The Sad & the Pathetic: Issue 20

So. .. parent’s weekend. . . the weekend where everything is jazzed up for the parents. 
They later hold this ritual at the end of the year for alumni.

This is about Smith.. . (this would be the big slogan that is everywhere because it is the 
125th anniversary of Smith)
I should know the slogan. . . I personally took six water bottles with the slogan on them 
from coffee house the other night. . .. .This is about. . . money. . .(is what I told my mom 
after “convocation”. .  I believe her response was to tap me and say “you are so bad”
ah . .whatcha gonna do about it? nothing. .  love me. . . 

So coffee house was actually pretty good. . .free water. . free food. .for a mere thirty 
thousand dollars. . all this can be yours too. . who has this kind of money? don’t ask 
me. . Ross Perot? There was some small trio playing . .  I recognized the singer. . “Hey 
Adia. . that guy works on campus” “Who does?” “The one singing” “I don’t know him” 
“hmmm . . well I know he does because I see him around all the time”. .pardon me for 
noticing people. . *wink*. . I have no clue what I'm talking about. . if you do could you 
please write me and tell me. thanks.

So this is great. . . I’m sitting with my parents talking about what I’m going to do next
year and this coming summer. I don’t know what I’m going to do . .. .So I’m talking 
about how Adia and I are thinking about having interns somewhere and living together 
with probably some other people like she did this last summer. . . 
Dad:”Well is Adia wants to stay in Boston another summer that would be a great place.
 . you two girls could get a place together”
me:”more like us and to other people”
dad:”sure. . .you and two other girls. .”
me:”or guys. . it doesn’t matter”

now here is where my dad gives this really really long pause.. ..hahahaha. . 

“You’re not okay with that are you dad?. . you’re not ready for your little girl to grow up. “
mom:”no he’s not”
me:”You’re never going to like anyone I date are you?”
my mom is shaking her head
me:’they don't’ have a chance do they?”
my dad is just completely silent this whole time. .. hahahah. . . it was priceless
that pause. . .so great. . .
so then he goes directly back to the job and everything. . completely avoiding the last 
subject.
It was priceless. .you know that commercial with some credit card. . .hot dog $2. . 
baseball game seats $35. . . afternoon with your son. . priceless. . . this is one of those 
priceless ones. . . 

So I lost my dad again this year. . .I lost him last parent’s weekend. . and again this 
year. . but never fear. . .I found him. 

So Adia met my parents. . after countless stories. . . . we were waiting for a table in 
India House. . and my dad was talking to some random guy about something random
 most likely. . .and I said. . isn’t he cute. . and she said, “Yes know I know what you 
mean when you say he’s cute.”

Adia thinks that I’m like my dad. . . .ahhhh!. .. *wink*. . *closing eyes really 
tightly. .. . say it ain’t so. .say it ain’t so*. ..I guess I might as well give up. . 

You know what. . .I can’t remember what I wrote in my last issue. . I’m getting really 
senile. . .

here are a few web sites that are worthy of S&P. . . pretty funny. ..





So we go out to eat. . .Adia, my parents, and I. . .so we decide that India House will be 
full we’ll go eat at Bertucci’s in Springfield, which we never found. . an hour of driving 
around we ended up back in Northampton at the India House where ewe started from. 
. how typical of my family. after we eat dinner we start to leave and there is this bowl of 
stuff that my dad grabs a hold of and starts crunching away. .”Dad what is that?”
“I don’t know. . after dinner mints”
it looks like bird seed. . .but nonetheless my mother grabs some and hands it to Adia 
and me. . and we all put it in our mouths once outside. .and I think it’s just totally 
disgusted and immediately spit it out in the flowers right next to the door. Adia in 
amazement can’t believe I just did that. . but no one was around so who cares. . then 
Adia decides that since it’s okay for Mary to spit it out that she can too. . and then 
my mom is like well darn it. . . . I would spit mine out but I already ate mine. . . and my dad
. . hahahaha. . he has no clue what was going on. . “I thought it was a valuable 
experience. . it was interesting”. . . . he must be on crack! Tell me it is so. ..I am like this
 man?? surely not. *wink* *say it isn’t so. . say it isn’t so* And this whole time I’m saying.
 . Dad that was so disgusting. . . . what? you didn’t like it?
never mind

*ring, ring* 
hello?
hi, my name is Peter Pumpkin Eater and I’m with some freaking telephone company. 
We’d like to give you a great rate. . blah blah blah blah. 
No, I’m not interested.
But. . blah blah blah blah blah
No thank you.
But blah blah
No. . I really am not interested.
okay. bye
bye

this is my lovely wake up call at 8 am . .. . Saturday morning. . .Mmmm. . . that’s love.

I think I just gave Adia bad advice. . .she asked if she does something else if her paper 
will write itself and I said yes. . .. .

I think I need to go to bed. Whew. . . 

This is about me. . .
This is about my bed. . .

you know what. . . Kendra is lying on my bed reading a book.  . I completely forgot she 
was here.  Sorry Kendra. . oh get this! Kendra says to me. . 
are you good at tennis or do you just have your racket hanging up on your door(along
 with my coats and other items) or are you just trying to be cool. . .
 I’m okay at tennis. . . 
No Pete Sampras then?
No, I wish.
Well I can make money off of you anyway.
Oh is that right?
Sure. .I’ll be your pimp.
What about my Sugar Daddy?
Hmmm. . . 
Kendra. . what is the difference
(now here is when I get a very thoughtful look from Kendra and she is seriously 
considering the difference between a Sugar Daddy and a pimp.)
(luckily for us Adia is able to enlighten us with the contrast which I will now impart onto
 you)
Adia: A Sugar Daddy uses you and in turn takes care of you, but doesn’t share you.. . 
a pimp “loans” you out to other people for profit.
(thank you Adia. . now I know)

I won’t even tell you what just went on in my room. . . it’s not even worth discussing. .
 all I have to say is that Kendra and Adia are presently located within my room. . . funny
 as hell. .  but I am unable to relay the events which have . . and they are now reading 
my screen so I must quickly send this out so before they make me change it. 

*big hugs to all*
ci vediamo
-mare