation. If you let me live, I could be of invaluable use to you in
conquering the digiworld. Actually, if you hadn't come, I was going to
perform a hostile takeover myself.
Kari: Hmm, so you're saying you and I would take over the world...together.
Perhaps... but I'd heve to know what your experiment is first.
Izzy: No problem. See this incubator here? Radiatory blacklight is
serving to nurture these recombinant nuclein aciditory eggs. The amino
acids within the eggs are a combination of the most desirable traits, taken
and put through electrophoresis, from Digimon of mearly all phenae, and Joe
too.
Kari: ???
Izzy: In other words, these eggs contain a new type of Digimon, more
powerful than any the Digiworld has ever known! So what do you say?
Kari: It's a deal.
Izzy: We'll team up and destroy the digidestined.
Kari: *thinking* This computerized freak thinks he can be MY parner!?!?!
I'll use him, conquer the Digiworld, then he will die along with the
others!!! Although....his genius is strangely attractive
Izzy: *thinking* Tai's baby sister couldn't do anything on her own. Once
the Digiworld is captured I'll toss her in a playpen and be done with her.
But...suddenly I feel an unnatural stirring within me...could it by that
Yokomon I ate for breakfast???
(scene: Matt and TK, alone in their prison. TK is crying)
TK: WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Matt: SHUT UP TK!!!!! whiny little brat...
TK: OH, big brother... I know I'm just a little kid, but... I - I just want
for you to love me like I love you... I'll try to be brave Matt...
Matt: Shut up, TK!!!
TK: But I'm gonna miss all our friends so much!!!!!!
Matt: TK!
TK: WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Matt: This isn't the end, TK. Don't you worry, little brother.
TK: Because you'll protect me???
Matt: No. I can't protect you TK. If any one of those Digimons got a whim
to rip us into shreds, it's probably gonna do just that, and we'll die
gruesome, horrible, graphic, bloody deaths.
TK: WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Matt: But it'll be all right, TK. Come here, I'll tell you why.
*TK sits in Matt's lab*
Matt: *singing*
The sun'll come out, tomorrow,
Bet your tag and crest that with tomorrow,
Those jerks'll pay!
Just thinkin' about, tomorrow,
Makes me wanna put 'em outta their sorrow,
Today!!!!!
When we're stuck in a cage with psycho Digimons,
I just stick out my chin, and smirk, and say, oh,
Those *@#*^%&$s'll pay, tomorrow,
Once we blow their brains right out tomorrow,
They'll rue the day!!!!!
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
Sweet Vengeance - Tomorrow!
It's only a day away!
Join me TK!!!!
Matt & TK: *singing*
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!!!
Our Vengeance - Tomorrow!!!
It's only a Daaaaaaaaaaayyyyy,
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,
Waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!
*Matt and TK hug*
TK: Matt?
Matt: Yeah, TK?
TK: What is a *@#*^%&$???
(scene: Sora, Joe, Daisuke and Miyako, walking throught the labyrinth)
Sora & Miyako: *giggling*
Daisuke: I just don't get it. Five minutes ago they were pulling each
others' hair and swearing they'd kill each other...
Joe: That's a girl's idea of friendship for ya...easy come, easy go...
Sora: *slaps Miyako* You *@#$*^%&#!!! How dare you say that about my
lipstick!!!!!
Daisuke: Here we go again....
(scene: Tai is lost in the labyrinth. At the moment he's performing a
pathetic stand-up comedy routine for a bunch of Yokomons and their infamous,
ruthless queen, Liliuokalanimon)
Tai: So, uh, what do you get when you cross a cow with a bicycle???
*silence*
Tai: A MOO-tercycle!!! Get it?!?!? AHAHAHA...ha......hum.......
*silence*
Tai: Hey, I just flew in from Tokyo and BOY ARE MY ARMS TIRED!!!!!
*silence*
Tai: Geez....
*Mimi suddenly appears from around a corner. Tai throws himself
shamelessly at her feet and bawls uncontrollably*
Tai: OH MIMI!!!!
I'm-so-glad-to-see-you-I'm-so-sorry-I-left-you-and-I-got-caught-by-this-vicious-gang-of-Yokomons-and-they-won't-let-me-go-until-I-do-something-that-pleases-their-infamous-and-ruthless-queen-liliuokalanimon-but-I've-tried-everything-and-I-just-can't-do-it-oh-mimi-I'm-sorry-for-leaving-you-and-I'll-never-do-it-again-and-I'll-bow-down-and-kiss-your-dear-precious-feet-eternally-and-I'll-do-anything-you-want-just-please-HELP
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mimi: *sigh* Fine...
*lights go on, musicians start playing, and suddenly Mimi's on
stage with a microphone in her hand*
Mimi: *singing*
Daylight, time to save stupid Tai's butt...
Will the Yoko Queen be pleased?
She is smiling alone...
In the sunlight, the Yokomons collect at my feet,
And the band...begins to play...
Palmon, not a good thing about you...
When I think of your talking...
I attempt suicide....
I remember, a time my ears never suffered:
The day before...I met you...
Every Yoko seems to have,
A sweeter voice than you....
Not to mention, they're a nice pink color
And you're just an ugly green thing...
PAAAAAAALMOOOOOONNN!!!!!!! It's so easy to leave you.....
All alone to starve and die,
And go off on my own.
I'm sure then I'd be able to get on my own feet...
And a good life can begin.......
Everyone: *applause* Mi-mi! Mi-mi! Mi-mi! Mi-mi!
Liliuokalanimon: You have pleased me, friend of Tai, enought to make up for
Tai's imbecility and extremely unpleasant sense of humor. You shall
continue on your journey, guarded by a tribe of one thousand and one
Yokomons. Does this please you?
Mimi: Oh, thank you! Yes, it does! Come with me, Tai.
*Mimi picks up Tai, and they continue, followed by a bright pink
escort of 1001 Yokomons*
(scene: Matt & TK, in their dome. The digimons have arrived at the door)
Matt: What do you want?!?!?!
Biyomon: We're tired of poker...
Agumon: Angemon told us to torture you so......
Gabumon: We're gonna play dentist instead!!!
*Digimons grab Matt and drag him towards their shack*
Matt: NO!!! You'll never take me alive!!!! TK!!!!!!!!!!!!
TK: BROTHER!!!!!!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Digimons take Matt away and lock TK up again*
TK: Oh, no.... I hope he remembered to floss.....
(scene: Izzy and Kari, up on the mountain. They are wrapped in each others'
arms)
Kari: Oh, Izzy, I never knew true perfection until I met you!!!!!
Izzy: Oh, Kari, I would give my own ribosomes to help your body manufacture
all the acids it needs and transport them to the your channel proteins in
order to make your cellular respiration flow more smoothly!!!!
Kari: ???.... Thanks, darling.
Izzy: No problem, cupcake.
Kari: Oh, Izzy...*singing*
Every day in my head, I see you, I feel you,
Your theories consume my whole mind.
It's like the time that spirit took over my body,
And used me to talk to all you.
Here, there, I really don't care,
I believe that science does go on.
Once more, you open the door,
And our love glows like phosphates,
Your experiment goes on and on....
Science touches us one time, and lasts for a lifetime,
And it goes on after we're gone.
Experiments that you do, are true things, I'll hold to,
And never let go till we're gone.
Here, there, I really don't care,
They are here in my heart and
Your science goes on and on....
You're near,
There's a theory I hear,
You'll conclude that our love is real.
We'll stay forever this way,
Our love glows like phosphates,
Your experiment goes on and on....
Izzy: Oh Kari... my analytically processing neurological amino acid
sequence is transparant in comparison to the illumination of your
dioxyribonucleic acid sequence, down to the very last ribosome!!!
Kari: ??? I love you sweetie.
Izzy: I love you too honeybunch.
(scene: Sora, Joe, Daisuke & Miyako have somehow found their way out of the
labyrinth and onto the beach. They are standing outside of the white dome
where TK is)
Sora: *giggles* Oh, Miyako, you always have the best ideas!!!
Miyako: *crying* Oh, Sora, you're the best friend I've ever had!!!!
Sora & Miyako: *giggling* *crying* *giggling* *crying*
Daisuke: Oh no...
Joe: *sigh* Miyako's so cute when she laughs....*sigh*
Daisuke: WHAT was that Joe?!?!
Joe: Uh, nothing...
Miyako: So here's the plan. We wait until the digimons are walking out in
the sunshine. Then, we ambush them and beat 'em up with everything we
got!!! How's that sound, Joe? Joe? JOE!!!!!
Joe: *drooling*
Daisuke: Joe! Joe, snap out of it!!! C'mon Joe!!!!!
(scene: Inside the Digimons' shack, where they are 'playing dentist')
Dentamon: Now open wide Matt.
Matt: *mouth tightly closed* mm-mmm!
Flossmon: Open your mouth Matt!!! OR DIE!!!!
*holds up gigantic dentist's drill with chainsaw, needles, and
smoke and pieces of flesh flying everywhere*
Matt: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(scene: Tai, Mimi and their 1000 Yokomons - they had eaten one for an early
lunch - have just stumbled out of the labyrinth)
Tai: We made it!!! But where's Kari???
Mimi: Nevermind Kari!! Do you hear that???
*screams of bloody murder coming from the shack*
Tai: Sounds like Matt!!! That pretty boy- what's he gotten himself into
now???
Mimi: Tai, prepare the Yokos for battle. Distribute our weapon of mass
destruction as we have reviewed in plan 16c. Let's move out!!!
Tai: Aye-Aye Si- Ma'am!!!!
(scene: Up on the mountain, Izzy's experiment is reaching its climax)
Kari: Muffin, what's happening to all the eggs?
Izzy: They're hatching, lovebutton.
*The eggs have begun to open and out of them crawl many human-
like figures. They look like humans but are about the size of
rabbits. Each has a notebook in one hand, and a pencil in the
other. Although each one's hair is styled differently, all
have hair exactly the color of Joe's hair. Izzy pickes them up
one by one as they hatch and march along*
Izzy: You see, my precious little cherry? These are the newest type of
Digimon, never before seen!!! They are of a new phenae, I call it the
fanfiction phenae. Ah! This one *picks one up and kisses it* this will be
called Ashmoriamon! And this *kisses another one* I call this
Sounashamon! Oh, look here, sweetheart! *kisses another one* here's
LadyMimimon!!! Oh, and here's one of my favorites!!! It's Kyramon!!!
*kisses Kyramon*
Kari: *looks on in disgust* You can just forget about me ever kissing you
again, Koushiro, darling.
Izzy: *kiss* Maemon, *kiss* Karanamon, *kiss* Jademon, *kiss*
HaleyDalemon, *kiss* Kiramon, *kiss* Samanthamon, *kiss* fallenange13mon,
*kiss* Yakumeimon....
Kari: Ick!
(scene: On the beach. The digimons have finished their dental work on Matt
and are dragging him back to the white dome, with no idea of what's about to
happen to them. Matt is limp and hangs his head carelessly. Suddenly Sora,
Joe, Daisuke and Miyako attack)
Sora: *jumps on Biyomon's back* HOW DARE YOU DO DENTAL WORK ON MY
YAMA-SAMA!!!! HIS TEETH ARE PERFECT!!! TAKE THIS!!!! *beats up Biyomon*
Joe: Uh....hiya, Gomamon.
Gomamon: Hey, Joe. Nice to see you conscious again.
Daisuke: So... you're the first-season digimons, huh?
Agumon: You're the second-season humans, huh?
Miyako: *faced Gabumon* C'mon, I could take you, y'overgrown stuffed dog!
Gabumon: *attacks Miyako* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
*Suddenly out of nowhere Mimi appears atop a small hill. She
wears army gear reminiscant of WWII aviation soldiers, and
she weilds a long,sharp, leather whip. Behind her, Tai
pathetically struggles to push up a flagpole bearing a pink
flag adorned by the face of Mimi. Behind them, 999 Yokomons -
they had eaten another as a quick snack before the fight -
stood, their bright eyes squinting in the midday sun)
Sora: Mimi!!!!
Daisuke: Mimi?
Miyako: Mimi???
Joe: *drooling* Miyako.....
Mimi: FIRE AT WILL!!!!!
Yokomons: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*They invade down the beach in a neverending stream, and
attack by bouncing themselves off the heads of their victims.
The digimons soon find themselves disoriented, having been
hit in the head by 50 or so Yokomons each. Matt, TK, Sora,
Joe, Daisuke, and Miyako run up the hill to be with Mimi
and Tai. But the Digimons Digivolve and counter attack*
Greymon: NOVA BLAST!!!!!!! *324 Yokomons are die of radiation*
Mimi: WHAT!!?!??! How dare they?? Tai, send in more Yokos!!!!!!
Kabuterimon: ELECTROSHOCKER!!!! *165 Yokomons are electrocuted*
Miyako: YEAH!!!!! You SHOW those Yokomons who's boss!!!!!!!!
Everyone: MIYAKO!!!!!
Miyako: What????
Togemon: *Insert corny line here* NEEDLY SPRAY!!!!!! *201 Yokomons are
impaled*
Matt: *@#$*^%&$!!!!!!
TK: Matt, what does *@#$*^%&$ mean???
Matt: TK!!!!
Birdramon: METEOR WING!!!!! *57 Yokomons are burnt to a crisp*
Mimi: *@#$*^%&$!! Sargeant Tai, how many of our troops are left???
Tai: Well, um...one, two, three, four, five, six, uh, nine...twelve...
Joe: There are 252 Yokomons left.
Miyako: Wow, Joe, you're smart!
Joe: *drooling* uh,huhhuhuhuhuhu.......mmmmmm..........
Mimi: We'll continue fighting, down to the last forces, even if it means
death for all the Yokos!!!
Everyone: Yeah!
Miyako: WWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Meanwhile, Birdramon's got a bright idea. She has found the
wand Angemon gave them. She has picked it up and is flying over
the digidestined, sprinkling them with pink dust. The last of
the Yokomons have been smushed after Ikkakumon sat on them. No
one is there to protect the digidestined, exept themselves*
Mimi: But....what's happening to us????
*Each child's body is glowing with a strange light...suddenly
transformation music blasts over the loudspeakers on the beach
and each child.....becomes a digimon*
Tai: TAI digivolve to......TAICHIMON!!!!!
Kabutermon: Taichimon is a mouse-like digimon, with the brains of an
animal one twenty-fifth it's size, but with some kick @$$ skills at tae kwon
do!!!
Matt: MATT digivolve to.....YAMASAMAMON!!!!!
Kabuterimon: Yamasamamon is a beautiful fox-like digimon, who can bewitch
it's enemies with it's beauty.
Sora: SORA digivolve to........HELMETHEADMON!!!!!!!
Helmetheadmon: Hey! I RESENT THAT!!!!!!!
Kabuterimon: Helmetheadmon is a giant digimon, like a cross between a hippo
and an elephant. It happens to be the only digimon with less intelligence
than Taichimon.
Helmetheadmon: Oh, just shut up!!!!
Mimi: MIMI digivolve to......PRINCESSMON!!!!!!!
Princessmon: YAY!!!! I get to be a princess!!!!!!
Kabuterimon: Princessmon is basically just a spoiled girl dressed like a
princess whose habit is ordering others around.
Princessmon: HMPH! Go away, Peasant!!!
Joe: JOE digivolve to.....JOMAMON!!!!!!!!
Kabuterimon: Jomamon is a friendly digimon, who gets along well with
others, but unfortunatly NEVER wins a fight.
Jomamon: Hey, at least I'm smarter than Helmetheadmon
Helmetheadmon: SHUT UP!!!!!
Miyako: MIYAKO digivolve to.......*@#$*^%*&$MON!!!
*@#$*^%*&$mon: *@^$&@(#&%#@^!!!!!
Kabutermon: Hey, I think there's already a bit too much swearing in this
fanfic, so I'm just going to skip her intro.
Daisuke: DAISUKE digivolve to.....WANNABEMON!!!!!
Wannabemon: Wannabe??? Wannabe what???
Kabuterimon: It's obvious from his looks that Wannabemon is nothing but a
cheap copy of Taichimon, without Taichimon's skill at tae kwon do.
Wannabemon does, however, have a bit more intelligence than Taichimon.
Wannabemon: *performing a pathetic dance of elbow jerks* I'll tell you
what I want, what I really really want....
Helmetheadmon: OH JUST SHUT UP!!!!! WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! OH I HATE
MY LIFE!!!!!!!
TK: Takeru digivolve to..... KAWAIIMON!!!!!
Kabuterimon: Kawaiimon is a puppy-like digimon with big eyes and an even
bigger heart!
Everyone: Awwwww.....
Kawaiimon: Look at me! I'm cute!!!
Everyone: Awwwwwwww.........
Angemon: *who has suddenly arrived from out of nowhere* All right, LET'S
GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Angemon, and the other Champion digimon stand against the
newly digivolved digimons Taichimon, Yamasamamon, Jomamon,
Helmetheadmon, *@#$*^%&$mon, Princessmon, Wannabemon,
and Kawaiimon. They are ready to fight*
Taichimon: TAICHI HIGH KICK!!!!
Greymon: NOVA BLAST!!!!
Wannabemon: COPYCAT KICK!!!!!!
Birdramon: METEOR WING!!!!!!!
Helmetheadmon: HELMET DEFLECTOR!!!!!
Kabuterimon: ELECTRO SHOCKER!!!!
Jomamon: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
Togemon: *insert corny line here* NEEDLE SPRAY!!!!!!
Princessmon: *yawn* A little assistance here?
Garurumon: HOWLING BLASTER!!!!!
*@#$*^%&$mon: *@#$&%$^&$@#!!!!!!! I hope I get back to normal soon...
Ikkakumon: HORN BUSTER!!!!!
Kawaiimon: HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Angemon: HAND OF FATE!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!
Yamasamamon: BISHOUNEN POWER!!!!!!
*Everyone cowers before the strongest attack yet known to
digimon: Bishounen Power. It seems as though the children,
now digimons, have won the battle. Until....*
Izzy: STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!
*Suddenly in the middle of the battle stands Izzy, with Kari
clinging faithfully to his side. Behind them are many
digimons, all with Joe-blue hair, and pens and pencils in
hand*
Everyone: Izzy!!!!
Izzy: Yes! It is I, Daddy Koushiro, greatest mind in all the digiworld!!!
Now, I, and my faithful assistant and future wife, Kari...
Kari: *giggles*
Izzy: Will OVERTAKE THE DIGITAL WORLD!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Kari: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Taichimon: KARI!?!?! What are you doing with this psycho science freak???
Kari: Shut up, Tai!!! Koushiro and I are madly in love with each other!!!!
Taichimon: !?!?!?
Izzy: And all of you will pay for your pathetic mortal ways!!! Sic 'em, my
children!!!!
*The miniature digimons with Joe-blue hair walk towards the
other digimons and begin to speak*
Ashimon: *writing in her notebook*....and Helmetheadmon decided she wanted
to die, and threw herself into the ocean....
*Helmetheadmon steps to the edge of the beach and throws herself
into the water*
Helmetheadmon: Hey! NO! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!
Taichimon: Huh?????
Kawaiimon: What's going on?????
Sounashamon: *writing*....Suddenly Yamasamamon attacked Taichimon, and they
became engaged in a battle to the death....
*Yamasamamon and Taichimon begin to fight ferociously*
Princessmon: What in the world are those two doing?
Kiramon: *writing*....As Togemon and Ikkakumon blasted the other digimons
with a potent toxic gas....
*Togemon and Ikkakumon wield air guns and spray an orange mist
at their fellow digimons*
Digimons: HEY QUIT IT!!!!!!
Togemon: We can't!!!
Ikkakumon: We can't stop ourselves!!!! They're controlling us!!!!!
Jomamon: Could it be..... are those... things, Izzy made.....are they
controlling us!?!?!?!?!
Taichimon: MUST BE!!! HEEEEEELP!!!!! *bites Yamasamamon's tail*
Yamasamamon: OWOWOWOW!!!! STOP HIM JOMAMON!!!!
Jomamon: Uh...I don't think......
Izzy: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO!!!!!! YOU CAN'T
STOP US!!!! KARI AND I WILL RULE THE DIGITAL WORLD!!!!!!!!MWAHAHA!!!
Kari: MWAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!
Izzy: How are you doing, cookie?
Kari: Just fine, honeybunches!
Maemon: *writing*...soon all the digimons were pitted against each
other....
*All the digimons except Izzy's fanficmons start to fight*
Birdramon: If this keeps up...*punches Kabuterimon* ...we'll kill each
other!!!!!!!
Angemon: *beating up Princessmon* I think that's the point!!!
Izzy: Exactly!!! YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE!!!!! MWAHAHAH!!!!Kyramon, finish
them off!!!!
Kyramon: *writing* .....Finally, all the digimons met their end, and they
lay, dead as doornails, on the deserted beach....
*All the digimons drop, dead, on the beach. Helmetheadmon's body
floats away on the current. There is silence amid the hundreds
of deceased Yokomons and other fallen champion digimons*
Mysterious Voice: WAIT NOT YET!!!!!!!
*From the sky comes a thin blue beam of light. The digimons - all
except the Yokos - begin to stir and slowly rise back to life*
Izzy: WHAT!!?!?!?! WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!
Kari: IZZY!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS PLAN WAS FOOLPROOF!?!?!
Izzy: GET OFF MY BACK WOMAN!!!!!!!
*Suddenly inside the beam of light appears a young man in a white,
hooded robe. He bears a striking resemblance to the younger
Gennai. He wields a sword which, in place of a blade, emits a
blue beam of light*
Everyone: Who are you....?
Mysterious Guy: I am the son of Gennai. My name is Jar Jar Gennai.
Kari: Oh brother.....
Jar Jar Gennai: I have come to make peace and harmony. Groovy, man.
*Blue beams of light fall on the digidestined that were turned into
digimons. They de-digivolve back to children. Other light beams
shine on Izzy's army of digimon. Slowly they grow to normal
human size and regain their own hair color. They appear dazed
and confused. But they pick themselves up, dust themselves off,
and carry their notebooks and pencils with them into the horizon.
Who knows, maybe someday one of them will write their very own
story about their adventures that day.....and beyond*
Izzy: You fools!!!! Come back here right now!!!!!!! Or Daddy Koushiro will
give you a spanking you'll never forget!!!!!!!
Jar Jar Gennai: Leave your anger, Izzy and Kari. Love your friends.
Spread the love throughout the digital world....
*He shines blue beams of light at Kari and Izzy. They blink
and look confused*
Kari: Hmmm? Where am I? What was I doing?
Izzy: I can't remember a thing? Where did I put those darn nuclear test
results again?
TK: They're back to normal!
Miyako: Ah, and so are we!!!
Joe: *drooling* Mi-ya-ko.....
Tai: My sister's not in love with a mad scientist anymore!!!
Kari: WHAT?!?! ME? in love with HIM!?!?!
*she looks at Izzy. Izzy looks at her. They hold each others'
gaze for a moment*
Izzy & Kari: Naaaaaah, couldn't happen.....
*The digimons, who have de-digivolved to their rookie forms, come
running up happily to their owners*
Gabumon: Matt! I'm so happy to see you again! And as a human too!
Gomamon: Hiya Joe. Didn't ya like being Jomamon better?
Patamon: Heehee! And Easter said I wasn't in this story! Shows how much
SHE knows!
Jar Jar Gennai: Miyako and Daisuke.... thank you for your...um.... well you
didn't actually DO much, did you now? But it is now time for you to take
your place in your own season. I must send you back to digimon zero two.
Daisuke: We're ready!
Miyako: The sooner we leave this bunch of losers, the better.
Sora: WHAT????
Jar Jar Gennai: I will now send you into the future, to your own season...
*A blue light begins to shine on them.....*
Joe: NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! NO, Jar Jar Gennai, sir, PLEASE don't take Miyako
away. I LOVE HER!!!!!
Sora: *crying* SO DO I!!!!!
Miyako: BEAM ME UP, JAR JAR!!!!!!!!!!
*Jar Jar Gennai transports the two children back to Digimon Zero
Two, leaving Joe and Sora in tears*
Joe & Sora: OH MIYAKO!!!!!!!! WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Jar Jar Gennai: Now, I have some special things for each of you...
*Yet another blue beam shines from the sky, and a cheap cardboard
box, splitting at the seams with styrofoam peanuts, crashes
violently into the ground. Upon closer inspection, the children
see it is marked "FRAGILE.HANDLE WITH EXTREME CAUTION". Each
child reaches in and withdraws an item from the box, specially
designed to help him or her battle evil digimons*
Tai: What's this??? Strange-looking device. Do you suppose it could be
some kind of shield....or maybe a hat!
Matt: ....it's a BOOK, Tai.
Tai: Boo-ok? I know nothing of this 'boo-ok' you speak of...
Sora: Oh boy.....
Agumon: Let me see what the title says, Tai. *reading* 'How to
incorporate the proper use and form of your tag and crest and thereby
overcome satanic digimons and save the digital world'
Tai: ....Boo-ok???
Izzy: Tai, why don't you take a nap - you've done far too much thinking for
one day...
TK: Hey Tai, mine's a book too!!!!! It's called 'Fun Four-Letter Words To
Know And Share'.....sounds like fun!!!!
Matt: WHAT?!?! Where are the censors when you need them...?
Tk: Look Matt here's that one you always use!!!! @$-
Matt: NO!!!!!!! TK...heh heh...let's just read the book, later, ok?
Mimi: Well, mine's not a book.....
Palmon: That's probably a good thing.....she couldn't read it anyway.....
Mimi: What was that, Palmon???
Palmon: Nothing!
Mimi: Well, like I was saying, mine's a pretty new ring!!! It's a diamond I
think!!!
Sora & Kari: Ooooh.....
Izzy: I'm proud to say that mine is a compact disk for 30 free hours of
AOL!!! Now I'll have access to all the latest nuclear revalations!!!
Sora: Okay, well, I got.....knee pads....HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?!?!?!
Izzy: *sweatdrop* As if the helmet wasn't bad enough.....
Joe: I got...allergy drops. YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
Matt: He WOULD be happy over allergy drops....
Sora: Well, what'd you get, Matt?
Matt: Me? Uh...I got.....this here rock.....yeah..... *he hides a sharp
daggar, labeled 'Matt' behind his back*
Izzy: A rock? How odd..... perhaps later you'll let me examine it for
traces of foreign chemicals and.....
Matt: Uh, sure Izzy. Here, you can HAVE it.
Izzy: Gee, thanks!!!!
Kari: I got a mini-vac. WHAT A RIP-OFF!!!!!!!!! I'm not gonna sit around
and vacuum while we've got the digital world to save!!!!!
Jar Jar Gennai: Although these gifts seem unimportant, they will be of
invaluable use to you in the future. I strongly suggest you keep them with
you. Any damage and/or vandalism WILL be billed to your parents in the real
world. Now I must go. Farewell, you eight digidestined... we will meet
again....
TK: BUH BYEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!
*he exits back up into the sky. The eight children and their
digimons stand...and stand......and stand some more......*
Tai: So, uh.....nice to see you guys again.
Everyone: Yep.....you too......
Matt: Well, since we don't have anything better to do....let's get outta
here. Those dead Yokos are REALLY starting to stink.....
Everyone: Yeah.
Mimi: Izzy....what are you doing???
*Izzy has discovered a pink sparkly, star-shaped wand, and is
messing around with it*
Izzy: Strange device....I wonder what it does??? I'll just stuff it in my
bag with my CD for free AOL...it may come in handy later. Well, let's be on
our way, shall we?
*So the children and their digimons brandished their new weapons
from Jar Jar Gennai and walked off, arm in arm, the way the
fanficmon had gone. As they walked a feeling of undefinable joy
came over them, Matt grabbed for his harmonica, and they began
to sing......*
Joe: *singing*
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember how Gomamon used to make me want to cry...
And I know if I had my chance,
That I could make Matt wet his pants,
And maybe I'd be popular awhile...
Izzy: *singing*
But there was an equation I had to solve,
With the first time Tentomon digivolved,
Bad news over email...
Tai's latest plan's sure to fail....
Tai: *singing....REALLY badly.....*
When Kari got so sick I cried,
I lost all my masculine pride...
But then I got all warm inside,
The day......the Yokos died.
Everybody: *singing*
We started singin'
Bye, bye, Mister Yokomon Pie,
Went to Miharashi Mountain,
But the lake had gone dry,
Our digimons were eating Yokos-on-rye,
Singin' this is the day Yokos die.
So...
We started singin'
Bye, bye, Mister Yokomon Pie,
Went to Miharashi Mountain,
But the lake had gone dry,
Our digimons were eating Yokos-on-rye,
Singin' this is the day Yokos die.
This is the day Yokos die.
Patamon: I wanna sing another one!!!!!!
Fin.
THE END.
So.....what does everybody think??? Better than parts one and two? Worse?
The same? Send questions, comments,suggestions, and birthday presents to:
yokomansion@hotmail.com
or on Yahoo! Messanger (but I'm not on here often) at:
bunny_olive
Or my icq number (please, if you talk to me on icq tell me if you're one of
the people who read this and not just a random chat.....) is:
72365700
So....it's time for another exciting edition of "HEY! My Spellcheck is
Off!!!" *insert corny elevator music* Is everyone happy??? Thought so.
This is how the Japanese names show on my spellcheck:
Taichi = Tahiti
Yamato = Yarmulke .... what????
Koushiro = Kinship
Jyou = Jour
Takeru = Tacker
Hikari = Hilarity
Gennai = Genera
wow, that was a short one.....so, now that the fun stuff's over with, time
for the disclaimers!!!
Okay, that ends ALL of Digi-Dorks: version 3.0. Hope everyone enjoyed it, comments are welcome!bye!
Easter
Part 1
Part 2
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