The Sad & the Pathetic: Issue 10

Well hello Dolly, well hello Dolly. . it’s so nice to have you back where you belong. . . . . 

yeah. . whatever. well all know that Dolly is a spoiled rotten monkey. 

So how are my people doing? I’d have my people call your people. . . but I don’t have any people.
 and I don’t know who your people are. So I guess I’m out of luck then. 

So I’ve been keeping extrememly busy. Doing. . . ummm. . . stuff. You know. Swimming, reading, 
writing, arithmetic, going out on a date that I didn’t know was a date. The three r’s. You know. . . 
typical Mary stuff.

So I saw American Pie. Oh my god! Soooo funny. . . . whew. . . awesome awesome awesome blossom 
awesome. *wink*   I love the band camp chick. . . .”Say my name Bitch!” hahahahahaha. . . . . she is 
my hero. Adia can I be like her when I grow up. Except for the whole flute thing. Yikes! 

Fate.
Is there really fate? does fate exist? Is everything planned out in advance? and if so I don’t get 
it. some people believe that everything is planned out. I’ve talked with friends who say that we 
have free will. Every man and woman can choose his and her destiny. Well if this is true then how 
can fate be possible. Every one of our decisions points us towards one ultimate destiny? but how 
can there be one destiny? I mean theoretically since we all have choices and supposedly we make 
them on our own then there should be many possibilities. Then there’s the whole God point. So 
while we have choices to make that affect our whole lives possible outcome God already knows the 
choices we will make and on that knowledge fate exists? Perhaps I’m the only one who had problems 
with fate. Then there’s the whole. Soulmate deal. A friend of mine believes that we all have 
soulmates. People that complete us. And that we also have partial soulmates. A soulmate can be a 
friend or someone with whom you may only have a brief time with but that the time that you spend 
with them changes your life and that they will always be there. So I don’t remember exactly what 
she said. I believe it was some time in the early morn and very dark. .. . well that and I’m getting
 senile. . .And how come sometimes I just know things. If a friend is asking advice I can say 
everything will work out in the end. And I know it will. I believe in this. I have complete trust in 
what I say. Do you rely on how you feel to guide you? Do I? 
Sometimes I feel something so strongly. . . what is that something? define something. Whether it 
be in relation to my art. Something that I need to do. 
Some people say that life’s a bitch. Life’s a beach. Learn how to swim. I’m not sure what life is, but 
I think I’m a pretty good swimmer. I have to say that I’ve let a few people swim out to far but I try 
to keep a life jacket close by in case anything happens. And for those of you who consist of my life 
jacket. Thanks for letting me float on you every once in a while. Although my swimsuit doesn’t go with 
orange. Do you think that we could coordinate? *wink*

So my brother is a sexist pig. How lovely. Okay so he’s not really. He just does it to goad me. And of 
course I whip his ass everytime. You want to go a couple of rounds with me? Bring it on. I just love a 
battle. I mean really guys. . .come on. . . you don’t have a chance. I’m sorry but we all know that women 
are better than men. Yeah that’s right! You heard me! You want to take this outside? All women know 
that we only let men think that they are in charge. In fact. . . . Scott kept trying to get me to do all 
this stuff and I was trying to find some nuts so that the screws wouldn’t fall out of my bed frame
(stop thinking that . . . . yeah I know you and your twisted mind). So after I was done with that Scott 
is calling me to come in and help him unpack some boxes; I said I don’t think so. . .and the entire morning 
I had been telling this mover guy that control is all in the mind. You have to keep them thinking that they 
are in charge when we all know that you are in charge. Ladies help me out here. You know what I’m talking 
about.. . . all the guys are thinking yeah whatever. But it’s true. but you don’t want complete control 
because that gets really dull really fast. I mean come on if I were like that I’d already have a cult out in
 Florida. . . I bet I could get my own state like the Mormons if I wanted to. . . ummm. .. . did I say Mormons? 
I didn’t mean Mormons. . I mean morons. . right. . I could get all the morons to join my cult. But then I’d 
have a lot of cheerleaders in my cult(nothing personal Jesse. . .you’re still my Q-Tip) and that would just
 drive me up the wall. . . ugh!
and that was a completely pointless and unfunny story. Man . . .  errr. . . Woman do i need to get some sleep 
before I write some more of this. . . that and get something to eat when i do. . . 
speaking of eating. . I had to cook dinner for myself last . . . yeah awwww. . poor mary. . whatever. . .well I 
burned my finger. :-(. . . there are just some people who should be banned from the kitchen. Can I volunteer 
to be banned? am I allowed to ban myself? I don’t think that my family would let me be banned. . . damn. . . 
I don’t suck at cooking enough. . . just another thing to work on. 
Oh and I was fighting with a guy about whether I was more pathetic than he was. Of course he was trying 
to strip me of my Dateless Wonder title. I just couldn’t let him have it. So the first question was when
 was the last date you had before the other day? A year. So he beat me on that one. . . but don’t worry. . 
I know that you’re gasping. . . thinking how could anyone beat Mare? Well don’t worry darling. After
 convincing him that I indeed hadn’t had a boyfriend and of course I got the usual shocked “What!!!” as a 
response. . . . wish I had a freaking dime everytime I got that response. . . . I’d be a millionaire. . . allora. . .
so. . . anyways. . . I quickly ressumed the unquestioned title of Dateless Wonder. Thank you all. You can stop 
clapping now. I’m going to try and get some sleep. . hopefully I won’t pass out before I get to my bed. 
Until tomorrow my sweets.

Alrighty. . .another day in the world of Maredom has passed. Can I just say that my mom cannot drive and 
that my family is on crack. I mean they have to be. There is no other way we could be like we are.  We decide 
to go out to some restuarant for lunch that my mom picked out. Never again. It was a kids restaurant. . . 
and we all now how much a love tons of kids running around screaming. . . grrrrr. . . ugh! So many kids. . so
 many chances that birth control could have been used. Just say Trojan.
And then we went downtown to the IMAX theater. We saw the Amazon and the Egyptian one. They were 
hokey but you go for the images not the story. I want to go!! Who wants to come with me? Eygpt, Brazil, 
Macchu Picchu, Columbia, Istanbul, Cairo, everywhere. . . . 

okay I think this is enough of a bad letter for now.  I’ll bore you to tears another time with lame stories. . . 

take care everyone. 
Have a great day. . I mean it’s got to improve after you finish this letter.
ci vediamo
-Mare