The Sad & the Pathetic: Issue 17

How are my lovely beings today?

“Ready ready ready ready to run, I’ll I’m ready to do is have some fun. What is all this 
talk about love? Ready to run. . . .yeah  ready to run. . .ready to run. . . “ 

	So some us were talking. . . that would be Adia, Kendritta, and I. Adia and I saw 
Runaway Bride while I was in Boston . . .which was about a month ago. and Adia has 
the gall to tell me that I am Julia Roberts in that movie. If you don’t know what it is about
 . . . Julia Roberts ends up running from like four of her weddings. She claims that I’m 
not that type of girl to have a serious commitment. . . .just because I prefer not to sign a 
room contract here at Smith because I feel too tied down . .. . *wink*
	Today I went to a video production introduction for Music, Media and the Visual 
Arts(that would be one of my classes). Very neat stuff. Anyone want to be a star? I’m 
doing casting calls for my t.v. show which of course is what The Sad & the Pathetic 
was originally created as and some day it will live up to it’s full potential. *wistfully 
staring into space* (Adia says it will be the next Seinfeld. . even better. . because it’s 
about nothing. . and yet something. Isn’t that beautiful *wiping tear away*)
	Yes I know I’m jumping around today. but at least I’m separating it into 
paragraphs even though my grammar is horrendous. Thank goodness for spell check; 
and for Adia thank goodness I’m here. . . . let’s talk about everyday. .
“Mare?”
“Yeah”
“How do you spell Dylan? Dillan?”
“Are you talking about Dylan Thomas?”
“Yeah”
“d y l a n b i t e m e”
“Okay hold on. . . d y l a n m e?”
*wink*

She’s so much fun to play with. The only way she’s figured out to get me back is to 
physically threaten me and I LOVE her evil look. It’s so cute!! I know I’m weird, but it’s 
my goal to provoke her just so I can get that look. She squints her eyes and the edges 
of her lips kind of wrinkle up. . . hee hee. . . *wink* It’s so great. Just picturing it right 
now makes me laugh. 
	Of course we get some homework and quizzes back in Statistics today. I look 
down at one of them and I have like a 14/25! That’s what? 40 plus 16. . 56! What is that 
about? and the prof says okay if you have any questions come after class to see me . .  . 
the whole class got the same thing maybe worse on that homework. Everyone 
stayed. .. and he says well it was all graded the same so . . and I say yeah maybe it 
was graded poorly across the board, just because they failed us all doesn’t mean we 
should be. . .but whatever. . .it’s just one homework. Of course if this keeps happening 
I’m going to actually do something about it. . which means I have to use some energy. . 
. . .I hope not. I can barely walk up the stairs. . I always ask someone to carry me up. . . 
but since I’m a freak here and taller than everyone it doesn’t quite work.
	Emma’s here!! Yeah. . . say hi everyone. . *monotone. . hi Emma* hmm. . .that 
was pathetic. . . so I came back from video production thing and Oprah is on which I 
don’t watch.. . but some kid is on there who is ten and in college and he’s saying 
something about changing the world. . .so I had leave before I heaved .. so I decided to 
do something violent and I went and did a run by hugging of Emma. .. so that’s where 
that whole story came from. No I don’t know why I included that. 
	Does anybody else here love the feel of earlobes? Seriously. They are so soft. 
Jess got her hair cut and now her earlobes are just saying, “Mary. . I’m soft. Mary I’m soft. 
and Jess won’t let you touch me.” and then they give off an evil laugh. . . . 
laughing at me. Okay so not really. . . but Carrie the other day was yelling at her Rice 
Crispys; yeah and you think I’m weird. I was just making up the earlobes taking to me. 
So Carrie said, “Shut up! I’m going to eat you anyway!” And I thought I had problems. . . . 
. .(Carrie just read this and said. . earlobes ewwwww. . . *wink*)
	I’m sure some of you remember that Kendra is trying to kill me. She threatens 
me constantly and yet no one hears her. In fact tonight at dinner. .  I sat down and she 
said “I swear I’m going to kill you.” I’m not kidding. No one heard her! There were four 
other people at the table. They all think I’m nuts now. And by now I’m sure you think I’m 
nuts too, but that’s okay. I forgive you. Maybe. .. . .we’ll see if you’re as lucky as Tony. 
	And poor Josh! Lost his job. But never fear. . .lil Joshuaina has already found 
something perhaps better. Just don’t go camping. Josh! Where are you? Josh!. ..   
a little something called Blair’s Underwear. . .. or something like that. You and goat boy 
should still be punished for the hiding behind the bushes and trying to scare bekks 
and I. 
	Speaking of punishment. . . .all I have to say is. . *kick in the shin* yeah you. 
Blondie. hmmm. . . . .I ask someone to send me an e-mail right? So what do I get? “A 
message from ___” from some company. . . if you enter this contest then you will win. .. 
that’s not real e-mail. Yeah I know I already kicked you twice before. . . but I feel that 
you deserved it a third time and now I shall forget it. 
	Whew. . . I’m tired. Writing these are lots of hard work you know. I mean I have to 
choose what is funny and what isn’t . . . and apparently I fail with Saraa. . . she doesn’t 
think that these are funny. But that’s fine. no hard feelings. . .I’ll just sit in my corner and 
cry. . .. *wink* 
	Everyone say hi to Lluvia. She actually wanted to receive this. .. . as opposed to 
some people. . .like Saraa. howdy Lluvia. 
	Alright alright. . break it up. Break it up. The show is over here. . . go about your way. 
Adia just asked me to spell “rural”. . which she got right by the way. . . *wink* oh the fun 
never stops . . .I love you Adia. . . *big hug*. . . . . I think I should teach a course over 
interterm. . . it’s all about me. . . *wink* I would get 500 bucks. . . .I found a great button I
should get. . .”All me. All the time.” Don’t you think that’s cute? Even troll-like. . . like 
Saraa. . . she’s so cute; she’s troll like. Maybe Adia and I can teach a class together. .  
how to read your friend’s mind. .. I read her mind. . she tries to kill me because of my 
gift. It’s a love hate relationship *wink*
	Ever find that couch Jamie? And Bekks. ..  get that restraining order on psycho 
boy. I’ll forge the signature if I have to.  Adia wanted to me add something about last 
Friday night. . .next issue. I promise. If you’re reading this at work Jesse. Go home. . . 
don’t make me come drag you *wink* and hi by the way. 
okay
I’m going
I swear
have a great day

ci vediamo
-Mare
	
by the way go here. ..  Carrie loved it. It reminds me 
of Robin Hood the cartoon version. . .

second by the way. .. Lisa just walked past my room with some ice which Adia has had 
thrown down her shirt. . . so I said. . “Adia. . gift?”. . . And Adia goes running down the 
hall to toss her “gift”. . .into Lisa’s face. . .gift? what gift you say? a large piece of 
chocolate cake. How old am I? hey I just sit back and laugh. ..  and back Lisa comes. . 
taunting Adia. . and Adia once again out with the cake. . .the fun never ends. . . 
welcome to my life.