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When my buddy used to live in this neighborhood, there was this window that looked out into the prettiest little meadow. A number of adorable animals went to that meadow to eat the sweet, tender grass there, but the window's favorite was the cute little... mouse. It was a mouse. Did you know mice ate grass? Yeah well, they do. The seeds anyway. So, the window liked the mouse. She'd share the joys and sorrows of that little mouse. Of course, since the thing was a mouse, there really weren't too many interesting joys or sorrows, or else I'd tell you about them. In fact, I think there weren't any interesting ones at all. What is kind of funny though is that the window... a freakin' WINDOW liked a mouse, of all things. I mean, I understand how a mouse can be kind of cute, but still... a window? So anyway, I laughed at the window for a while, because like I said, it was pretty funny. It stopped being funny when the poor window fell in love with the mouse. It's kind of hard to understand how a window can fall in love with a mouse without ever talking to him, but you know, people have fallen in love on less, and they're supposed to be more complicated than windows and mice are. Well, the window was head over heels, or at least she would be had she possessed a head or heels, and the mouse was totally oblivious. It's not really the mouse's fault. He didn't even know the window existed. Why should he? He spent his whole life in the meadow, and never bothered to go near the house because there lived a big... scary... furry... hamster. He'd heard bad things about the hamster, and how it can persuade even the most careful mouse into its cage, and then place a death grasp around the mouse's neck, and then roll the wheel dealy over it, and then the mouse will die an agonizing death. It's even more agonizing than a cat eating it or a bird (a big scary bird... not like a mockingbird or something) because at least those things can be legitimately scary. A hamster? I mean, come on! The window didn't know about the hamster though, so she never knew why the mouse never came to the house. All she knew was that it was hopeless for her. She was in the house (or ON the house… whichever a window would be) and it's not like she has any ability to go to the mouse herself. Like I said, she's a window. So she lived the rest of her life in unhappiness, and that would have been a long miserable life too, except the kid living in that house played with matches, and burned the house down. The kid died, the hamster died, and the window died. The mouse never knew that the window loved him. He got married to some girl mouse, but the divorced after 10 months (which is pretty much equal to what we would think of as 6 years) because of irreconcilable differences. She got custody of their last litter, and he got drunk and was run over by a kid on a dirt bike.
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